12 months of TTC

Ok. 12 months on, I have just read somewhere f "what no one told you" about ttc, that is. And I now want to tell others about how I feel.

We started trying at the end of April last year. Just after doing everything in the order I thought it should be done: career, house, wedding... . In September 2008, my obgyn had told me I had PCOS, but I never gave it to much relevance for two reasons:

1. He didn't do a great deal of tests, only an internal ultrasound

2. When I asked whether it would prevent me from getting pregnant, he said no.

Two weeks before we started, I went to see my GP and told him about my PCOS diagnosis and the fact that my periods were fairly irregular (5 to 9 weeks)

The first two months were exciting. The appearance of my period only made me think we had mis-timed sex. I could not believe the negative test in September, given I had been having plenty of sex around what I thought would have been my ovulation time (note I wasn't charting...) So, more determined than ever, I decided that October was the month I would get pregnant. I spent about £90 in ovulation tests that month (you can imagine that 7 week long cycles turn out to be expensive... :-)). And to my surprise, I did not ovulate!

So, on the 4th (or 5th...) of November I went to see my GP and explained the situation. Fairly young and inexperienced, he had to refer to a proforma to know what to say. His first question was: "How do you know you haven't ovulated?" "I have been taking tests every morning for about 6 weeks", I said. He then decided to send me for the 21-day blood work. Results, collected in early December, showed that I had not ovulated that month either. The good thing about this appointment, is that I met a new GP who was great and I now ask to see every time.

He recommended to repeat the test again on the 21st day of my next cycle (to confirm that the first one wasn't a spurious result), but also to get my husband's sperm tested. My doctor also asked me to have an ultrasound. I spent the whole of Christmas waiting for my period, so that I could get the second test done asap. It took nine weeks! Unnerving!. And guess what, day 21, I was meant to be in a business trip. Thankfully, my business trip got delayed and I managed to have the test on the morning I left!

My husbands results came back ok, but mine showed no ovulation again. And also high levels of prolactin. The ultrasound was ok, though (yei). No PCOS was detected (yei) My GP sent me to an endocrinologist, who, after a number of tests, put me on bromocriptine.

The good news is that four weeks after I started the bromocriptine, I had a period. On day six of my cycle, I started testing for ovulation again. When, by day 15th, I did not get a positive LH surge, I felt like I was loosing hope for the first time. I had sex with my husband on day 19th (for pleasure, really, not with the expectation of conceiving) On day 20, I detected an LH surge, (and it made me almost as happy as if I was told I was pregnant!), but it was gone the next day. It left me wondering whether it was a false positive. We had sex on day 20 too.

It is day 29 today. I wonder whether I am pregnant or not. I don't feel pregnant. But I want to....

This is the first time I have explained all of this to anybody. I have told a couple of very good friends, but they leave far away and we only talk occasionally. I only allowed my husband to tell his family we were ttc after I had been diagnosed, and asked him not to do it in front of me. I have not told my family anything. I just don't want people to feel sorry for me. I read this blog every morning, and have done so for about 6 months. It helps.

Oh, Dear. I will stop now. If you have made it to this point, thank you for reading.

11 Replies

  • This is a very brave and interesting blog, thank you :-) I hope it has helped you to put everything down on paper (well y'know, keyboard).

    It took us 17 months to conceive our second (different circumstances to you) and I remember month 12 feeling like a real 'milestone'. It sounds to me like you are surrounded by good professional people and the wheels are in motion, so don't give up hope - if there's one thing that's clear from the ladies who post on this site it's that there really are such things as 'miracle babies'.

    Keep going, I hope it doesn't become too chore-y, I found myself becoming a bit too obsessed with ovulation tests and charts and all the rest. I wish you lots and lots of luck :-)

  • I know it gets to you after a while, thanks for sharing. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and ttc for 6 years, we were actually on the list to adopt when our miracle baby happened. Don't beat yourself up every month, this is a journey and you are taking positive steps forward, good luck! I would say start talking now about other options ivf, adoption with your partner, the reason being in your mind this will show there are other routes forward. I do wish you and your partner all the best, and good luck.

  • It took us nearly 2 years to conceive, I had lots of tests and a couple of operations to check fertility too but we fell pregnant whilst taking the fertility drug clomid, the arrival of our monthly visitor has to be one of the most demoralising things ever, especially when everyone around you seems to get pregnant with no problems or by accident. Sadly we lost the baby at 13 weeks but I got pregnant again pretty quickly afterwards which was a surprise and he is due any day now. I think we spend so much time trying not to get pregnant in younger life that he body needs time to get back into a 'normal' routine. Please do not give up hope, it can be such a tough process emotionally but there is so much that can be done to help now and I now know so many people who have been through similar situations. Good luck and I really do hope you get good news soon. Xx

  • Hi, what a journey!

    This is my feelings on ttc - We prevent a pregnancy till we think the time is right ( scared that missing that 1 pill could result in an unplanned pregnancy ), thinking like all our friends and family it will happen in a month or 2 ! And it's quite upsetting and all consuming when it doesn't happen like that . I was in my mid 20's when I started trying for my now 3yo son and it took a little longer than expected (9 months ) but as u say didn't get to that all important 12month mile stone , still a lot of doubting and wondering for that 9 months . as I had been on the pill for around 10 yrs pretty much solid I told myself it was just taking its time to get out of my system and my body find its own rythem as I went on it at 16 and everyone's hormones are all over the place at that age !

    Even after a traumatic labour and emergency c section I was pretty sure that I would like another child so decided to go for none hormonal contraceptive after having him and had a coil, thinking that it would b giving my body the best chance of regulating itself and that this time when I decided that I would like another try it would happen right away ! Very wrong of me ! ! !

    After 12 months of trying nothing! So actually went through my calender and counted the days between where id marked down my periods and realised they were rarely getting to 21 Days apart ( the min class of a normal cycle ) and as little as 16 days apart! I went to my doc with this info and was told I would not have been ovulating on them cycles : ( they did blood test and my hormone levels apparently we're ok but I was anemic ( from loosing blood so often ) and was put on iron tablets to correct this. Then the bomb shell to regulate me she prescribed ' the pill ' for 6 months! I came out crying but decided to bite the bullet and started taking the pill and even though I hated it it easy actually nice to have a break of thinking I could b pregnant, after 3 months I decided I could no longer prevent the thing I most wanted and so looked in to herbal alternatives to regulate a women's cycle that would incourage and not prevent it so decided to try that! 6 months later my cycles were a lot more regular and increased to a 28 /30 day cycle yay! I then started to think I should check to c if I was actually ovulating so got the tests and the 1st time I checked it got a + but not the next month.

    Then we were told at work it was closing and although they were trying to find alternatives it was possible redundancy ! After nearly 10 years there. So I stopped actively trying, taking my herbs, folic acid, ov tests but also thinking it hadn't happens in so long that I wouldn't prevent it either! Well 1 month later I was told no suitable alternative could b found and I wax indeed be made redundant ! 3 days later I got + pregnancy test ! Wow What a rollercoaster of emotions I can tell u. This was in December so xmas ( the busiest time of year ) no job as of Jan, a 3 yo, mortgage, bills and a very much wanted but badly timed pregnancy ! Crazy times... Luckyly I managed to secure my own job directly with the manager of another shop at the same company so I kept all my service and benefits . I had awfull morning sickness from 7 - 16 weeks and suffered migraines for the 1st time ever while starting my new job , knowing I was pregnant but not wanting anyone to know just incase my job wasn't safe ,I told them at 14 weeks as I was starting to show and they were really nice about it.

    I'm currently 24 + 5 weeks with a baby girl! So 1 year 11 months was well worth the wait

    Don't give up hope ur doc seems to b really good and supportive , I'm sure I will b seeing one Blog from u pregnant in the near future : ) then the real worry starts ! ha ha .

    Sorry for my essay just letting u know ur not alone . Good luck.

  • Don't give up hope with your plans to have your own baby it will happen. What is the time scale with ttc to be offered IVF?

    My friend was trying for 6 years to conceive and then went for the ivf treatment but they found out they were already expecting a baby before the treatment started.

    When you want something so bad and it is so out of your control it just makes it even harder to talk about. Good luck:-)

  • Most places its a year trying and then investigations start, but that was 8 months to identify the issue for us. We decided against ivf, as at that time , in our area, I was 6 months too old to be offered it, but I think its changed, and private was too expensive.

  • Hi, it sounds like the meds are doing their job just gotta see if it worked this month..if not then there is more chance next month as the drug gets into your system more....I tried for a year in my early 20's but nothing so went tot the drs as my period was going on for too long..I'd bleed for up to 18 days then have a 2 week break and start bleeding again..it was only brown discharge after my heavy period but it just dragged on, I had been diagnosed with pcos and the dr said first to try some progesterone tablets to see if it stopped the bleedin I then should have a normal period and hopefully regulate....I had my normal period then no brown discharge but a week later the brown discharge started so disappointed as thought it hadn't worked but then noticed my boobs were bigger and sore so took a test and it was positive although I continued to bleed for 3 months my daughter was fine...so try to not be so stressed about it.....easy to say I know, but that really doesn't help can't you book a long wkd break with your other half to just chill and forget about normal life? I wish you all the best and hope to hear some good news soon...:) x

  • I really feel for you. It takes different people different length of time to conceive so if you are trying to compare notes with those that were so lucky to come off the pill and first time they had sex it all happened, then it can be very soul destroying and you feel like you have a problem. The key thing is not to get too worried and stressed about it and not to rush and hopefully the nature will work eventually. My friend who studied a medical school told me a little trick how to work out your ovulation days without needing to go and buy all those expensive test and have your sex life governed by those which takes away the spontanuity of the sex and becomes a chore. you then feel like you have to do it even when you dont feel like it and that is when it can start stressing you. Many of my friends who had a problem with conceiving (some of them tried several years) were very stressed from such routines and ended up going the IVF route and once they all relaxed they actually conceived naturally. I was also very worried that there was something wrong with me when after six months of trying there was still no news to tell. We tried around the same time as you and only stroke lucky in January just as we came back home from a wonderful holiday chilled out and relaxed. I was going to start to work out my best conception days from the New Year as advised by my friend and in the end I didnt need to. However, working it out, it proves that my friend was right. That you only need to have sex about three times a month in one week to conceive. It is usually 10-14 days since the start of your period and you should also not have sex on consecutive days as the sperm would not be as good as if you do it every other day that week. This may of course not work for you due to your medical situation but I am sure that if you give it a little longer and not stress about it, it will eventually happen. good luck, I will be thinking of you. Please let us know if you get any news. x

    PS: it is true, we try so hard not to fall pregnant for most of our adult lives and then when we are ready it doesnt always work that quickly. It took me six months to get my period back after I came off the pill and even then it was very irregular.

  • Ovulating later than day 14 is common. I ovulate very late in my cycle. Anything from day 17 to 21 and its never the same twice! I found that by using the testing sticks I was able to identify a correlation between ovulation and sharp pains on either the left or the right of my lower abdomen, so after a few months I could tell I was ovulating without the tests. It took us 5 months the first time I fell pregnant but I miscarried. It then took almost a year to conceive again. I am currently 7 + 4 and very nervous in case I miscarry again. With both pregnancies I have had a positive result 11 days after sex. I used clearblue digital. They are excellent! Good luck x x

  • I have Pcos and no periods for over seven years! I took drastic action, to beat the condition, I'm now 34 weeks pregnant and conceived naturally.

    If you have Pcos ovulation tests are simply a waste of money as your hormonal surges ate different from someone that dies not have the condition.

    Ask to be tested for insulin resistance, this is the underlying cause of Pcos and infertility.

    Loose any excess weight and get really fit

    You need to take a high dose of b12, omega 3 and baby asprin (75mg)

    Along with other things I did, it meant after seven years I fell pregnant in 2010 but miscarried, and now seven weeks to go till I meet my little boy.

    Don't give up, research was what helped me understand the female body and how everything is interlinked.

  • Hi, again everybody. Thank you very much for the words of encouragement. It gives me hope to hear about people in a similar situation that have managed to overcome their own challenges.

    My husband came across the post yesterday by accident and read all of your comments too. I think it has also helped him to see other people in a similar situation.


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