All aboard the Squiggly train... destination... outside!

As usual my partners snores resonated around the house... keeping me awake in the early hours of Friday morning, usual angry frownings on my part at 2am. Ugh... snore snore boring! Can’t sleep! Usual period pains ensued, they came and went nothing unusual about that. I had made a bet with my partner that she was going to come on the 1st May when i’d been scheduled for an induction, he had bet the 23rd, that day came and went... a chance for me to be on the money! But Squiggly had her own designs...

About 3.30am those period pains seemed to gnaw a bit more... hmmm... i started to pay more attention, they were as usual consistent pain but had surges that were intense. Braxton hicks? Maybe this was a braxton hicks, i can’t tell!

I went for a wee and wiped and my midwife’s words came into my head “you’ll know when you’ve lost your plug” there, sure as day light, was a bloody show... mucous plugs vary from person to person but mine was bloody and like snot. Well... i guess it didn’t mean anything was happening, some lose their plugs and it’s weeks before labour or days. Period pains weren’t going though and i found myself leaning against the wall swaying my hips... i felt like a nut but compelled. Forget sitting down... yowch... laying down... no way jose... i called triage... apparently this was early labour which may take hours or days... so no induction and a lost bet but instead Squiggly count down had begun...

I had not attended any ante natal classes, I didn’t think i needed it. i trusted my instincts, stayed upright listened to music, swayed my hips and had snacks of dried fruits, then at the worst possible time while gnawing dried pineapple a filling came out of my toothy peg :) no time to fret about a tooth so drank water and breathed through the pain. i had a contractions monitor app so kept an eye on things. i was really scared that i’d find the pain too much go to hospital find i was 1cm or worse find out i was 0cm and have to go all the way home which I knew I couldn’t stand! i was staying put till i reached a plateau of pain. I panted and deep breathed... my partner put on a movie (the hobbit) which I watched and after another visit to the loo I discovered even more plug coming out! The pain was getting worse... eek! Contractions about 4 mins apart. I spent a lot of the early labour (apart from the film watching) on my own. I tried to lay down, see if I could sleep but no chance, no chance at all. I self massaged my back... big mistake for me... it made my lower back hurt like nothing else so I called the triage again saying I couldn’t manage the pain any more, was about 5pm, paracetamol and codeine were not touching the pain... they said come in.

I could hardly sit in that car... oh boy oh boy no WAY! It was the longest journey (it wasn’t really but felt like it!) the whole time these waves of incredible sensations. I wasn’t screaming but it was certainly hard to manage.

The labour ward assessed me and I was over 3 cm dilated... I could be kept in but... no room for me... no pain relief and nothing for the insane nausea... so into the waiting room... eek... no privacy... no midwife available either after my initial assessment.

The plan was:

Labour alone

Any pain relief I felt I needed I would have

Partner to wait in the waiting room

I cut the cord

BUT as there was no room my man was with me in the waiting room. Holding my hand, giving me sips of water... no pain relief allowed... just to have a bath. It helped but it was getting excruciating... I couldn’t hardly stand up, hardly walk... from the bath room to labour room took forever but was so close. After being examined I was told 8cm.

Finally gas and air! Was fun for 10 mins but was utterly useless after, an ice lolly would have had more effect... I thought i would have been spaced out half way to la la land but seriously... weak as water.

Ha! The midwife said the transition phase was the worst bit. Really? REALLY??? L I E S!!! Lol! i believed her too. She said if i felt the urge to push then push... yeah... right... but i had NO urge to push! I pushed when told. My waters didn’t break without assistance but it was quite the sensation... so much liquid!

I’ll be honest... I found the pushing part the most distressing disheartening experience i’ve ever had. I freaked out... the not screaming wish i had... out the window. i felt like any pushing i did had no effect. “Why won’t someone help me?” “i can’t do it!!!” “i’m doing all i can and i’m failing... i’m doing it wrong... help ME!” That’s what I was screaming... this is why i didn’t want my man there to bare witness of me freaking out or being that distressed, losing my ability to be positive and being so vulnerable. i knew he didn’t know what to do to help but to his credit he was very helpful, loving and supportive.

I wanted an active birth... desperate for that or a water birth... i could do neither. My body was in no position to be active. I was on all fours doing hip sways most of the way through then much to my surprise delivery was done laid on my back. I say, delivering the head sure did STING! I can confirm that at least in my case as soon as she was in my arms the memory of those pains, the panic and stress of pushing dissipated straight away, in its place LOVE!

Squiggly born 00.43 27th April 2013, 8lbs 4oz, 7 hours of active labour, entonox used, I cut the cord.

I now have a Squiggly in my life, here in my arms, forcing me to type with one hand. I have felt nothing but love for her from inside me to her entry outside my tummy. The chance to raise a child is here. My fiance has been great during the delivery and beyond, I am part of a family! Would I do this again for a second baby? YES! :)

Thank you all on NCT for your support from the very beginning of my pregnancy at week 4 all the way through. Special thanks to Skyblueboston, DrFluffy and alleymo for personal messages and to all those who shared their expertise and opinions in answer to my many many questions, worries and fears. I would have been lost without the support of all of you.

Good luck to all who are starting their journeys, those trying to conceive and good luck to those preparing for birth. Remember no two pregnancies are the same and another persons experience may have no bearing on what you will experience. Enjoy your unique path through pregnancy. Embrace the support from the wonderful online community available to you.

With genuine love and appreciation,





23 Replies

  • Congratulations on the safe arrival of your little bundle of joy :) xx

  • congratulations on the birth of your daughter, hope she brings you and your family a lot of joy. do u have any names for her? xx

  • congratulations xx enjoy all the times ahead. my lb will be 4 weeks on Thursday and growing rapidly.

  • Congratulations! Now the fun really starts ;-)

    Enjoy every second x

  • Yesssssssssa woohooooooo, SQuiggly is here:) I'm sooooo excited for you both xxxxxx

    Wow you sound like you coped amazingly, I hope I'm as good as you xxxx

    I bet it's amazing being a mum, you have made me feel so happy, you are truly brilliant and I have loved chatting to you and will never forget our conversations they have meant sooooo much to me xxxx

    Well done mummy and daddy enjoy your lovely little girl and bring a wonderful family.

    Lots of love


  • ahh what a lovely blog made me laugh and get all teary eyed...big congratulations! have you a name for squiggly? the most amazing feeling keep looking at your baby isnt it all the best glad your all ok xx

  • Congratulations and welcome to the world Squiggly. what a fantastic story. And well done for coping so well.

    enjoy the time with your precious baby. xxx

  • congratulations lovely to read, brought a tear to my eye

    x x x

  • Woooo congratulations!xxx

  • Yay!! I thought your forum absence may mean an imminent announcement!!! So please for you all :-). CONGRATS!! Xxx

  • What a fantastic labour, you did us proud lovely lady :-) 8lb 4oz ouch! Lol I'm so glad she finally arrived safely into the world. Well done on no pain relief until 8cm a pure trooper.. Massive congratulations to you and fiancé ... We are all here for any additional support too. And a big thank you for your kind comments help and Guidance throughout my pregnancy I've a few weeks to wait yet until I get to meet my imminent arrival. Take care Hunni. Xx

  • Ah congratulations to you both, sounds like you did amazing xx

  • Ahhhhh Congratulations, I am so pleased for you, just read this blog in train home and brought a tear to my eye the minute I read the Squiggly born bit :) seems we have all been waiting for that moment!

    Very very happy, your'll make a brilliant Mum.

    Your blog sounded like you were saying goodbye, if that's the case I wish you all the best with your previous little Bundle...Does Squggly have a name? XxxX

  • Sorry for the typos! Precious and Squiggly! Xxx

  • How amazing.. you did sooo well :) Congrats Mummy and Daddy :) take care and enjoy xxx

  • Congratulations to you and your family. And happy birthday to Squiggly- another birthday twin for me! Lol x

  • Congratulations! I've always enjoyed reading squigglys progress!! So glad you two are safe and well! Xx

  • Congratulations to you three! You did really well, Kaleidoscope! Now enjoy this first time with your little Squiggly, and if you don't mind, let us know how she's doing from time to time :)

    All the best! xxx

  • Welcome to the world Squiggly! Well done Mummy! :) I'm sooo very pleased for all three of you! And I'd like to thank you for all of your support advice and humour, throughout my pregnancy. And please don't stop posting <3 :) xxxxx

  • Congrats, so please for u.

  • Congratulations Kaleidoscope! I knew that birth was imminent and had been wondering how you were going ... Despite the fact that you thought you were 'doing it wrong', it sounds like you managed amazingly! Doing a first birth without an epidural is very brave indeed. Now you get to enjoy your prize :) I am 34 weeks tomorrow and can't wait! xx

  • Yours was the last blog i read before going off virtual life, and now after 10 days when I am back yours was the first news I wanted to know and I so happy for you that finally you have your baby girl in your arms. Welcome to the world little one :)

  • Yours was the last blog i read before going off virtual life, and now after 10 days when I am back yours was the first news I wanted to know and I so happy for you that finally you have your baby girl in your arms. Welcome to the world little one :)

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