To tell children or not about my OCD

[THL1]

Hi

I’ve got 2 daughters in their early 20s.

I tried my utmost to be a good father but I was able to hide my ocd/depression from them when they were younger.

My mental health has deteriorated over the past couple of years but I still try and hide this from my daughters. I feel I’m not fully there for them but don’t want to go into much detail as I don’t want to burden them by worrying about me. They are young and have exciting lives ahead of them. I don’t want to drag them down.

[Blue455]

Kids are smarter then you think, I remember being Really young and my Mom couldn’t stop checking things to get out of the house. I knew even at that age something was wrong. She always loved me unconditionally and never wanted to be a burden. She Never was. I miss her to this day SO Very much. I’m new here so I don’t know if I can give advice,

[THL1 in reply to Blue455]

Thank you Blue455

I suspect you’re right, you can have ocd, they are aware of it yet they know you love them unconditionally

[Sallyskins]

I think it would be best to tell them. It's best to be open about OCD where you can be, and family is the best place to start. Not telling them is likely to leave them feeling confused - they are going to know that you have a problem, and will be better able to understand if as you say you feel you're not fully there for them.

It shouldn't be a burden to them - they are likely to want to be taken into your confidence and know that you trust them. Family support is so important and they will most likely want to be there for you. It needn't stop them from getting on with their own stuff.

[THL1 in reply to Sallyskins]

Thanks so much Sallyskins. Wise words

[mantis-toboggan]

Hi there. I have found in my experience that OCD can trick us into thinking we are burdening our family members with our diagnosis. I understand that can feel very convincing. I am in my early twenties in myself and I can almost always tell when my parents are stressed or dealing with something. I am sure that -- if anything -- your children would want to help you if they knew you were struggling. I think explaining OCD and how you are feeling could turn out to be a relief for you. Either way, I am sure things will work out just fine

[THL1 in reply to mantis-toboggan]

Thank you

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate]

I love all of the support you've gotten in this thread. Telling your children is a big and very personal decision. Either way you decide to go you've got this and we'll be here to support you.

[THL1 in reply to alexandraisobsessed]

Thank you so much