I had magical thinking OCD, I was wasting a lot of hours during days doing rituals. Now I do no ritual, I've almost overcome it. My last post was about the thing I was afraid to wear, but I dealt with it. But then I remembered/find out that it wasn't the last thing left with OCD. I'm also so afraid of perfume, because I had a lot of " OCD hallucination" connected with them. (Not real hallucinations, but staff like flashes in eyesight, feeling of touch when a thought comes to my mind). I bought perfume several times and throw them out after some time because I wasn't able to hold the pressure.
The problem is that I don't even want to wear perfume now, but most of the times when I'm dressing, doing my hair I automatically think about perfume, that I could wear it, that it smells really nice, and fear comes to a very hight point that my muscles feel like stones. I can't stop thinking about perfume, my brain do it even when I wake up, and at random times during the day. Not so much I need that perfume, but maybe because I subconsciously want to be absolutely free from OCD. So I get my muscles tensioned many times a day, and I feel really really bad, it affects my physical health too because tension in muscles is extremely bad for me. I need to solve it somehow.
I don't know exactly what to do. I don't know whether I can stop thinking about perfume, or maybe I should buy it. It all is too hard for me.
Please, help. Maybe you can recommend something to me, give me some advice.