Thinking things aren't real. Anyone else?

[OCDMom23]

Hi, I have been hesitant to post on here because I'm new to the community, but I figured I'd give it a go. I was diagnosed with OCD as a child and have managed it for most of my life, I'm in my late thirties now. I've had some lapses, but overall it has not consumed my life. I was diagnosed with Covid about a 6 weeks ago and it's been worse ever since. I increased my meds from 20 mg of celexa to 30, and have improved, but still not 100%. The headaches and stuff aren't helping either. I have recently been having the thought that things are not real, this is a newer thought for me and I was wondering if anyone else has had it? I'm accustom to the intrusive thoughts, I've had them since childhood, but this one is particularly bothering me. My mind will tell me I'm not real, or my family isn't real, even that this community group isn't real. It really bothers me. Am I the only one?

[MyOCD123]

Hi there! You are certainly not the only one! If there was only one thing I could tell the OCD community it would be that if you think your are alone in a thought you are very very wrong. First off, I am sorry to hear you had Covid but I’m glad that you are doing better now! I also had it and it is no fun. I can only speculate but I would think that maybe this disruption in your life caused a flare up of OCD. At least in my experience change of any kind has caused my OCD to worsen. Secondly, although my OCD mostly revolves around harm obsessions I too have had fears that I’m not real or the world around me isn’t real. It’s definitely not a fun thought to have and I think the fact that it is different from your usual intrusive thoughts is what makes it more difficult. Two years ago I would worry that when I was talking to my therapist maybe she didn’t exist or maybe I didn’t exist and my whole life/existence was a hallucination. My advice to you would be treat this as you would any other intrusive thought - with ERP. Some of my statements that I would read to myself were hypotheticals like “What if I’m not real” or “What if I’m hallucinating”. Over time I taught my brain that this thought didn’t hold any danger and therefore it faded just like the other ones. Another good technique my therapist gave me was to simply respond to the thought with “I don’t know” or “That would suck”. I found that to be really helpful as I was able to respond to the thought without letting myself do mental compulsions trying to remember every detail of my life to prove it’s real. Bottom line, you are not alone in this thought!! And I do believe that you can and will tackle this thought just like any of the others before. I hope this was able to help you, I will be sure to include you in my prayers tonight.

[OCDMom23 in reply to MyOCD123]

Thank you!!! It feels comforting to know I'm not the only person that's thought it. I'm pretty sure I have thought it before in years past, but sometimes I will forget a thought for a while and then it will come around again. It's like I've never thought it before, which is so odd. I do believe having Covid did cause me an immense amount of anxiety and also the physical side affects weren't great. Fortunately my case was mild, but it gave me intense headaches. I felt like maybe it changed something neurologically, but who knows? My current OCD lapse has been tough, but I'm fighting through it. Normally I would never even attempt to comment on a forum like this, but I've come to realize as I've gotten older that I can't hide my OCD from the world. Maybe reaching out to others will help me along the way. Thank you for your comment and your prayers, they're both greatly appreciated. 😊

[Jooboo]

Do u feel delusional? As that may be another symtom. Feelings of things that are not real. Tell you doctors as your medicatiom may not suit. Xx

[Metal_92]

Hi, I experience this a lot too. I was told to consider something called Derealization the symptoms of which really seemed to match what I felt. Basically what they say is that it's one of the brain's coping mechanisms for stress that when it gets overwhelmed and kinda just shut down for a bit.

[OCDMom23 in reply to Metal_92]

Thanks is for replying. I have read about derealization before and it does sound like my issue to some extent, although I'd never thought of it as a coping mechanism of the brain. That actually makes sense. Of course my brain can simply have the thought "I'm not real" and then I go into a panic. It still amazes me, even after dealing with OCD since childhood, how the simplest most benign thought can trigger such a reaction.

[Metal_92 in reply to OCDMom23]

I empathize having dealt with it since childhood also, it is amazing what our brains are capable of! I'm sorry you go through what you go through and I hope you're able to learn more about it soon! Don't know if it helps, but some tips I've received have been placing a cold water bottle on your wrists or neck, or sipping the cold water till it passes.

[HIMYM24]

Those feelings are scary and they are lonely. I completely understand how you feel. Recently I have had a moment or 2 where I have also struggled with that g and wondered what is going in with me. That is not an easy thing to go through. Sorry you had to struggle like that. I would however like to thank you for asking that question, because it puts me at ease as well. I hope you are doing much better now

[HIMYM24]

I just saw for the first time the explanation for what I had experienced. Seems exactly correct and then I thought about you on this group with what you had experienced as well and thought I would share.... youtu.be/h7u59TkQTxY(Not working as expected?)

Well explained

[OCDMom23 in reply to HIMYM24]

Wow!! That is a really good video. I did experience some of these symptoms, but not all. The memory loss, or fear of memory loss, was definitely one. When my OCD was really bad 2 or 3 months ago I was nervous to look in the mirror, like I felt like it wasn't me. Definitely a weird and scary feeling. I have improved a great deal in the last two months, but am still working on getting better. Thanks so much for sharing this!!! I really appreciate it. ☺️

[HIMYM24 in reply to OCDMom23]

I am glad you are doing better, it gives people like me hope as well haha. Seems like those symptoms can vary but at least knowing you aren't crazy is a big step

[OCDMom23 in reply to HIMYM24]

Yes realizing you're not crazy, does make a person feel better. I remember seeing a psychiatrist when I was a child and asking him if I was crazy. He informed me that in his experience people that are truly crazy, don't think they're crazy. They think they're perfectly sane. So if you're questioning your sanity, you're probably okay. I remember as a kid thinking that made sense. 😊

[HIMYM24 in reply to OCDMom23]

Wow! Yes that definitly does make sense and is reassuring. I read something similar today, we are rationalizing and we questioning things etc so that is definitly a good sign! I think the first step is to stop feeling alone

[OCDMom23 in reply to HIMYM24]

Yes feeling like you're the only person in the entire world that suffers with OCD, or any anxiety disorder, is very discouraging. When you truly realize that you're not the only person, and that there are so many people struggling with similar issues, you feel a little bit of the weight lift off of your shoulders. Sometimes my OCD will make me think, that everything isn't real, I'm just imagining it. That even this forum isn't real. I'm slowly getting to the point where it doesn't bother me as badly and I can continue on with my life. I would have really liked to have had a forum like this to talk to other individuals with OCD when I was younger, or even 8-9 years ago when I had a bad lapse. There is so much information available now and so many groups trying to help. It really is quite amazing.

[HIMYM24 in reply to OCDMom23]

True! The biggest lie is that we are struggling with something alone. That fear that nothing is real can be so scary, and it's actually very difficult ficult to reach out to someone... The internet has changed so much, imagine struggling with covid back in 2001 before we had all this and still struggling with all this ocd

[mvillarreal]

I thought it was just me!!! I used to have solipsist anxiety. That is, I wondered if nothing outside myself was real and maybe that I was alone in the universe and everyone and everything else was a hallucination. Frankly, none of us can be completely certain that anything outside ourselves exists ("I think; therefore, I am"), but the simplest explanation for everything happening outside of us seems to indicate that there is a real world outside our own minds.

[Proudmama1986]

Just chiming in! Not alone at all friend. I feel for you and experience this symptom too. It’s frightening. When I’m in the thick of it, I feel so hopeless and then think “what’s the point of life?” My brain sticks to that question.