I'm only 14 weeks pregnant, have been doing a lot of research and I do understand and appreciate all the benefits of breastfeeding. However, I want to keep an open mind and know the options are there for me to bottlefeed if necessary.
We weren't able to come to an agreement to the discussion, and I said I don't feel able to discuss the matter rationally with her.
Now, she says she is upset, shocked, devastated an disappointed at my attitude and is refusing to answer my calls.
What do I do?
Leave her be....... It's not nice to be pressured, you have an open mind that's fantastic.
She will always want you to breast feed because that's her job.
But it's your choice and something she should respect. Whether it be your her daughter or a patient her thoughts will be what's best for mum and baby and sometime breast feeding isn't the right option.
Good for you for standing your ground you've a lot of time to think about it and when it comes to it if you've tried it and it doesn't suit you had a go and I'm sure any mother would be happy with that. Xx
Just give it a few more days. I can understand you trying to contact your mom to apologize or explain your decision but this is ultimately a decision you will need to make on your own.
I think she just feels as if she wants to give you the best advise in the early days so when your closer to the baby's delivery date you'll have all the knowledge possible.
You never know you too could possibly in the later stages of pregnancy you might feel more confident to breast feed & change your mind.
In the meantime dont push your mom to talk as she might not feel ready to express her feelings again.
xx
Moms are over-expecting and irrational a lot of the times - do what you would have done with her at other such irrational occasions.
Mine acts like that too - and at times I have to ask her to shut-up in real firm voice (before I loose my own mind).
Its your baby and its your decision what you choose at the end of the day and your mom should not be expecting you to breastfeed your baby just because she is a Lactation Consultant - that according to me is simply putting a peer pressure (me and my mom are both lawyers and we both studied at same Uni and stayed at same hall of residence, so I know a lot of times she wold behave irrationally just because she did something during her days in college and I am doing something else, including the career path I choose - So I have to keep my feet down and ask her to shut-up - for you its more on a personal level than professional, but the pressure is quite alike)
Your body your baby....she needs to get over it, the fact your an adult now and she can't control the things you do anymore must be hard but she has to learn to let go! I have been thinking i wonder what I'll be like with my children as they are growing up, my eldest is 17 in nov...she tries to tell me this but I just say 'I don't care how old you are, while you live under my roof it's my rules'...lol it's hard but she will have to accept it, did make me chuckle that she is being childish about it...just leave her be she'll come round x
I agree!
This must be really difficult for you; I'm sure you mum wouldn't react like that to her patients and would be professional but will obviously as your mother (and a future grandmother), she is less rational as she believes her way is the best.
The whole breast feeding stuff freaks me out! I can't say I won't try it but not sure it's for me...
I'm sure she will come round soon enough; she won't want to miss out on any of it! x
This is a really tough situation for you to be put in - obviously your mum wants to put her expertise to good use and help you (in the same way that a good mechanic wouldn't let his wife buy an old banger for example!) but in doing so she is not only putting huge pressure on you to automatically take to breastfeeding but also already undermining you as a mother.
Once the dust has settled from your spat I would try your best to tell her that you're grateful for her input and will go to her when you need her but that it is really important for you to find your own way as a mum - just like she had to! No matter how much influence you take from the outside (health visitors, books, lactation-consultant mums etc) at the end of the day it is only us as parents who can be responsible for raising our nippers.
I had an easy ride with breastfeeding and personally think that everybody should give it a bash - I don't think there should be this crazy pressure put on new mums though, it's madness. If you bottle feed your baby, you are not a failure!
Good luck 
stand your ground, I'm sure she'll come around x
Sorry to hear your mum's being so irrational. Do stand your ground--this will be the first in a long line of attempts by various people to interfere with your parenting, but ultimately you have to learn to be thick-skinned, as when you know what's right for you and your child, it's no good giving in to people who want you to do something else.
As a mother looking back, I'd like to commend you on your very sensible approach toward the whole thing. I was determined that I would breastfeed come hell or high water. Then I had a severe 3rd degree tear during the birth that had to be repaired under a general anaesthetic, lost loads of blood, and my baby wouldn't latch on, all of which ultimately led to my milk supply being insufficient. Because I didn't know what I was doing and waited far too long to get in touch with a lactation consultant (I stayed on the ward for four days and trusted the midwives, who all gave me conflicting advice and ignored signs that my baby was severely dehydrated), my baby ended up losing a dangerous amount of weight and 12 hours after leaving the maternity ward we were readmitted to the pediatric ward. If I had it to do all over again I would spend much more time informing myself about what to do if breastfeeding doesn't go well--both how to use a breast pump to help establish a milk supply in the absence of a suckling baby, and how to formula feed. When we were told we had no choice, our baby needed formula, we didn't know anything. How do you sterilize the bottles? How much milk does a baby need? And we didn't have any supplies. I hadn't bought bottles or a breast pump or done any research into which brand I might want, because I thought I wouldn't need any of that until I went back to work, and then suddenly, after four days of almost no sleep I was told I needed to be bottlefeeding and pumping every three hours. Let me tell you--it's a lot easier to read up on all this stuff when you've had some sleep recently. Luckily I have an amazing husband who took care of everything bottle related, and also had an amazing lactation consultant who, ironically, was the one who taught us how to formula feed, and also the one who finally sat me down and very gently said, "It might be time to consider that maybe this just wasn't meant to be."
Hopefully my story doesn't scare you off, as that's not my intention. Breast milk is the best food for any baby, and it's definitely worth giving breastfeeding a try. But breastfeeding is also really really hard, and there are all sorts of pitfalls you can fall into, so it's good to know about all your options, and not beat yourself up if it doesn't work out. I was absolutely devastated, and it really was a waste of my emotional energy getting so worked up about it. If you do decide to give it a go, I highly recommend you have a lactation consultant on speed dial, but obviously not your mother, as she is clearly unable to consider your case objectively. This is probably the wrong thing to say on this particular forum and may earn me some flak, but I've heard horror stories about consultants from private organisations such as the NCT and La Leche League making women feel like failures if they even dared to consider giving their baby a bottle, whereas I found the NHS consultant I used to be wonderful and supportive. She even said at the class I attended before the birth, "We want you to breastfeed, but we don't pressure women, as we know it doesn't work." And of course if you decide not to even try, that's no one's business but yours, so don't feel you have to explain yourself to anyone.
Good luck and all the best! Babies are a blessing and a joy, no matter what you nourish them with!
Your mum has your best interests at heart. Breastfeeding is good for you (reduces risks of cancer, helps lose baby weight) and best for your baby (reduces risk of diabetes, asthma, allergies, gut problems and generally boosts the immune system). You're lucky to have expert advice to help you. Give it a try, once you've mastered it it's much more convenient, cheaper and a really great way to get to know your baby.
definitely don't let your mom pressure you, there is good and bad things with breast feeding and bottle felling.yes its amazing feeling to breast feed but first few days and maybe a week it hurts like hell (your womb), feels like you'll give birth again, then if your baby does not latch on properly you get sore and cracked nipples and so on.. my mum had loads milk when she had us (32 y ago) but when i had my son i was so determined to breast feed i did not know that milk comes in after couple of days after birth, especially when my son was pre-term, i was torturing my breast for hours when midwife told me to give it a rest and explained, when i got home we ran to shop to get all bottles and sterilizing equipment as i had to take my milk to hospital and for one reason or the other i lost my milk only after couple of months. this time i am prepared for both, just need to get pump, anyway by the time you have her or him you'll know whats best for you, but be prepared for anything,
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