Paranoid or cheater?

Me and my partner been together 3 years expecting first baby, i have recently found a message on his facebook from another girl about cuddles, she is from his work... I confronted her and she sent me several more sexual messages that my bf had sent to her, he denied it all of course... I have had a previous experience with this before with him but at the start of our relationship. He has now left his job and working in a new place now, guilty? Am i going to OTT? or do i walk away? Or do i stay with him for our baby and warn him that one more thing im walking away? I feel rubbish

7 Replies

  • Really sorry hun but he sounds like a complete arse. Definitely sounds guilty to me and I bet he thinks that as your pregnant you will stay. Obviously in a ideal world the mother and father would be together but if you let this go he will assume its ok and he can treat you like this and you will be forever looking over your shoulder and it will become unhealthy. Whatever you chose you need to be strong and stick with the decision, people dont realise what they have till its gone and if it was me I would go not tell him one more thing as he shouldn't of done anything in the first place. X

  • I'm sorry that ur going thru this. . What a horrible situation. . He needs to take some bloody responsibility for his actions.... the fact he has denied shows he is not accepting any responsibility... but you love him and ur having a child with him and he needs to make a decision.... Trust is a massive thing in a relationship and if he can't be trusted how are u going to feel when the baby comes along and ur at home all the time and he is out.... he needs to realize ur a human being with feelings and his actions hurt u and if he can't be there for u and not hurt u then he needs to go... not have the security of a relationship but do whatever with other women. ..u have to do what u have to do but if he carried on then he will just suck all ur energy by u worrying what he is doing whenu should be putting all ur energy into u and ur baby. .. its easy when ur on the outside looking in the decision can only be made by u and I think u have to see how he carries on from now and his actions say it all. .. hope ur ok x

  • Some girls can be vindictive, so do remember that. I had a massive fall out with my partner ages ago because he was messaging a girl on facebook and what he was saying could be construed as flirtatious. He was also texting her, I understood that they had been friends, more like drinking buddies, but only communicated to invite each other to parties prior to this. My fella works nights and she knew his finishing time and invited him to her house 1 morning at 6am for a cig and a catch up. When I saw that, my blood boiled and I said to him that this was not right, meeting a girl at 6am and i didnt like it and didnt like the flirtiness of his conversations. On his own merit, he refused to speak further with this girl and removed all contact. He admitted he didnt realise how it looked and when he looked at how he would feel if i did the exact same, he realised it was wrong.

    I suppose what I'm getting at is...ur fella has removed himself from the situation with her and removed all possible channels of contact. He even changed jobs. Maybe he did all that to protect ur feelings. I would suggest talking to him, telling him how it made u feel and letting him know if anything happens again then it will be his last. I hope u sort this out especially for urself and the babies sake. Good luck hun xx

  • We have already spoke about this and we just ended up arguing again it got no where i cant trust him one bit but i feel i have to stay with him for the babys sake

  • unfortunately I don't think staying for the baby is healthy, it will play on your mind and I don't feel you can feel the same about someone after what he did, you need to be able to trust him as that Is a big part of a relationship, do u live with ur boyfriend? if u do, do u have any family/friends nearby tht u cud stay with to maybe get away for a bit and try and get ur thoughts together. x

  • Ive tried all of that, my mum lives round the corner from us, i just dont know anymore!

  • Personally if he wasn't cheating he wouldn't have left his job. Cheaters are usually very good liars and he would of found a way to sweet talk you or turn it back on you making you feel guilty while he had his cake and ate it. The fact he removed himself suggests he didn't realise how it looked. At the end of the day ,en are completely oblivious to these things

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