OH taking over and feel undermined:-(

Since our dd was born he's been like this he makes me feel I'm doing everything wrong. I know I'm not. He argues with all the health professionals and thinks he's always right. I'm sure he's jealous in breastfeeding . He accuses me if not burping her properly and generally seems to make me feel I'm not up to scratch. Everyone else thinks im doing great why he doing this? :-( so sad

6 Replies

  • I'm sorry to hear that Ames! Have you tried (calmly) talking to him and expressing how you feel? This is the first step, as he may not realise how he's acting is affecting you.

    I can imagine he's just being over protective, but you're a team and need to stick together.

    I'm sure you're doing an amazing job sweetie, you're Mummy after all! :)

  • Sounds like left out syndrome! Think with men you sometimes need to remember they think like a child! You just need to let him get involved more....it's great that he is putting his input even thou he is going about it on the wrong way...put baby in the bath with him so he can have a little bonding time, when you breast feed it is hard cos they really don't get to do much... let him do the winding...change the nappy, get their pj's on..or you have a bath and with little one and he gets baby out and can dry and cream baby and get baby dressed...while you enjoy a lovely bit of you time to yourself x

  • I agree, I will be breast feeding, so I'm gonna let him burp, change nappies and bath, so he feels included :) and it means I can sleep :)

    Keep strong, men are certainly still teenagers themselves so need a bit of pampering to make them feel great!

  • I feel this is what could happen to my partner. He has a history of anxiety and im worried that when baby shows up he will act like the man above. He does know when he has gone a step to far in making me feel bad, but he does it because he is scared of what ever situation is confronting him. He wont even attend antenatal classes as he thinks 'I know it all' (the I being me) also he is scared of being in a room with other parents to be.

    Ive spoken to him about all this and we have made progress by him agreeing to watch youtube clips on things from bathing to nappy changing.

    It sounds like you partner is the same but he is running head first into his emotions instead of taking a moment to think. If you talk to him think about what you will say first, how would you like him to mention this to you if it was the other way around? IF not maybe talk to the health visitor and see if they can have a one on one chat with him.

  • Ah bless you, you need to talk to him as you don't want it to escalate with you bottling up your feelings as you are still probably feeling hormonal and you might get really down about the situation if it is not nipped in the butt now.

  • bless you. I think he probably feels left out so his probably just trying to help you. must be horrible hun. you have to sit and have a chat because if you dont its going to upset you even more as time goes on. I have to admit i did do this to my partner, everytime he tried to settle her or feed her i corrected him i didnt even realise i was doing it and he sat me down and said how much it upset him and i felt so bad and stopped straight away cause i really didnt realise this could be the same for you hun xx

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