What can I do about these feeling that randomly just pot up!

I have a 12 year old daughter and probably about 3-4 years ago I stopped walking & stopped driving & then her father & me split up then my best friend started taking her everywhere she needed to go then about a year or so everyone started thinking she was her mother & never told anybody new that she wasn't! There are just some days that I'm extremely MAD about it & others where I just can't stop crying about it! Ugh right now I'm just so mad 😡 I don't know what to do to try & calm down about the whole thing or if anybody can give me anything new to help me not to think about it at all!

10 Replies

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  • It is good that there is someone that could step in and do, what you cannot, for your daughter but why are you letting others think that the friend is her mother? Just because you cannot fill all of the motherly roles does not mean you have to give up. Is her father in the picture, why is he not doing some of the things with his daughter?

    Your daughter might like it if you rode along when the friend takes her places. She may be feeling confused and mad herself. Talk with her before you lose her.

    I do not know the whole story but these are just some thoughts that came to mind after reading your post.

  • Ssdw1958 to txcg152

    Some how you need to let her know how you are feeling. I know it's easy for me to say but with you getting all nervous about it, it's not a good thing. I'm sorry that's all I have good luck.

  • txcg152 lm with you! I would be HOT! and honestly don't blame you for being so upset! Your friend should NEVER have crossed that line of even silently​ agreeing to be her mother! I know you appreciate her help, but you need to put down some ground rules my friend 😊. That being number 1 !

    Then it sounds like your going through a bought of depression and might want to talk to your Dr about it.☺

    Jes🌠

    Ps. Want help burying the body?😉😅😅

  • I Think of the ending is a little extreme maybe later ??

    ssdw1958

  • txcg152 lm with you! I would be HOT! and honestly don't blame you for being so upset! Your friend should NEVER have crossed that line of even silently​ agreeing to be her mother! I know you appreciate her help, but you need to put down some ground rules my friend 😊. That being number 1 !

    Then it sounds like your going through a bought of depression and might want to talk to your Dr about it.☺

    Jes🌠

    Ps. Want help burying the body?😉😅😅

  • I agree that maybe you can become involved going with your daughter and friend. Is there a barrier to going? Can you not walk at all? If you can manage a little walking maybe you could do that on occasion with them.

    It sounds like things have been rough for you with not driving, losing yourarriage, ability to walk. Therapy may be in order as well.

  • ssdw1958

    I I agree if you can't walk maybe you can get a wheelchair I had to get one and it's so much easier you could have your daughter help you with that. It was hard for me to go into a wheelchair but life is a little bit easier.

  • txcg152,

    I'm so sorry about the changes that are grieving you so heavily.

    I would imagine at the age your daughter is that she is very image conscious, doesn't quite know how to handle emotions in a mature way, and doesn't realize how this affects you.

    I hope that you can think of ways of connecting gently with her to assure her that you love her unconditionally and that you want to be there for her. Adolescents tend to center on themselves and still don't see their behavior affecting others.

    Your mobility problems may restrict where you can go with her, but if you can connect with her at home in meaningful ways, she may still want to do lots outside of the home, but will savor the time she has with you as special.

    It saddens me to watch people become angry and hurt, which is understandable, but then become bitter, which only alienates other people. I know you are hurting deeply, but I pray you will find ways of approaching your daughter with as much love and understanding as you can. I'll pray that she can realize how much you love her and that you treasure time with her. It may take some growing up on her part before she realizes what a treasure she has in you.

    Keep us posted on how you're doing.

  • This is the same thing I was thinking. This may be how your daughter is coping with your disease.

    Talk with her and let her know how you feel and see if there are times you can go with your daughter and friend.

  • txcg152 Your post makes my heart ache and I wish there were more I could offer. I think all the advice offered is sound, and you could try to make some of the changes. Remember, you don't have to make all the changes tomorrow. Start with one or two and build from there. The world wasn't created in a day.

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