HOCD stands for Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and is a term that is used to describe having unwanted intrusive thoughts in relation to your sexual preference. This is one of many topics of OCD. It is very different from thoughts about ‘coming out.’ HOCD is where you are heterosexual but are having obsessive thoughts that you are not.
Lets go through what HOCD looks like and the treatment. 👊
Thanks! I saw your video and it gave me some reilief. I am facing this type of problem from 1.5 years and next year I am going to college, and the thought about it is killing as I will see only new faces but before it I was so excited about college. People say college friends and life is the best, but in my case even if I get great friends, my mind will ruin it. I still have 6 months left for college. I want to get rid off this nightmare. If anyone would have said I am gay or bi before 1.5 years, I would have laughed it off but now even thinking about people gives me anxiety. I don't know what to do. I don't want to become gay or bi ever. Wish I would have never known this types of things. My mind is also like that you are in denial or realizing that you are not straight. I want things to become normal again. I don't gave guts to look g porn because 1. I worry that what if I get aroused. 2. Even if I don't, I will get disgusted and my mind will always show me that image and my mind will always be like that particular video was not good and try another. HOCD is killing. Even before puberty I had crush on girls, now its like I am supressing myself. I know about ERP but I don't want to share this with my friends or family and also worried that it will create images and audios in my mind. Before Hocd, I thought I will be in touch with all of my friends after marriage. Now I don't want to even talk with them because hocd tells go have them. Everything is ruined, I cant concentrate on studies. The thing is before hocd I don't even knew that someone can actually be gay. I thought their actions are like gay, they aren't actually so I used to hang out with anyone. Now when I meet any person, my mind is like check if you are aroused or not, its now automatic I remember when I saw male models, either I was like meh or I was like " Oh, I wish I too had that body or face." When ever I am ok( that rarely happens for like 30 minutes at max) and convinced I am not gay or bi, my mind always remind then why are those people like this , I give some reasons and then whole cycle starts again. I don't have mental peace from anything, whenever I see a cute girl my mind is like now its time to look a guy(like wtf), what if I became gay or bi in future.I don't get that what do you all mean by "accept" it, that I am gay or bi, that's horrifying or do you mean by accepting be like "yeah whatever" and get distracted. Now mind tells me you will not able to live with a girl after marriage, it kills me. I didn't even found boys attractive and I thought I should appreciate them too but now see what has happened. I am in so much pain. Just hoped I didn't even knew these things. HOCD has taken my life, I just want this to go and be like before. Should I try gay porn to check, my mind always tells me to go check as it now seems the only way to make sure, but I am scared very much from it. Please help me. I will update more symptoms and my condition as soon as anyone replies.
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