Hey!!: Hey everybody i want to come out... - My OCD Community

My OCD Community
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Hey everybody i want to come out about all my thoughts.First things first all of these thoughts began when i saw a video of a man getting stabbed to death,i know i shouldnt but i was 15 and i dont know why i watched it.First thoughts were what if i was a maniac and didnt know it what if im going to kill someone,then the thoughts took a turn what if i kill my own parents,my own family all of these started to get very ugly,but this phase passed somehow i was back to normal i used to get thoughts but not as much.Then boom out of nowhere what if i was a pedophile i was scared to hang out with my little brother,and all kind of thoughts.Then what if i become a drug abuser and i throw my life away,but all of these had their peak of affecting me i started to get better i dont know how but they did , the thoughts would visit me time after time but not with big effect i didnt care.Just as i thought things got better just the pandemic started and then the quarantine.I was good until about 3 weeks ago a new thought came out nowhere"WHAT IF IM GAY" ,this thought been haunting me for about 3weeks,i mean no disrespect i have nothing against LGBT community but im just not one,i ve been into girls my whole life i dont think someone can change overnight its just absurd.I know i like girls very much but my thoughts literally bully me its been 27 hours and i didnt get a minute of sleep.Just as i thought that the thoughts have no more power over me it happened ,its hitting me in every thing in my life.I stay in my room most of the time,my thoughts literally crush my brain and its becoming worse , i dont like doing things i used to like,and i dont know if this is related but my sperm count has lowered sorry for being so direct but i dont know how to say it.I dont know whats happening but i feel like my brain belongs to a 70year old not a 16 year old.I had a lot of ups and downs for about a year now i just dont see this getting better.

Ive tried to blame the video for this ,but then my dad told me about his grandma how she would wash her hands till they bled .I dont if its the video or are the genetics but this has to stop because its affecting my life at this point.I dont no one should experience these bullying thoughts at the best time of their life,but i think some of us are here to suffer.

Hope yall good :)

16 Replies

Hello! By reading your post I can only imagine how terrified you must have been all this time but I can't really help you as this is beyond me so I think it's best if you could set up an appoinment with a therapist. I understand that for now, it may be quite difficult to do so but I really think it could help you. I hope things will be better for you honey and please remember that you are not alone. :)

Thank you for your support and kind words<3

Hi, from everything you’ve explained it sounds like you have a type of ocd. I read an article on it and your symptoms sound exactly the same.

These thoughts must be so terrifying and exhausting. I know for a time I had thoughts about harming a person who used to be in my life. You feel terrible, terrified, alone, confused and so much anxiety.

I personally think that ocd is a genetics thing and the video just triggered/started it.

I really think you should tell a parent or trusted adult. Also do some research about this type of ocd online. I pray you get help for this soon.

Messages open anytime 💕

Hey,thank you so much for your respond.I did research,i think is one of 4 types of OCD ,the one with intrusive thoughts its not really constant it comes and goes,but it crushes me sometimes ,i just think im to young for this anxiety,it leaves me sleepless,tired i dont know i hope i get better the same thing i hope to all of you <3

Yes, yeah ocd I don’t t think has to be constant, but just something that negatively affects your daily life.

I’m 17, and I have always been a more anxious kid but at 13 it became debilitating. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety disorder, ocd, Trichotillomania (hair pulling disorder) linked to ocd. And multiple chronic illnesses.

I know how it feels to go from what feels like normal to sick (whether physically or mentally) almost overnight. And before your even an adult. It feels like your to young to be dealing with it. But trust me you are not alone. ❤️

I just want some normal,happy teen years thats all,i used to have so many ambitions but they all started to fade.

It will get better. And they will come back. Speaking from experience it does get better. And no one is really “normal”. Everyone is hiding something in life, which makes them feel abnormal. My therapist drilled that into me lol

I hope so

Here is you ever need to talk ❤️

Heyyy, i also have ocd and i have had every single one of the thoughts that you have written and also the one With What if im gay, but i dont struggle With any of those anymore, for me it started when I was 14 years old and I am now 15 years old and still struggle with some new thoughts but

It is getting much better because I am getting help from a psychiatrist who specialieses in ocd, it is a little bit important that it is someone

who is specialized in ocd because if not, they might not understand you, but yes my tips is just to go and see a terapist/psychiatrist who is specialized in ocd. And also remember that you are never alone and everything will get better, stay strong!!

Yeah ,its good that u dont struggle with that thought anymore,but its like when a thought starts to fade our brain replaces with a new one so thats hard.But i hope you are doing well and thank you very much

Look up a site called a penny for your intrusive thoughts. Two teens with intrusive thoughts started this site and I think it would help you find some freedom. And be sure you find a therapist who does cognitive behavior therapy. It has done wonders for me. There is a lot of help out there. You will find YOU are not alone. ❤️❤️

Thank you so much for the info <3 Hope you are well

Check out the IOCDF website it has all the information you need on OCD and also helps you find a therapist near you.

I don't think it's helpful to be beating yourself up about not feeling like a "normal happy teen." I'm so much happier now than I was as a teenager. I think it's a myth that most teens are happy and carefree. It's hard to be young. Your emotions can be overwhelming and you don't have the years of life experience to cope with it. Be gentle with yourself. What would you tell a friend who told you the story you just recounted? Please get help. This suffering can be relieved. Again, how would you advise a friend? Hang in, you're not alone!


It sounds like your thoughts are having power over you. I recommend doing ERP therapy and mindfulness. You can gain space from your thoughts that way and be able to see and feel more clearly. Try noticing the thought, your reaction to thought (how does this make me feel and what impulse am I feeling in response?). Allow the emotion. You can get your power back!

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