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Still strong...no matter what

My husband told me that he is considering a divorce. We have been best friends and such sweethearts for almost twenty years. I simply fell apart. It is not definite or anything, but it hurt so bad. I went around for two days feeling so “less than”. Then I had a neuro appt. yesterday and came out of it thinking how strong a person one must be to tell your doctor that you need to wear Depends ar age 57, that you cannot use silverware very well, or that you have pretty much lost the ability to write. And I realized and told my husband just to remind him that I am still the same woman he always said was the most intelligent person he knew, that it takes more courage to do the things all of us struggle with and win than to just be “normal”. So no matter what happens I am going to look at all of you who keep up the fight and stand proud of who I am, with all my glitches. Love, Kelly xx

24 Replies
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Stay strong Kelly 👊

We r here with and for u 💕

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Oh, Kelly, I am so sorry. Wishing you direction and comfort on the road ahead. And you are right, it does take strength and courage to go through what we do. We are here, as you said, with all of our glitches, too, when you need an ear. I hope you both are able to seek counseling that can help as well.

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Sorry Kelly, I can’t even imagine what you are going through but, you and everyone who lives with a debilitating condition is strong as hell if you get up each morning and keep on going.

My thoughts and my heart are with you. 💔❤️

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Oh Kelly, what a shock. I am so sorry. I pray it does not come to that.

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Oh, Kelly! My husband and I are just like you - high school sweethearts, married 52 years and still best friends. A divorce would be like the other person dying and it would be just as hard for me as living with MS. I just don't know what to say except we all love you here and send good thoughts your way.

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There aren’t words to convey my thoughts and feelings. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.

I’ll keep praying for you and your family to come through this time more dedicated to one another than ever and for God’s strength and comfort along the way.

Will you let us know how you are?

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Sorry to hear about your struggle with MS and your relationship with husband. It is said when people have things happen beyond there control and ruin their life 😢. Maybe some counseling will help him understand how you feel and what you deal with daily 🤷🏼‍♂️. My wife and I have been married for 40 years and she has Chron’s, rheumatoid arthritis, and I have MS, and stage four throat cancer. We both have good and bad days and have minor arguments related to fatigue, pain, insurance problems, but we end the day with I “I Love You “ at night. We have come to the conclusion that when we don’t feel good to excuse our selfs and take a time out. Jody still struggle with turning it over to the Lord and move on One Day at a Time. She has decided to go to a psychologist and see what she can do to help 🤷🏼‍♂️. We are fortunate enough we can sit down and discuss our problems and feelings🙏. Bless you and hope things can be worked out 👍😉🐾 Ken

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Thank you for sharing Kenu....means a lot.

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Be strong hun I really mean that xxxxx ❤❤❤❤❤

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I'm so very sorry Kelly. Stay strong! Maybe some counseling for the both of you will help.

Jessie

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Amore55, because of what you have gone thru in life all together none of us is what we use to be....but the basic recipe is still there.You are stronger, not weaker, more compassionate etc.I received a text the other day..I want my wife back.!....at first i thought negative about myself and than i knew he wasn't the same either.Thinking and doing are 2 different things.Its a two way street on relationships.Be safe....you are a special person as always, maybe he needs reminded that you and he are both special in your own ways...the very best to you....If he is a caregiver than he needs help you cant give.

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What can I say? Been there, done that, it’s not a nice place to be. On the positive side, you have 8 children and 16 grandchildren, blessings in themselves. Maybe your husband is having a hard time coping, he too has lost 5 dogs in 2 years, and with the job he has, it must be very emotionally draining. Maybe he just needs time out. Take the time to talk with each other, not to each other. Write things down which are bothering you both, then write things down that delight you both as a couple, the good will out weigh the bad. You two have shared so much, and loved so much over the years, and you have a very successful family, don’t give up on the two of you. Stay strong, so what if you have to wear depends, some of our best days were spent in nappies, not that I can remember those days very well, 61 years ago now. Lol. Big hug Kelly, we are all with you and you know how to find us all. Blessings Jimeka 🦋 🍫 🤗 🌈

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Jimena I loved your thought about nappies! So very true. And what great advice to do your writing exercise. We do still love each other, but you are right. His job has pushed him to the very edge. Thankfully it looks like there is a new opportunity waiting for him. I am feeling much stronger, knowing that whatever course our life takes the Lord will hold me close. My children are being very supportive. If it comes to a divorce, w

E would sell the house and I would move to southern Utah to live with my daughter, her sweet husband and my two grandsons. They said there is always a place with them. The only concern is that in the summer it gets up to 115 degrees many days! Lots of swimming and air conditioning.😊 Thank you for your good advice, to all of you. Love, Kelly xx

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Keep us posted, you are my 🙏, hugs Jimeka xxx

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To raise eight kids, I know they you are a fighter and can make it through whatever happens. You are in my prayers.

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You are in my 🙏Prayers too Amore, the LORD will see you thru no matter watt!!💐😍😄~~luv ya we're here for ya! U R strong!😁

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So sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunately it happens more than you would think. Sometimes spouses just can't handle the illness. They aren't strong enough to stay and watch their loved one deteriorate. It's really hard to do. I have MS and my husband had heart surgery 6 years ago & during the recovery his colon ruptured & they didn't find it for 4 days. He went septic & almost died. He hasn't been the same since. He now has a tumor on his pancreas the size of an orange that can't be operated on. He is getting weaker & weaker no matter how hard he tries to keep up. It breaks my heart to watch this. But because I know what its like to have your body trying to kill you, I stand by him & have never even entertained the thought of leaving. So its probably not that he doesn't love you anymore, it probably just hurts him more than he can handle. Be strong. Praying for you.

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Amore55 Your husband must have slipped into his own low spot to say those words. Speaking from my own experience, living alone with MS is hard; living with a partner who has MS must be almost as difficult. Each person in the relationship is challenged differently. Would I have enough love, patience, care and empathy to live with me? I am not sure. I hold you and your husband in the light. My heart goes out to you.

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goatgal thank you for your kind words. I have often thought how difficult it would be to live with me and all my symptoms and the rapidity at which they are progressing. By the way, I am so sorry I have not communicated in so long. Life has been a challenge with our loss of dogs, my hubby’s job situation, etc. However, I realize that is when we must draw our friends close. Love, Kelly

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Kelly stand strong I no it’s easier said than done but let’s be serious that’s what we have to do. I also wear poise pads cutting food is not easy for me also but remember if you go out at a restaurant fish is really the easiest thing to cut. Truly. Stand strong. Sandra

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Sorry to hear what you're going through. Perhaps some marriage counseling could help the both of you figure out what the festering issues are and face them. Wishing you the best and keeping in my prayers.

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Amore55 I am so sorry to hear of your possible divorce. My heart goes out to you. Know we are here for you when you need us. You and your family will be in my prayers.

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I wish I had the correct answer for you. He needs to see you when you’re doing good and remember all the good things you two have done together. Every day is a new day for both. Good things are going to happen again. 😊. Stay strong 💪

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Aww, Kelly! I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how much that must hurt. I love your attitude and I believe you could survive anything 😘

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