How can people be so inconsiderate?! Rant required

Since I am now 33 weeks and have recently started feeling faint when travelling on the train (mainly in the morning), I have started wearing a 'Baby on Board' badge, and have been shocked by the total lack of impact that it (together with my massive bump) has. It's been about two weeks and only one person has proactively offered me their seat during this time. Has anyone else experienced this, or is it only me who travels to and from work with a bunch of miserable b*stards?! Earlier this week, after I had travelled two stops standing up, a guy got up and smiled and gestured to me as he was doing so, so I thought: ah, he's just noticed me, and now he's giving me his seat. But in fact, he was getting off the train! So, by gesturing, he was just saying: "I no longer need this chair, so you may have it. I am offering it to you over the other passengers." Ridiculous!

Then, this morning things hit an all time low. I only just managed to get on to the train at all, it was so packed, and realised after we got to the first stop that I was going to faint if I didn't sit down. So, once I managed to get away from the door area to an actual carriage, I asked politely "Would anyone mind if I sat down?" The response was astounding. The 10 or so people in the immediate vicinity (mostly women) all sullenly looked down, and made no attempt at all to get up, or to give any explanation as to why they couldn't. Finally, (after what felt like a minute or so) the guy who was closest to me, who they had all started to stare at, eventually got up, notwithstanding that he was the least best placed to do so, since he had a laptop on his knee. I felt like saying to the women who I ended up sitting opposite: "You wait 'til you get pregnant!!"

Seriously, it's one thing not to proactively offer a seat to a pregnant woman, but quite another to refuse to budge once she is in so much discomfort she is forced to ask for one! I received the kind of looks people give when someone is trying to get on to an already packed carriage and asks "Can everyone move down?"!!

12 Replies

  • i wouldnt be able to control my anger with them. im sorry, how rude can some people be. i also suffer with fainting, but dont travel by public transport.

    if people had the audasity to stare at the floor after i had asked them for a seat and not offered then i would of said, consequences are more serious than your actions when you need to provide support for me when i collapse!!!! in my words it grips my sh*t, people who dont seem to care!!!

    i fainted when i was walking out a Greggs once. dropped my food everywhere. and lucky for me the one person walking past let go of his dog on the lead and rushed to help me off the floor. others just stepped over me. its horrible. and i cried my eyes out because i was ashamed. xx

  • RANT AWAY...I wear a badge as my bump not so obvious in my uniform @ 20 wks and on some of the trains I am they have 'Priority Seats' for us ladies, women with children, elderly & disabled.

    Maybe shout, I'm gonna faint, i need to sit down NOW cause that's rather that or hear the Tannoy from the driver of, 'train delayed person taken ill' how do you like them apples!! It's so hot at the moment too you need to sit down and relax, drink water etc IDIOTS!!!

    How many more weeks you got until you can turn your back in the commute?? XxX

  • Welcome to my world! I hate the Central Line at rush hour - no one gives a crap, and certsainly a 'Baby on Board' badge had littke impact! I've taken to heading in 45 minutes earlier as I can't cope with it any more: the tube is less crowded and someone always gives up their seat - clearly a different class of commuter early on in the day!!!

  • Thanks for the support, ladies. Sorry to hear that you fainted outside Greggs, laurah123 - that sounds awful. At least there was one decent chap there to help, or you would have given up hope in the human race ...

    Unfortunately, all the priority seats on my trains just refer to the disabled, and not to pregnant women specifically, and the passengers seem to be taking it literally! Only 3 more weeks of work, thank goodness, and it can't come quickly enough. Still, it bugs me that I should have to struggle like this in the interim. Where are all the people doing 'Good Deeds' that you read about in that 'Metro' column?? xxx

  • Arseholes is all I can say....I was heavily pregnant with a small toddler a few years back and not one person offered.... so bad how the human race had changed everyone for themselvesvery sad :(

  • I once got on the bus and this woman put her SHOPPING on the seat and the bus was packed seat wise so I was the only one standing.. I was 8 months pregnant in a tight top. The bus driver realised and stopped the bus to say he weren't going anywhere unless someone let me have their seat and guess what, a lot of the people got OFF the bus..

    Then later that day I collapsed in a shopping centre and nicely enough people formed a barrier around me (I was with my mum and a lot of them where her friends & co workers) and someone pushed through and walked over both my legs resulting in ambulence being called as I couldn't stand up. The guy who did it got a hearing too from my mum and I heard him say no one deserves special treatment..

    On the other hand I have met some lovely people who have helped me and given me a seat, it was just that one day where everything felt awful! And don't trains have the stickers for those less able to stand? If so, I'd walk up to those seats and tell them they need too move as you're heavly pregnant xxx

  • Wow - that's unbelievable about that bus ride!! And about the guy making comments about no-one deserving special treatment. I'd like to see how he responded if someone did that to his wife or girlfrend! Shocking. I know there are some considerate people around (the Metro refers to people handing in people's phones etc all the time), but I just don't seem to be encountering many at present! This morning it was no better. Got a train half an hour earlier to see if it made any difference, and there were no seats and no-one got up, despite the fact that I was standing in a way that made my bump evident to all. Then, after one stop, a seat opened up, and the 18 or so year old girl who had been standing next to me, promptly sat down in it! I mean, come on guys! Luckily, since it wasn't as hot today, I didn't feel faint, so standing wasn't a problem xx

  • People are bastards. The fact that most women didn't even move appauls me from one mother to another I know how it feels and would offer me seat any pregnant women. Those women pregnant before or not one day I hope they recieve the same treatment. It's a tough ride for us after a certain point and carrying our bumps is very hard work. Shame on those people. When I recently visited manchester the guy who drives the terminal bus to the car rental was fantastic I had two children age 6 and 4 and two cases to haul. He made everyone wait until he got my stuff off first and then waited with my kids and cases so I could go get a trolley across the road, he's even loaded them up . Turned off the bus engine and helped me to the doors of the terminal for my return flight. Restored a little faith. And a big thank you to him x

  • It's a shame our culture is moving in this direction. I travelled to Argentina with my 9 month old daughter a few years ago and couldn't believe how helpful people were. The first thing was a separate queue at customs and immigration at the airport - if you're pregnant they usher you through the special quick queue for cabin crew, there's even a pregnant lady sign above it, but it seemed to work just because I was carrying a small baby. In buenos aires I was standing in a queue in a pharmacy with her in the buggy and the security guard brought me to the head of the queue and sent me straight to the next cashier. Can you imagine doing that in Boots, there would be a riot. People were so friendly just because we had a baby, she was like the hotel mascot by the end of our week there.

  • This happens here in the Middle East I'm in dubai and they staff at airport banks etc are fantastic can't speak more highly for people here. I think as a born uk resident the uk and some parts of Europe have grown a stubborn attitude towards being polite. And I think mainly it comes from the way you are brought up and I will bring my children up to respect care and have manners for each individual person. There was recently a poll on this morning on manners and teaching children at school, I was shocked that most people commented to say yes it should be down to teachers. Eh no I'm sorry but as the main career or parent its up to us to teach these things and just from this poll I seen how much the uk has changed after three years living away would I go back , only to see my family is the answer x

  • rant away!!

    the tube is the worst place if you are looking for empathy, in most times no one cares, regardless of badge and/or size of your bump.

    I used the district line while I was 20 wk in my first pregnancy to go to work 5 days a wk and no one really moved to give me a seat, so I decided not to wait. I would just go for the designated "mother seat" ask him/her to move. simple. I am not going to risk my health because some people cant be bothered!

    just move them, is your right.

  • A lady got so p**sed off with this in Manchester, that she wrote to the Metrolink. They have now labelled in pictures and words the priority seating for pregnant women as well as those less able for other reasons. Still have to ask healthy-looking passengers located in that seat if they have a problem standing whilst pointing to the sign in around half the journeys. I have been ignored once, wherein another passenger offered me her seat. She looked like she was in her late 50s. Think we should begin to ask for a government sponsored public awareness campaign. Don't know about anyone else, but being more vulnerable adds to the difficulty of asking for the seat. Sometimes I want to cry about it, right there in public!

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