Does anyone find it hard to maintain a healthy relationship with people, and cope with OCD.
I have friends in the background!! But I have no friends that are what I would call grounded! I truly don't mean that in a negative way, I just feel I scare the normal folk away, and I only use the word normal due to the lack of a better word, but I'm sure you guys know what I mean.
I'm just concerned my OCD makes me selfish to others!! Only being there when I'm okay!!!
I can relate to what you are saying
I think recognizing that this may be an issue (even if it isn’t) is a sign that you can’t possibly be selfish to others from your OCD. I think it is important to surround yourself with healthy, kind people that will challenge you to be better and not drag you deeper into your OCD, which I’ve seen happen to others. As long as these friends aren’t doing that, I’m my (humble, individual) opinion, friends are friends.
That being said, I experienced something quite recently that made me question how my OCD was effecting others. I lived in a dorm room suite where 8 of us shared a bathroom. I would constantly being going in and out washing my hands because of my OCD. Of course my suitemates noticed. One, who already had a grudge against me, decided to make fun of me for it loudly many times so all could hear. I was upset, and I talked to my other suitemates about it who assured me that while they would like to see me improve for my own benefit, washing my hands was my choice and didn’t bother them in the slightest.
While some may choose to avoid a person with ocd, as is their choice, many won’t care and many want to help. My point is that a good friend will understand, and will want to help You get better for you, not for them.
I hope this is relevant and helps. 
Don't be ashamed too that you have to wash your hands so much. Bullies will be bullies, I guess. We didn't ask to be this way remember that.
Thank you so much, I value people's opinions. And all this helps me to put things into perspective.
And Blue 274 is right a bully is a bully,
my boss at work made fun of me to someone saying I go through 6 boxes of gloves a day! I'm glad to say I stood up for myself!!
I never made the effort with people because I believed if they got to know me I'll depress them, and what if I get locked on!!! and what if I can't be there for them when they really need me cos I'm having a bad period!!!
I never open up like this!! And I'm glad I'm not hiding anymore!!
Everyone's comments are helping me feel less silly about myself.
I feel this way very often. My best friend is my sister and my husband. I have 1 other person I consider a good friend but she has no idea what is going on with me. I like how you say you have friends in the background. Great way to put it. I just don't reach out to anyone. I freak out when they reach out to me. Feel so inept in that way
I find it really hard to maintain healthy relationships. The only person I really feel completely comfortable with is my therapist. I'm afraid that I'm going to mess up my relationship with my wife and drive her away. I can talk to her about day-to-day things, but I have a really hard time opening up about my feelings and struggles. My relationship with my son is pretty good. It helps that he is in therapy and well and has his own issues to deal with. The reassurance of an understanding therapist has given us a common experience to talk about. We've really had a chance to connect some over the last month as we've started talking about his reasons for being in therapy.
I know what steps I need to take to start to have better relationships with select people in my life, but it's really hard to take those steps. I think that part of the problem is that OCD occupies so much of my thinking and mental energy, yet I don't talk about OCD much with people. My wife and son know that I have OCD and I talk about it most with my son. A few people at church know that I have OCD, but I don't know exactly if it's a good idea to talk about with them or not. I'm afraid that I'm going to either not share enough to get across what the experience is like or that I'm going to overshare and go on in too much detail. One of the people at church I've started to share some of my OCD struggles with and I talked to her about my harm OCD and the thoughts of hurting my wife and son. I think that might have been too much detail and I'm afraid that she thinks I'm a danger to my family now.
I'm trying to take advantage of this group here and a local, in-person OCD support group. I'm hoping that if I get enough talking about OCD out of the way with other people that understand, then maybe I can just avoid the topic with my regular acquaintances and just have a normal relationship with them. I guess I'll see if that can work out, but it is still a work in progress.
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