Is this ocd? : I am 19F and so like... - My OCD Community

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Is this ocd?

Blehhhh1309 profile image
9 Replies

I am 19F and so like basically it started exactly 3 months ago when I talked to this girl whom I was jealous of because my boyfriend once said she looked pretty nd when I talked with her for the first time I found her to be pretty nd attractive and had an intrusive thought that what wd it feel like kissing her lips I really didn't want to do that I was so worried that I kept obsessing over it nd it started giving me anxiety and then I started doubting my sexuality and head mental breakdowns and everything became hard my boyfriend has to struggle alongwith me I cannot even imagine leaving him and we are in a long distance relationship and haven't met since 3 months and more and because of all this it's becoming hard for me to focus on anything or enjoy anything that I used to enjoy before all this I tend to look at each and every girl nd have these unwanted thoughts at times I feel like I want to act on them nd I accept them but then I start worrying about everything again.And today I thought I will just see from where it all started nd try to cut everything off but I ended up stalking the hell out of that girl I was jealous of nd got nothing but more qtns and anxiety please could you help me?I don't know what's happening in my life I have an exam next month I want to focus on it please help

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Blehhhh1309 profile image
Blehhhh1309
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9 Replies
Ocdwarrior profile image
Ocdwarrior

Hi! Too me it definitely sounds like OCD. Obviously I can't diagnose u but it sounds a lot like my personal struggle with OCD. My main OCD theme is pocd. But I have sexual intrusive about anything from fear of molesting a person to fear of having sex with germs. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ And everything in between. I've also had sexual intrusive thots about other women. Thots of kissing them etc. stuff I do not want to do. I've done enough therapy that I've gotten to the point that for the most part it's just background noise and I try not to let it affect my quaility of life. So my advice to you is to find an OCD therapist, someone who actually KNOWS OCD in and out and knows how to treat it with ERP. I personally wasn't really able to get a therapist at the time so I worked through dr Jonathan Abramowitz workbook Getting Over OCD. Which was very helpful. Also feel free to ask any questions on this support group. That really helped me a lot especially since I didn't have a therapist. Best of luck to u! ❤️❤️

Blehhhh1309 profile image
Blehhhh1309 in reply to Ocdwarrior

Even I can't find a therapist also being a student I cannot afford one :/ This is really frustrating idk what's wrong tho

neuroquest1 profile image
neuroquest1

This sounds very much like OCD. It took me a long time to understand the cycles of anxiety I get into myself, but knowing that it’s my OCD driving my intrusive thoughts has helped me separate the thoughts from how I really feel about myself. I’m sorry you’re struggling right now and hope you are able to find the help you need.

Blehhhh1309 profile image
Blehhhh1309 in reply to neuroquest1

Thank you so much :)

pinkpenguins5 profile image
pinkpenguins5

Hey, first off I’m so sorry you’re going through this. When I was probably 13/14 (I am now 18) I went through something similar with my best friend I swore for a month I was gay because I had an intrusive thought about kissing her and obsessed over it for so long , every time I was around her I wanted to just lean in and kiss her. We’ve now been friends for almost 9 years and Those thoughts are Litterally nonexistent now. Eventually I came to the conclusion that if I was gay , so what? I’ve also learned with OCD the best advice is to simply just accept the thought and attach no emotion to it. The harder you push it out of your mind the harder it will push back. Don’t let the OCD win and remember thoughts are just thoughts they don’t hold meaning unless you give them meaning. Also I know you don’t know if it’s ocd but either way just remember thoughts are just thoughts. I really hope you can find some peace of mind soon! And you’re not alone , sending love !!

Blehhhh1309 profile image
Blehhhh1309 in reply to pinkpenguins5

Thank you so much :)

JessieV profile image
JessieV

I’m so sorry this anxiety has complicated your life. You might try googling “relationship ocd” and “sexual intrusive thought ocd” as this sounds similar to what I know of those. But of course I’m not a professional so I couldn’t say for sure. There is help out there. Don’t give up. You aren’t alone.

Blehhhh1309 profile image
Blehhhh1309 in reply to JessieV

Thank you so much :)

Hiddennnn profile image
Hiddennnn

I’m going trough something very similar and it’s hard with long distance relationship 😢

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