Heartbeat OCD...any pointers?

[Tikirob]

I have had heartbeat OCD in the past have gone to doctors and clinics when it gets bad and have gotten good reports. I am not 100 percent certain that my issue now is OCD but my options during Covid in NY are to treat it as such until I can access greater healthcare.

In the past this concern subsides with a greater OCD fear or therapy but nothing has worked and last night I was up all night and losing my mind. I keep telling my therapist I am losing sleep and this is not good for my immunity and body, I have leaned into the fear with ERP but this is making it worse with no results of lower anxiety after so I have stopped and used a mindfullness approach which helps me only when I am completely exhausted. My pulse is normal, I can breathe but have major tension in my neck and back, I also have other stress indicators like a noisy stomach and feeling like I’m strung out on coffee without drinking any.

Does anyone here have any pointers or information on how to cope with this?

[LuvSun]

Do you mean you have heart palpitations? Have you tried deep breathing to help relax you when this occurs? I’ve suffered from these palpitations or an increased awareness of my beating heart- I think it was anxiety even though I wasn’t feeling anxious. It comes and goes

[Tikirob in reply to LuvSun]

Hi and thanks for the reply. I do mean heart palpitations - but not just one incident but a steady direct connection with my heart so it’s like normally people are not aware of their heart until they exercise or get nervous but it’s like I am on a phone call with mine and it’s a one way conversation- it’s actually strange it’s like I am bothered and alarmed by my heart beating when it’s actually a very good thing! I can’t be sure but I have gotten it looked at in the past so many times in these situations where it turns out to be anxiety yet still the problem of trying to sleep persists. Were you able to sleep ok with it?

[Ubud2021]

I am diagnosed with OCD, but I have never heard of this before. This forum is always filling me with knowledge.

Sometimes I do find myself obsessing over the way my heart beats. It can get very scary! Especially when you notice the beat is different, so you start thinking about, and it changes even more! It’s a nasty cycle.

When I notice I am doing this, the first thing I do. Is just notice my breathing. Sometimes I’ll take slow, deep breathes. And other times, I will just observe how I am already breathing, and continue to breathe that way. (If it’s not incredibly short and shallow breathing.) I notice once in a while, if I do try to take deeper, longer breathes, I get more of an irregular heart beat. So, sometimes it is necessary to just continue to breathe normal.

After I close my eyes, lay down, become aware of my breathing, the body sensations I feel, and become aware of how my stomach/chest is rising and falling, ill also imagine the word INHALE as I’m inhaling. The word starts out small, then expands as inhaling, to the whole “frame” I am picturing. Also the word EXHALE as I am exhaling with the same picture. I don’t know if this makes sense, I’m trying my best to explain it. Haha

Also, while doing this, I’ll start to become more aware of surrounding sounds happening. I let myself get lost in those sounds if they are comforting, or just notice certain sounds, then release them and listen to a different sound. It’s a good way to start to invite your mind of focusing on other things.

Usually by then, when I feel like I am ready, I will pick a different task to do/focus on, open my eyes, and then slowly get up, and start this activity I have chosen. I have had to do this multiple times a day before, even right after I have gotten up. And that’s okay.

I’m sorry to hear that things haven’t been quite working out for you. You will discover something that best works for you, soon enough.

Also, New York? Wow. A lot going on there. How has it been this past week?

Also, at one point in my life, I had a very similar thing happen to me with coffee or any caffeine. And I mean I drink coffee like I breathe oxygen. So, it was so unusual to me that this was happening. I tried many different things. Such as half coffee, half decaf. Things like that. But unfortunately these things I came up with, did not work. So, I had to switch fully to decaf for a little bit. It sucked! But, had to be done. Before I knew it, I was drinking coffee again.

I hope this helps. Maybe you have tried it all already. Keep trying to find a system that works for you.

[Tikirob in reply to Ubud2021]

So much knowledge here thanks for the great response, the visualizations of inhale and exhale are awesome - I am going to try tonight because sometimes just the breath itself isn’t enough, you are right! And also I notice when I breathe in deep my heart pounds louder ( and also I become aware of how shallow I normally breathe). Would you recommend this before sleep, while trying to sleep?

I finally got some good sleep last night and today my heart concentration went away but in the shower today while I’m in a deep daydream about being sued because I recorded a song with a friend and forgot where the cd was and thought someone had taken it and put it on social media and in it I mention a famous persons name but nothing bad about them (but afraid I would be sued) - in other words a completely crazy OCD fear - I got really bad palpitations out if nowhere! I was so scare they went away and my heat-beats have been steady since but I am upset that I don’t know what the issue is!

I love coffee too and struggle throughout my life to keep my cups of it in check. I have been so good about not drinking it during the pandemic. When I was trying to quit I would have decaf Americanos I felt they had much more flavor than regular decaf coffee especially if you take sugar and cream in it.

NY has been really bonkers. The toughest part in the beginning was hearing the increase in ambulance sirens around where I live. Then at night it will be country quiet which is really daunting in a place that is never completely quiet. Soon after the shutdown I was starting to get calls about people who I knew that had gotten it and then I am staying with a friend who works in the hospital system and the stories there are just horrible - some of her colleagues have been on the national news voicing concerns about supplies, being put Into unsafe environments, and protesting the lack of concern by the federal government.

And today it was nice and so many people were in the park. With masks and all. I was like I can’t go in that park there are too many people! You get the feeling that people have had it staying home all the time - I saw a person driving a convertible with a mask on blasting music.

Today was my first trip outside in a week. How are things near you?

[Ubud2021 in reply to Tikirob]

I would do this routine wherever and whenever you need it (: if right before sleep is when it happens, give it a go!

That’s so good you finally got some good sleep last night. Good sleep tends to make things a little bit more tolerable.

Also, I like to think of scenarios in the shower as well 😂 I literally will start a fight in my head, before it even happens. And hardly does this “fight” I practice for, actually happen. Are you in the music industry?

Honestly, I think some people are more sensitive/aware of what is going on with their bodies, than others. It seems like when you do get checked, everything is usually normal. Did I understand that correctly? Also, OCD is linked with anxiety, which I’m sure you are aware of. So, these kinds of things can just happen out of the blue. But, of course, if you are super concerned for your health, when all this stuff settles down a little bit, see if you can get a few tests done. It could be something as little as these mental issues, or anemia. Or, maybe there is more to look into.

Do you ever take any drugs? When I was in my teens/early 20s and raving/festival days, these kinds of things would happen as well. But, I always knew what it was from... ☺️

And yikes!! That would be pretty intense to hear all of that go on! I’m sure it’s a very strange feeling with things slowing down and being more quiet. I’m sorry about hearing the news of the ones you know, getting it. That’s good you’re staying with a friend! And being desperate for supplies in a New York hospital, is pretty damn upsetting. Also, I could not imagine working in a hospital with all of this. She is very brave. That’s good they are protesting their concerns.

Awe, 💕 I bet it was so nice to be at the park. Nature is the best. And that guy in the convertible is my new spirit animal.

We’ve had about 4,000 cases. Nothing compared to New York. I live in a small town. I’m currently staying “back at home” with all this stuff going on. But my apartment is right in the middle of the city. On the busiest street right across the fire department. Being back at home, I’m living on farmland and a peach orchard. So, i can actually hear the birds sing when I wake up instead of cars constantly honking 😂 It’s a nice change of pace. But definitely miss my home. But still, most appointments are online. Advised to stay indoors. All that.

[Tikirob in reply to Ubud2021]

When I was younger I used to party a bit and I tried some things here and there haha but now I don’t do much of anything except drink tea and have a glass of wine with dinner now and then.

I had some more bad episodes of anxiety in the past couple of days so had to call my psychiatrist to see if I could get some meds for my sleeplessness. The Covid I think is really affecting me indirectly with how empty and quiet everything is.

I live in a neighborhood where normally you would see so many people out an about on a nice day, all the restaurants, most of them with sidewalk seating would have a good vibe to them. I would go and get a freddo espresso and walk for miles just checking out the scene and people watching.

Now it’s dreary and the same three rooms. I see my neighbor outside the front window with a cigarette all hours of the day. The view is a block of apartment buildings that look much like mine but the birds and budding trees have been so nice so I have to be grateful for that and for being safe.

I hope you are able to return to your town soon.

[LuvSun]

My heart palpitations have been better since I gave up on coffee like 4 years ago. Lately I have been having the sensations but I think it is just anxiety related. I too have been checked out by a Cardiologist and told everything is fine. She told me that some people are just more aware of their heartbeat.

[Tikirob in reply to LuvSun]

I think that’s the case there is a term for it I learned but forgot it. I do believe it has to do with habitual focus. I gave up coffee during covid but have had a few cups during the past few months and at first it was great I had withdrawals but felt so much more at ease now after two months of indoor I feel like all tense again. Thanks for the response.