My story...btw I'm 34 : Hi I want to say... - My MSAA Community

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My story...btw I'm 34

Pbailz profile image
23 Replies

Hi I want to say first of all regardless of how crazy it's gotten God has helped me through it all just like He promised :) I'm a former high school teacher (9yrs) turned bank teller. I was diagnosed with RelapseRemitMS almost 7 years ago , 6 weeks after my only daughter born. At that time i only showed a few mental changes. About 3 years ago, I went manic for 6 months (I am bipolar which we previously assumed was purely MS) resulting in a pregnancy of twin boys which I delivered 2 1/2 years ago who were adopted by an amazing couple. Unfortunately after this delivery I began to have physical difficulties and loss of memory along with other cognitive skills. Although I never anticipated this as a college graduate, I don't know that I want to be anywhere else. Truly, God has been with me through it all just like He promised :)

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Pbailz profile image
Pbailz
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23 Replies
Jesmcd2 profile image
Jesmcd2CommunityAmbassador

Hi Pbailz lm so glad you feel safe enough to share your story. ~hugs~my friend. You have not had it easy, but love your attitude! Are you doing anything for your cognitive skills? I know there are sites that are free, you can play.😁.

As l said lm glad you shared your story, and keep posting and commenting!

And don't forget.... Put an @ in front of the person you're talking to☺

IE @ jesmcd2 *with no spaces*

Jes🌠

Pbailz profile image
Pbailz in reply to Jesmcd2

Jesmcd2 thank you so much for welcoming me here! This is all new to me to be part of a chat group

Jesmcd2 profile image
Jesmcd2CommunityAmbassador in reply to Pbailz

There are many chat forum's and/or rooms Pbailz . But l have to say ours is one of a kind! We support each other here. We might not have had the same symptoms, But We Are in the Same Boat.☺ And odds are someone here has had it,heard of it, or know where to get info on it.

Jes🌠

GasLight profile image
GasLight

Welcome, Pbailz . Thank you for sharing both your medical journey and some of your personal testimony.

It appears that you've already learned the most important truth concerning your disease, i.e., His grace is sufficient for thee, as well.

Blessings,

Christopher

Pbailz profile image
Pbailz in reply to GasLight

GasLight Good morning! Although He's always with us sometimes it's frustrating & I forget. I'm continually reminding myself that His grace truly is sufficient for me regardless of my past! Thank you for that reminder :)

erash profile image
erash

Pbailz you have a good attitude and at least for me that's 90% of the game.

Pregnancy is said to be protective for MS. Maybe that's why u had exacerbations afterwards?

Welcome and I look fwd to chatting with u 😊

Pbailz profile image
Pbailz in reply to erash

Good morning! Yes although pregnancy is protective, post pregnancy is what increases the risk of exacerbation. :( The risk of that is why my husband and I did not intend to be pregnant after my daughter.

This may be more than you wanted to know, but this is the story of mine twins pregnancy. So here goes...it's an addition/details of my story.

Unfortunately being manic, I forgot who I was. I forgot my support. And I abandoned everyone who loves me. During this time I divorced my husband of 9 years & became very promiscuous therefore becoming pregnant. But through it all God was faithful. Although we have not remarried, my husband and I got back together 6 months later. Yes all of this, me leaving getting my own apartment, divorcing, racking up $6000 in credit card debt, and then getting back together happened in 9 months time. It took only six months for me to become pregnant. By the grace of God, I found out really soon so the twins were not affected by the meds I was on. As I said I was promiscuous, but in the final month I was "faithful" to one guy (who also happens to be a twin). I told the guy immediately, but he was less than supportive. Make a long story short I found the adoptive family and the adoptive mother came to every appointment with me until the babies were born. My husband after the divorce had planned on moving to his hometown 1 state away where he has a close-knit extended family. They are the epitome of God's love. Initially my husband and I did not live together, but he was with me and held my hand thru delivery while the adoptive parents were also in the room. 2 months after the baby is born I moved back in with my husband and daughter, and about one year later I started to have symptoms. It started with dragging a leg which only lasted for a week. The next was a about two months later when I literally could not write because my fine motor skills were non-existent in my right hand. Then for the next 6 months I struggled with dragging a leg coming and going. I changed jobs thinking this would help me because I could sit , but it had more cognitive stress. I'm now on long term disability & have an appointment at the beginning of March to test my cognitive ability. The crazy thing to me is only 3 years ago I had MS, but this wasn't what I thought MS was.

Karen-x profile image
Karen-x in reply to Pbailz

Welcome Pbailz and what a story! Isn't it amazing and sometimes quite painful how God gets us back to where he wants us? And what I mean is that God will not always rescue us from our pain in order that we learn. I have been in very similar situations, minus pregnancy and getting back w my Ex.

You will find this group wonderfully accepting and supportive.

Pbailz profile image
Pbailz in reply to Karen-x

Karen-x Yes is soo amazing! It definitely helps me to see verses like "all things work for the good of those who love Him" in a whole new way. Even during this new trusting and forgiving process my husband & I have always clung to the fact that our story & our experience will help someone & bring God the glory in the end. He brought us through for a purpose

erash profile image
erash in reply to Pbailz

Pbailz thank you for sharing your story. I know this will sound weird but as I read, I thought you really are blessed. I'm so sorry for the troubles that you had to endure and hope that all will be smoother sailing for you.

So glad you joined our little chat room. Lots of support here and such a welcoming place!

Pbailz profile image
Pbailz in reply to erash

erash it really does not sound weird to me that you think that I'm blessed. I am very aware of God's grace and mercy and his call upon my life. I don't know where he's leading yet but I know there's a reason I've gone through all of this and still can walk with my head high. There've been plenty of doctors after seeing my MRIs that cannot believe I'm not in a wheelchair. Even my very first time surprise them. 7 years later after going thru a manic episode making risky decisions but still without injury. The greatest blessing of all was the twins & their parents. Even though she doesn't have to, the mother still texts me pictures or videos and one of the boys look exactly like me. We also still get together once a year because it's just as important to them that the boys know me as it is that they know my daughter. Yes I am extremely blessed! Even in the midst of this crazy MS I am blessed.... I'm sorry I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging but I am extremely thankful for where I'm at now

erash profile image
erash in reply to Pbailz

Pbailz definitely doesn't sound like bragging, sounds like you are appreciative and grateful 👍

rlh1974 profile image
rlh1974 in reply to Pbailz

Pbailz Wow, You are a brave soul! Thank you so much for being so open and sharing! That is an amazing story, and you have an amazing man! Sorry to hear all the symptoms and misery that you are physically suffering. Some of us are in the same MS symptom boat. Better and worse. All depends.

Welcome to the best support group you could find! I joined 3 on FB just yesterday, and got off today. They were crazy!!!! I feel safe here and in the matter of just a couple of months have found more friends and support than I could have ever imagined! What is said here stays here. You can always message anyone here and those things always stay private. I have with several, and it is amazing to talk privately with people and make great friends!

Welcome aboard!

Rob

Morllyn profile image
Morllyn

Welcome!

greaterexp profile image
greaterexp

Welcome! Though you've had a rough go, I'm so glad you have your foundation firmly on God's Word and understand how He sustains us.

You've found a group of lovely, encouraging, insightful people here.

Pbailz profile image
Pbailz in reply to greaterexp

greaterexp thank you for welcoming me. It is so wonderful to be with people who are also dependent on God & who truly understand what I'm dealing with and not just feel bad for me...ya know? I truly believe their heart is in the right place sometimes it's frustrating because they really don't understand you know?

Eleyne92 profile image
Eleyne92

Good morning, Pbailz , and welcome. You're right, God is good and with us through all of our struggles. Have a blessed day.

Pbailz profile image
Pbailz

Good morning! Although He's always with us sometimes it's frustrating & I forget. God bless you too!! This is completely new to me bc its the first time I've been a part of one of these groups, but thank you for including me and again God Bless you too!

WAshingtongirl profile image
WAshingtongirl

A warm welcome (and hug) to you Pbailz . Your positive attitude and reliance on our Lord gives you a good footing when it comes to what our dear Fancy1959 calls our fight or standing up to MS. You are also blessed with an exceptional good friend in your ex-husband.

We're all in this together. Our needs and symptoms may be different, but we all need someone else to help us along the way. I'm thankful for my friends here. My prayer is that you find us to be what you need too. 💕

Pbailz profile image
Pbailz in reply to WAshingtongirl

WAshingtongirl thank you for welcoming me. It is so wonderful to be with people who are also dependent on God thru this & who truly understand this is crazy frustrating in addition to being painful at times tiring at times . not just feeling bad for me...ya know? I truly believe their heart is in the right place but sometimes it's frustrating because they really don't understand you know? But obviously I can't say that because it's my husband's family and I could not wish for a more supportive group surrounding me both physically and with prayers.

Royjr profile image
Royjr

Aman!!!

Pbailz profile image
Pbailz

So I'm going to add a little bit to my story

... So I have wondered but never asked how in the world could my husband forgive me. And obviously God did so much in his heart and in my heart and in our relationship but this morning my husband show me a video that he watched during our time apart. I hope you can see this link because it's going thru Facebook. It amazes me because of the ending (real life) story of a husband picking up his wife who's in a wheelchair. It all made sense

m.facebook.com/story.php?st...

rlh1974 profile image
rlh1974 in reply to Pbailz

Pbailz Sounds like your husband took in good times and bad very seriously!!!! You are blessed, and you are right! Without Grace and Mercy we are all nothing! It is humbling to say the least!

Keep in the book, and you too will have the strength and grace of your husband. The fact you went with adoption proves that!

Amazing story!

Thanks again,

Rob

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