hey due 23 aug with my very much wanted 2nd , we tried for 2 years .
I had emergency section with my 3yo so hopefully ( see my question today ) will be planned in for elective at 39 weeks , 16th aug .
im not feeling as excited as I was with my 1st ! i think because you kind of know what to expect , labour , delivery , sleepless nights etc... everyone else is looking forward to it and im making myself feel bad for not ! ur blissfully unaware when expecting ur 1st of the pressures you feel , this time im having a baby cos ultimately I wanted another child , when I wanted my son I wanted a baby ! u know what I mean ? I allways wanted kids and used to envy pregnant women with their big bumps but found the reality not too pleasant and after having my son when i saw heavily pregnant i felt sorry for them ! and think u might think its bad now wait till there here , u have no idea what sledge hammer ur gonna feel like you've been hit by , presuming they were 1st time mums !
i think its partly because I had a tramatic delivery with my son and although my boyfriend was around he wasn't much help and because he was around others presumed I didn't need them ! I took it all upon myself even though I was recovering from the section and overall its not a time I look back on with much joy, except for the fact of my son ( which is y we go through it in the 1st place ) and i would do it a million times over ( I can say that now ) but it was hard at the time . I think I will ask / accept help this time .
also I really wanted another boy and were told its a girl which obviously is a blessing and as long as shes happy and healthy I will b too but when I go shopping for her I get sad im not buying boys stuff , believe me I know how lucky I am and again I make myself feel bad cos I feel like im being ungrateful which im not . Im kind of expecting once I see her all the bad feeling will melt away , I don't think I feel as bonded as I did when expecting my son ! having said that I didn't get the rush of instant love with him , I got that when he 1st smiled at me : )
I think I worried more about the pregnancy this time 2 , and had pretty horrible morning sickness .
any of that relatable ?