Has anyone else had their partner being extremely nervous to find out if its a girl or boy. But mainly stressing incase its a girl

My partner is being really odd if we talk about if its a baby girl but he is really relaxed about if its a boy. This is our first child and i know he would be a brill dad but does anyone have any advice. We find out the gender next friday but i dont want him stressing cause of his heart condition.

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  • Has he said why he is fretting about the child being a girl? What would happen if you two decided not to find out the gender and waited until B-Day? Do you think if you did this you would find yourself in the position whereby you have unconditional love for the child irrespective of gender?

  • me and my boyfriend are having our first child too and when we talked about deciding he just kept coming up with boys names and when I said he would have to think of girls names he kind of shrugged it off and the conversation stopped, as the date got nearer and the boys names kept coming I said (quite serious) there is a 50/50 chance of it being a girl or a boy and I don't want u to be disappointed if its a girl, why wouldn't u want a girl and he said tht he wants to do the typical father and son thing, i.e football trips, although we wud go as a family as I love football too, and I said but this day and age there are plenty of girls tht play sports. As it is our first I am wasn't in the least bit bothered which sex it was but after our conversation I made him tell me his favourite girls names and they were really pretty but we found out at the scan we were having a boy so the boys names are back lol, I think it is quite common for first time dads to want a son although I don't believe they would love a daughter any less, usually father daughter relationships r stronger. sit down and tlk to him as I am sure he will realise tht there is a 50/50 chance as the last thing u will want is to get to scan day and for u to both be stressing whether its a boy or girl as the main thing is if he/she is healthy xx

  • Did / or has your husband said anything like he'd be devastated if the baby were to be girl. If so why?. I've always believed daughters have very special bonds with their fathers, They may not show it in good ways "at times" but it's there.

    Or could it be maybe something which has happened in his past which makes him think he'd favour having a boy

    I susspose you could decide "together to wait until the baby is born to find out the gender, But if the thought of the gender is already worrying him i'm not sure it could help enough.

    I'm wondering if you could try asking him about is main fears of the baby's gender & then maybe you could also tell him yours too. It could help him feel a bit more relaxed.

    xx

  • I have just read your question to my husband and asked him why would you OH be feeling like this about maybe having a girl and his reply was 'because boys are easy to deal with and girls are a handful and a to hormonal for men'. I don't know how he would know as we have only got 2 boys so far. All blokes would love a son and can only really imagine themselves with a son. I am sure when the baby is born he will fall in love and wont even worry about the gender.

  • We had this situation the other way around - it was me that was stressing out it might be a girl, and my husband was happy either way. Maybe your husband has something that is bothering him... For me, it was because I had a truly awful relationship with my mother, and I thought having a girl would make me more likely to repeat some of her behaviour, whereas a boy I thought would be easier to create a very different dynamic with. I needed to find out so that I could either relax or take the next few months to try and get my head around how I would cope with a girl. I asked the sonographer to write down the gender for me so I could find out in private, didn't want to have to react in public. For me, I was lucky, he's a boy - and the stress immediately evaporated. But if it was a girl at least I could have tried to talk to a counsellor about some parenting strategies or something. It's not that I wouldn't have loved her if she was a girl, but you can love someone and still be bad for them, or need help knowing how to be a decent parent.

    I would recommend talking to him about it gently - check that he prefers to find out early so he can either relax or deal with it, and see if he would prefer to find out in the scan room, or privately by having it written down. I think if something is really worrying him, it will be easier for him to work out how to cope over the few months before baby arrives, than to try and deal with those emotions after months of stressing and while absolutely exhausted. I'm sure he will work it out either way, and I'm sorry it makes such a happy time more stressful for you, but it sounds like you are being very sensitive and caring to him, and with that support, he's bound to be ok isn't he!

  • Thanks for all the help. He is just thinking into the teen years for if its a girl but ive told him he doesn't have to worry because he can go to his uncle for advice. He never had his dad about and when he was he lied and made my partner angry. But i said go to ur uncle or grandad they have daughters and they will be happy to help.

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