Horrible harmful thoughts

[Jackmarsh94]

My anxiety is so bad. I dr has changed my medication so I am a lower dosage and I wake with heart racing and go to sleep the same way. My mind is racing and I keep having the same thoughts that I’m going to act horribly to my partner and harm him. And if I don’t I’ll do it to my mum. I can’t get these thoughts out my head and they’re getting worse, everything I do My minds questioning why and that I’m going to harm someone . I just want to feel normal again

[Hidden]

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time.

Do not interact with the thoughts.

Let the thoughts be there.

Just view them as an OCD thought.

Accept the thoughts as they come, and sit with the anxiety.

The more you resist the thoughts, the more it will persist.

The anxiety will be high in the beginning, but it will slowly get lesser.

Hope you will feel better.

[MyOCD123 in reply to Hidden]

And that is why ERP is the gold standard for treatment! It sounds like a terrible concept when you first start but I was truly amazed by how little the thoughts bothered me the more I allowed for them to happen. 😊

[MyOCD123]

Hi there, I’m really sorry to hear you are struggling right now! I have dealt with the theme of harming others for the past year and still wrestle with it a bit today. First I wanted to address the medication aspect of your post. Changing medicine can be very difficult on the body and side effects are no fun, but I would encourage you to reach out to your doctor if you are concerned about your symptoms. If you lower your dose too quickly than withdrawal can occur and make your body feel pretty darn crappy. I have definitely been there before. I am not a doctor but those are just my thoughts based on my experience.

And now for the intrusive thoughts you are experiencing. It is truly terrifying when we experience these kinds of thoughts about others, especially our loved ones. It took me a long time to realize that just because I had a thought does not mean that thought has meaning. OCD wants you to question every aspect of your life and make you believe you are something that you are not. Just because you worry about harming your partner or mom does NOT mean that you will. A thought is just a thought. Did you know that it has actually been proven in studies that people with OCD are actually less likely to harm a person than the average joe? That is because we will go to great lengths to protect our loved ones, even if it means isolating ourselves. But the good news is that we don’t have to do that. Clearly these thoughts cause you a great deal of stress and anxiety and that is because they are ego dystonic. They represent the exact opposite of who you are, and it is for this reason you latch onto the thought and try to figure out why it is occurring. However, there is no why. Each day we all experience intrusive and disturbing thoughts because that is a part of life that effects even those without OCD. We cannot control the content of our thoughts but we can choose how we respond to them.

What I I want you to know most is that OCD is a big fat liar. I promise you that it will NEVER tell you the truth and it’s important to remember that. My OCD has told me I’m crazy, schizophrenic, a serial killer, and a child abuser...just to name a few. I have had disturbing thoughts and images flash through my brain that I became obsessed with. I tried so hard to figure out if there was truth to them and what they meant about me and that process was pure torture. But change happens when we accept our thoughts for what they are, which is just thoughts, and choose to no longer feed into compulsions such as mentally reviewing or checking. There is a really great book that helped me when I was in the most difficult part of my battle with OCD. It’s called “Overcoming Harm OCD” by Jon Hershfield and I would highly recommend it. You may feel alone in your thoughts but trust me when I say you are not. So many of us have dealt with the exact same fears and unwanted thoughts. Try your best to not give power to those thoughts. I know that if I can recover, than so can you and everyone else who is affected. You got this and you are already so brave for living amongst OCD. I hope that one day you find yourself living IN SPITE of OCD. Wishing you the very best and all of the healing. 💖

[Jackmarsh94 in reply to MyOCD123]

I cannot thank you enough for your reply here!! I have had these thoughts and the exact ones you mention that you have had yourself! It’s actually made me happy that you’ve replied and how much I can relate to your reply. I honestly can’t thank you enough . I’m going to read up on this book you have mentioned to me. Thanks again

[Selesnya in reply to Jackmarsh94]

Just FYI, your time would be well spent going through her other replies. Click on MyOCD123, and then you can look at either Posts or Replies.

[MyOCD123 in reply to Jackmarsh94]

I am glad you found my response helpful! I am always here to help support others and share in my experience with OCD so that we can all move toward recovery. I hope the book helps! 😊

[Jackmarsh94 in reply to MyOCD123]

Thanks again. Also started a therapy class / work shop today. And just waiting on the book to arrive , should be here any day now. Hopefully things are on the up. 😊

[MyOCD123 in reply to Jackmarsh94]

That is awesome! I hope things improve for you!