The Paradox of OCD Recovery

[alexandraisobsessed]

Good morning good morning!

I’m back and recovered from my illness and relapse. Thank you to everyone here for the kindness and support in the midst of my OCD relapse. It truly made me smile to see all of your messages.

I had a moment the other day and some thoughts about it I’d like to share with you and get your input on.

So, my husband and I had a minor disagreement the other day. As we were working it out over text I sent him something to the effect of “You’re not going to divorce me are you?”

Totally unwarranted and irrational! Divorce was never brought up and the disagreement was so trivial. It was OCD causing me to look for reassurance.

I quickly followed it up with “Don’t answer that.”, but it made me realize how OCD has been in the driver’s seat without my realizing it!

I got super mad. I know OCD. I felt like I should know better and got embarrassed that I was still giving into compulsions like this. That led me to realize that this is the great paradox of OCD.

We KNOW the best treatment is ERP. That the way to recovery is to sit with uncertainty and resist compulsions. The solution is deceptively simple, but enacting it is difficult work.

I got so focused on my big planned exposures that I neglected my basic ritual prevention. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I’m onto you OCD!

Is this something you all find difficult or frustrating? I feel like ERP tunnel vision is a trap I fall into a lot.

[chlo31e]

Same here. I do sometimes give into my compulsions without being aware of doing them, when I finally realize damage has already been done lol. It's real easy to lose control and fall into the OCD trap but it's important not to lose heart and keep on going. I'm glad you have such a positive outlook and attitude regarding this, let's challenge the monster and win this fight ! Wish u all the best going forward.

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate in reply to chlo31e]

Thank you for the well wishes! We can definitely do this. The slope is so slippery with OCD, but I find that the flip side is we can experience so much empowerment when we right ourselves and regain our footing.

[dutchgirl71]

I like how you described ERP, the solution to OCD, is deceptively simple, but enacting it is difficult work. So true! I tell myself to just stop checking and washing…how lovely that would be…but feels impossible. Well said?

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate in reply to dutchgirl71]

Thank you so much It does feel like a huge task. I like to break it down into small goals and it feels much easier that way.

For example, one week I'll commit to washing my hands once and that's it. Then once I feel confident in that I'll move on to my next compulsion.

It can really build momentum to check off small goals.

[hear8]

Thank you for sharing this. Reassurance is something that often happens in my life and I sometimes fail to realize it is OCD.

[alexandraisobsessed IOCDF Advocate in reply to hear8]

Reassurance is so so so sneaky! I still catch myself doing it and I'm so good at it that my husband doesn't recognize it's OCD so he gives it to me! Poor sweet man! He just wants me to be happy.