This wait is killing me so scared

Trying to find someone in my situation, I had a miscarriage last year around 6-7 wks it was awful first scan they just told me there was no baby and I still had to wait 6 more weeks to do the Erpc. I am pregnant again now, I am almost 10 weeks but only having my first appointment with the midwife next week and I don't know what to expect, every pain I have every small blood in the toilet paper I get paranoid, I am so scared of loosing this one too and of not even seeing him in the scan like last time. I get so jealous of women who just have babies so easily and no stress and some of them don't even care, smoke and drink and I am so careful I am even not taking coffee anymore. I just hope I am only being crazy and everything goes ok.

20 Replies

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  • Awwwwh! Trish198, i can only imagine your anxiety. Ive never lost a baby & i would never wish for any other woman too but try not to worry about the appointment too much (easier said than done). I believe in the saying "what will be will be" & hopefully this pregnancy will be able to go full-term for you.

    xx

  • Hi Trish, I do know the fear and checking the loo paper very time you go. All I can say is to take one day at a time and that you can 'tick off' each week that goes by without anything bad happening as a victory.

    I thought I would have a panic attack when I went for the 12 week scan this time around. I didn't know how I would step through the door and face the outcome...but for some reason I just managed to be completely calm in the waiting room, squeezed my husband's hand, told him that I had just 'made the decision to be calm' as I had had no reason to worry otherwise,

    It went well for me this time, and there's no reason why it won;t be the same for you.

    Let us know how you get on, xx

  • Thanks for the support I feel hopeful everything will be ok :)

  • All we have is hope sometimes. Decide to carry on being hopeful unless you have evidence to the contrary.

    If you do have significant bleeding etc then you have every right to cry/panic etc and your friends and family should give you lots of support.

    It won't be long before you can get that first scan out of the way and feel more confident as each week goes by xxx

  • It's so scary isn't it...I've been fortunate enough not to have to go through a miscarriage but I've bled in my first pregnancy for the first 3 months and then a big bleed at around 26 weeks...and this time i bled for a month, I have been having period pains on and off and every time I go to the toilet I'm always aprehensive, I even brought white toilet paper so I can check any change in discharge how over the top! Every stage I get to I feel anxious and I hate it I just wish I could relax.... hoping you have a smooth pregnancy and birth all the best xx

  • Also if you have had bleeding you should be sent for a scan

    X

  • I know how you feel I had a missed misscarriage and then an Erpc, it took me ages To recover emotionally and physically. The feelings you describe about jealousy, been there done that!

    I happy to say I'm currently 34 plus 1 day pregnant with a little boy:) I still check the loo paper, I still freak out, I still worry everyday, but less than six weeks I'm just tryng to be as positive as possible.

    Good luck xxxx

  • Hi Trish, I totally understand your worries, I have experienced 2 MC's and when I got PG for then 3rd time I was a bundle of nerves and worries, I had an early scan at 8 weeks and all was going well, I heard her say...there's baby.....and my body relaxed and I saw the wee thing with heart beat but the period between this and the 12 weeks I was convinced something was going to go wrong and cried all the way to the hospital for the 12 week scan. What's worse is not only having to deal with the emotions of the loss and fear in the new pregnancy but the hormones are driving you to distraction I am sure right now. It doesn't end there, I think we continue to worry and are very protective over our little ones from the moment they are conceived but as each milestone is met you will relax more.

    I am here to talk and good luck with your midwife and 1st scan apt :) XX

  • Well sorry u had 2 mc it must have been awfull thanks for sharing wish everything goes smoothly this time

  • We struggled to get pregnant for years then when we finally did we found out at 13 weeks the baby had died but there were no symptoms or signs anything had gone wrong and it was the hardest thing I've ever been through. We did get pregnant again very quickly, I'm now 40+5 but the first 4 months to th 20 week scan were the most nerve wracking of my life, I was terrified about everything. You should speak to your midwife about he possibility of going for an early scan to ease your mind. Try to stay positive as hard as that can be, it will all work out in the end and I wish you all the best. X

  • Thank you all for the support and words of encouragement I am new to this site but I a m just loving it already, all the people are so nice ana understand you. Thank you I feel so much better will be calm now and wait and hopefully everything will be ok. :-)

  • I have a two year old son. I was 40 when I had him. We got pregnant again but found out at the 12week scan that the baby died 10days previously, the weekend I had flu.

    I got pregnant again 5months later. I was so scared. At 10 weeks I had a small bleed and had a scan to find the baby sumersaulting and a strong heartbeat. I was relieved, but must admit that every ache and niggle scared me. At 31weeks I passed a small piece of the show/plug, I was convinced that the baby would be born early, but the little one held in there untill 40+5days when she arrived very quickly weighing a healthy 9lbs2ozs on Sunday May 5th 2013. We arrived at the hospital at 6am and she was born 9 minutes later, and I will be 43 next week!!!!

    It is natural that you will be scared after the loss of your last little one, but try and stay calm and take one day at a time and each new week as an achievement. Good luck sweetie. X xx

  • Bobby as I read your post it gives me so much hope because I am 43 and I don't have any kids but yet I had 6 M/C the last one was 18 weeks and I did IVF , even though I do have some underlying issues but I had strep b group and that's causes the water to brake early. Now I am in the process of going for another cycle, my heart is constant worrying of what can happen. Only the special grace of God the is keeping me going. It's a very hard and rough journey to travel.

    With that been said, a friend of mine had her baby last month and she ask me if I can be the baby Godmother but I am not selfish but I just cannot see myself accepting that because my pain has not gone away, it only subside and with her asking me it makes me soo angry. I am not envy or jealous of her but who knows my pain apart from someone who has been there and done it ? Getting pregnant again is so hard because loosing one or two is not as bad as loosing 6. If I am not good enough or fit enough to be a mother then I am not good enough to be someone baby God mother, it may sound harsh but its reality.

  • Sorry about your losses, I am sad coz i lost one and u r much worse than me I can't imagine how hard it is but I understand ur anger, when I lost mine I used to run from women with babies sometimes I even hated them for looking so easy for them and I wanted them to feel bad like I was feeling. Those feelings I think are normal maybe if u talk to your friend openly I m sure she will understand and support ur decision. Never loose hope. Best wishes

  • Monika15, I am so sorry that you have been through so much already. It was hard to lose a child, but to have six little angel babies..... I can't begin to imagine your feelings about pregnancy.

    I too was group B strep possitive with my son, but had a negative swab result with the last pregnancy. Apparently it's one of those bacteria that comes and goes. My son was born at 40+6days but as he was born with only one kidney and I had gbs he was on intravenous antibiotics for the first four days before we could go home.

    My heart goes out to you and I pray for your blessed hearts desire. Xxx

  • Yeah it's extremely hard but I try not to look at my age as we all do and doctor can only assume that age can a factor in one's life but I still have hope and I am still happy to be in the position to be funding all these cycle because I am not getting this done on the NHS. I notice I am constantly having protein in my urine whenever I am pregnant and that's my greatest problem but, I keep holding on.

  • Congratulations on your pregnancy and reaching the 10 weeks mark, take it as a positive point that you have made it past when you unfortunately mc last time.

    I have been through exactly what you have been through and so have many others on here so you are defo not alone in what you are feeling. Speak to your midwife at your appointment and tell her your concerns. You are only 2 week away now from your 12w scan and it will probably seem like a life time away. After your scan and everything is o.k please try and relax and start enjoying being pregnant as it goes very fast.

  • Thanks im feeling better now and I see there are people going through bad times and so I thank God for what I have so far ;-)

  • My friend had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks and is now 11 weeks pregnant. She has experienced the same feelings as you and has had 3 scans already. Some days she's freaking out and crying. As she has no symptoms, it particularly worries for her (although I'd say the period like pains she gets is probably a symptom!). You're really not alone. It doesn't matter how much you worry, it's not going to change anything so I'd say it's better for your health to be positive. Just take each week at a time and look forward to the 12 weeks scan. xx

  • My friend had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks and is now 11 weeks pregnant. She has experienced the same feelings as you and has had 3 scans already. Some days she's freaking out and crying. As she has no symptoms, it particularly worries for her (although I'd say the period like pains she gets is probably a symptom!). You're really not alone. It doesn't matter how much you worry, it's not going to change anything so I'd say it's better for your health to be positive. Just take each week at a time and look forward to the 12 weeks scan. xx

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