You will not believe this...: Today my ex... - My MSAA Community

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You will not believe this...

Amore55 profile image
42 Replies

Today my ex and I drove to the hospice where Jonnie is. We were in my new car, which I just bought this week. MY car, MY credit, MY payments. He says out of the blue, “You sure have a cushy life, Kelly”! I was appalled. I said how can you even think such a thing, yet alone speak it? I reminded him that I have pain off the scale ALL the time, I struggle to use eating utensils and can barely write anymore, but I have a cushy life. I told him that in less than one second I would gladly drop ms from my life, return to my career and get off disability. He said, “I wonder”. I thought I knew this man I loved for 20 years, but he is now a mystery to me. Can you believe it? Love to all, Kelly xx

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Amore55 profile image
Amore55
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42 Replies
dailygrump40 profile image
dailygrump40

He needs his ass kicked. Not just kicked but pummeled by someone when they hear him speaking like that to anyone with a disability not of their making. Any disease like MS, some cancers.

Amore55 profile image
Amore55 in reply to dailygrump40

dailygrump40 oh my gosh! I just LOVE your comment! Thank you for making me feel defended. I cannot tolerate anyone belittling someone, and to have this man who was once so kind to me say that just infuriated me. I hope you are well. Much love, Kelly xx

dailygrump40 profile image
dailygrump40 in reply to Amore55

I'm glad you liked my comment. It gets to me when I hear or see anyone treated like that.

Amore55 profile image
Amore55 in reply to dailygrump40

dailygrump40 I highly doubt that you are really a daily grump. You are much too kind! Do you live somewhere close to seagulls, since that is your picture?

dailygrump40 profile image
dailygrump40 in reply to Amore55

No I don't. I live in S. Central Pa but when I was younger, much younger. I rode in the truck with my parents to the pier (Dundock) in Baltimore, MD and the seagulls down there were nasty things. I gotta change that picture. Maybe they're not like that everywhere.

Jesuslover69 profile image
Jesuslover69 in reply to dailygrump40

I live in New Jersey and the sea gulls are nasty here too.

kdali profile image
kdali

His resentment is his problem, you’ve got so much on your plate right now! Yes, I can! I’ve seen the story before, they decide they are done, so they need to turn you into something useless and awful to massage their guilt with or validate their anger/disappointment.

Lots of love to you! I hope you had a meaningful visit with Jonnie today 😘

Amore55 profile image
Amore55 in reply to kdali

kdali it is so strange. He wanted the divorce, now I am moving forward with my life and he is angry. He even said he was jealous that I got a new vehicle on my own. I sense he realizes he may have made a mistake that could never be undone.

I had a marvelous, funny visit with Jonnie. She continues to amaze us all. 😆 Sending live to your family, Kelly xx

kdali profile image
kdali in reply to Amore55

Of course he’s jealous and angry, and his new, albeit unexpected, emotions suit him well. He had so many chances not to do it, before he showed what he really thought of you and your MS, and I’m glad you say “could never be undone”. Good for you! 👏👏👏 It’s a shame he never saw your strength. I can only see you though our chats, but I find your strength admirable and inspiring.

Aww, wonderful! 😍 I hope you both share laughs right up until her last breath. Ty! 🤗🤗🤗

Amore55 profile image
Amore55 in reply to kdali

kdali I feel that I must say that he has always said that I am the most intelligent, strong person he ever met. But he obviously has forgotten that!🤪 For awhile if he’d wanted to try again, I would have, but no more!! Too many unkind things have been said. Time for a fresh start.

I, too, pray that we will laugh til the end. What a fighter she is. Love, Kelly

kdali profile image
kdali in reply to Amore55

You deserve that much!

🤗😘💐

Royjr profile image
Royjr

Don’t let this stupidity get to you, you’re bigger and better to waste your time worrying about this

Amore55 profile image
Amore55 in reply to Royjr

Royjr thank you for your advice. As always, you offer wise words. I will let it go, because life is too short and precious to waste on pettiness. Lots of love, Kelly xx

jimeka profile image
jimeka

Good to hear Jonnie is doing as well as she can and being able to still show humour. How is Jacqui doing? Blessings Jimeka 🦋 🤗

RoyceNewton profile image
RoyceNewton

Hmm I really am not trying to be an arsehole, but seriously Yes it is a cushy life and you are an ex so what you think really does not matter.

For us, there is usually a reason why our former spouses are former. An excellent example, maybe he and my x could get together. No, maybe that is too cruel.

Jazzihorsecat profile image
Jazzihorsecat

Love Ya Kelley! You are Strong, & Sweet, just brush him off, & i don't do halloween, but just for you, I found the bestest costume ever! It's a metal trashcan w/ aliitle bit of paper trash in it, & the Meme says, "Guess what I Am?" I am dressing up my X-For halloween!" LOL!😀😃😄👍💪😻💗FUNNY 1, cracked me up, & I thought of ya w/ that one!!🌺🌷🌸🍁❤💖💕💓💗Love Ya sweety!--Jazzy🌹💜

ssdw1958 profile image
ssdw1958

Kelly stick to your guns and don’t let him get to you.

erash profile image
erash

The important thing is that u were able to visit and had a good visit with jonnie. Did u need him to get there?

Amore55 profile image
Amore55 in reply to erash

erash he has been a dear friend to Jonnie for years and she has been asking for him, so we decided to just go together. Most of the time this would not be a problem. But at least I got to spend time with her, good quality time. She needed help with her dentures and I am the only one she will let do this for her! 🤩

Essaad profile image
Essaad

Me personally ,I don't care any more about what some people says about my MS or disability . I'm the one who is struggling with it and fighting so hard to be successful and happy in my life. MS wasn't a choice

Iona60 profile image
Iona60

As he reveals his true self, may you become stronger in your determination in what you have to do FOR YOU.

Jesmcd2 profile image
Jesmcd2CommunityAmbassador

Do I really need to comment to on this? I would have pulled over and told him to get out and FO! ☺️ Kelly my Amore55 he is nothing but a bitter little man. I hope you see that now! Believe In Yourself! I do! 🤗💕

J🌠

hairbrain4 profile image
hairbrain4 in reply to Jesmcd2

That is exactly what I was thinking as I read (Amore55)Kelly's post. He didn't deserve to sit in the car let alone ride in it with that attitude. When I hear people talk like that I want to wrap rubber bands on each finger & toe really tight so that they go numb & then add 20 to 25 lb. weights on each arm & leg. Also, add steel wool to the inside of their clothing. Give them shoes that are a size or two too small. Tie a rope to both ankles so they can't walk with a full stride or lift their leg high enough to get up or downstairs. Then tell them to try this for just 24 hours then say its a cushy life! If they complain tell them that it's just a small fraction of what its like to have MS. I know it's not very nice to think that way & wish pain & agony on others, but It r-e-a-l-l-y makes me mad when people that know better act like that.

Kelly, you had every right to feel angry & hurt by what he said to you. Just don't let it measure who you are. The fact that you are still going on with life is probably why he said that. People with disabilities are usually stronger than those that don't. You might remind him that he should be thankful that he can speak and should use that gift in a more positive manner.

carolek572 profile image
carolek572CommunityAmbassador

Kelly,

You are a very strong woman because I am not sure that I would have allowed 'him' to get anywhere near me ~ especially after a divorce. But you are not me. Perhaps he was saying that you are in a much better place without him.

I am happy to hear that Jonnie is as comfortable as she can be and that you are keeping her company. Again, she is blessed to have a friend like you.

Stay Strong,

Carole

cassielynn71 profile image
cassielynn71

Jealous.....Delusionally jealous. Sad that somebody who was once so close never really understood the chronic illness, and everything that goes with it, that a loved one was enduring. If he had made even the slightest effort he never would've entertained the idea of making such a comment. I'm sorry you had to deal with that Kelly.

bavery207 profile image
bavery207

Amore55 When I read this my first thought was "what a jerk he is being"! Then my mind became incoherent and all I could do is sputter and think bad thoughts. It sounds like you are getting on with your life and I wonder if he is????

Amore55 profile image
Amore55 in reply to bavery207

I think you nailed it! I truly believe he thought I would be all helpless and lost. Instead I have grabbed hold of a new life and am moving forward and he is not. Love, Kelly xx

carolek572 profile image
carolek572CommunityAmbassador in reply to Amore55

And you, my dear, are an 'ms' WARRIOR! And an awesome inspiration ~ to me! Sending you virtual hugs, and real prayers! :-D

SueAB profile image
SueAB

What a jerk! You are so much better without him!

Ratsue profile image
Ratsue

He doesn't have MS, therefore does not have a clue. If he cannot be supportive, kick him to the curb. After all, he is your "ex" for a reason, right?

stepsforNeeC profile image
stepsforNeeC

Hi Kelly, I'm embracing you today! We're sisters connected for what the rest of sometimes this insensitive population doesn't understand; MS! I despise the comment "you don't look sick" because I'm still ambulatory (Praise God).... or " you don't feel good when I did. Just a month ago I talked this; entitled "When People Don't Know What to Say" and received so much love from my family here. Be strong in you and address situations that will keep you healthy and happy. For me ( not necessarily you) BVP's that's Bad Vibe People get less of my time. Enjoy your beautiful New Car and continue joy to you. I deal with pain constantly too, was happy to reach not needing infusions 2 yrs. straight compared to my old record breaker every 6 - 9 mos, but can't jump over the pain hurdle. Yeah, he's jealous and a hater! Dionne Warwick him....."Walk on by" No hide!

Love and Blessings

NeeC

kycmary profile image
kycmary

Kelly are you sure that's your ex cause he sounds a whole lot like my ex & I haven't thought of him in over 45 yrs. until I read your post! Mary

BigMar7 profile image
BigMar7

When I read your post my first thought was no wonder the jerk is an ex! Wow, I am happy you are doing so well on your own. (Except for the pain we all have) you are so much better without him! 😀❤️

greaterexp profile image
greaterexp

This can give you another pat on the back for moving forward. It's obvious that he's still clueless.

Your visit with Jonnie is much more important, as erash pointed out. You are such a wonderful, caring, and compassionate friend!

YLGram profile image
YLGram

and?? you started by saying "my ex"guess your decision was just validated.

guitarguy profile image
guitarguy

You’re not shackled to this guy anymore right? If not you may want to further curtail your time with him. If you are, use a hacksaw on his arm for a permanent separation!

Just amazing!

RoseySawyer profile image
RoseySawyer

Stay strong! 💪 Life's to short to stress over the little things "the EX" ❤🌷

Sukie427 profile image
Sukie427

Sorry, but as my college friend once said, "There are more horses' asses in the world than there are horses." Apparently your ex is one of them. I happen to like guitarguy's solution. The hardware store here is having a sale--do you need one?????

AngieRowe profile image
AngieRowe

Kelly congrats to you👍. Moving on will become easier and easier. And it will become clearer as time goes on that he actually gave you a gift. I think you will find the stress of worrying about how he feels will be freeing. He freed you to become you again. He does now realize that you are a former best friend, and losing your best friend is painful. Sounds like you are moving to the other side of that pain and he is just getting started. Kudos to you. Put one foot in front of keep moving. As you move to seeing and speaking to him less, I think you will find calming and a loss of stress. Your eyes will be more open to how really freed you reallly are and not how much you miss what was before,

rlh1974 profile image
rlh1974

Amore55 I wish I could punch him in the face for you! Some people are just so so ignorant and down right stupid! Just so you know, We are all with you and feel your pain!

Take care and always feel free to come here and yell!

Rob

mrsmike9 profile image
mrsmike9

What an insensitive jerk! I hope you backhanded him! I sure understand why he's your ex. You're too good for him!

pamgarner profile image
pamgarner

he is just jealous,he forgot what a survivor you r.he can't stand you getting along without him ha!

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