OCD Doesn’t Take Vacations

[MyOCD123]

Hey guys,

I’m currently on vacation with my family in one of my favorite places on earth. I’m getting plenty of rest, relaxation, and sunshine. But this is just a reminder that even though I take vacations, OCD doesn’t. I was doing well but then I was looking for silverware in the house we rented and of course I come across a drawer full of kitchen knives. If you have Harm OCD then you know what a trigger this can be. I’ve been trying to ignore it but my OCD is telling me that I will do something in my sleep and hurt the people I love. Even worse it likes to tell me that I’ve already done these things and am just hallucinating everything. This has been the hardest obsession to get over. Once OCD figured out that I could logic over some things it started with the hallucinating obsession which really sucks because how can I ever really have reassurance about that?! I don’t know if anyone else out there deals with these kinds of fears but if you do any advice or encouragement would be welcomed!

[NWOntario]

I'm at a point where I only really have OCD symptoms when I'm travelling - I'm lucky, I know! - but it just so happens that I was on vacation last weekend and had my first flare-up in almost a month. OCD tends to feast on travel, since it sees us out of our routines and, in some cases, compromising on the overall wellness that's so critical to our long-term well-being. Shala Nicely wrote a really great article about it:

psychologytoday.com/ca/blog...

In my case, given how rarely I experience flare-ups, I try and embrace my travel-related OCD as an exposure opportunity. It's challenging, obviously, because the symptoms really suck sometimes, but it's also important for my long-term recovery. I don't know if that perspective's helpful at all, but hopefully it gives you something for now!

[MyOCD123 in reply to NWOntario]

Wow, thank you so much for this! I don’t know why I thought my OCD would take a vacation. It makes total sense for a bad flare up because of how out of a routine I am, and I too haven’t had a bad flare up in a while. I’m doing my best to try to just accept thoughts and not suppress them. This is like one giant exposure and I’m trying to stay positive and focus on reporting this as a win to my therapist when I return home. I loved the article you recommended. Thank you so so much! You have no idea what it means to me 💚

[NWOntario in reply to MyOCD123]

Travel is AWESOME exposure. I travel quite a bit for work, which ensures I'm never able to get too comfortable with my OCD symptoms: there's always another, prolonged exposure opportunity just around the corner. Try keeping a positive mindset: instead of lamenting the onset of symptoms, see it as an opportunity to keep kicking OCD's butt. Ultimately, we need these opportunities in order to get where we want to go.

[bab5]

Hey! I am glad to hear that you were (and maybe still are) on vacation with your family in one of your favorite places.

Sounds like a lovely vacation.

OCD never takes any vacations.

I completely understand the presence of severely intrusive thoughts while attempting to enjoy an experience such as a vacation.

I understand the obsessions. I promise. We all suffer from unique obsessions, but they all relate regarding how the brain works.

There really is no way to reassure yourself regarding hallucinations. That can be seen as both bad and beneficial.

I hope that, after all, you enjoyed a successful vacation.

I hope it was wonderful.



[MyOCD123 in reply to bab5]

Thank you! I leave for Home tomorrow and I’m excited to get back and in a routine. This vacation really was one big exposure that I just wasn’t expecting. All in all I’m proud of myself and I think I’ve handled it pretty well. I was able to kind of recreate my bed time routine at home and that really helped me. It’s so hard sometimes with the obsessions. I feel like a freak for having them - especially the dark ones. At times I feel like I’m going crazy or already have gone crazy and just don’t know it yet, but most times I’m able to take a step back and just breathe. I definitely couldn’t have made it through vacation without the support of this group. Thank you so much for all you do!!

[bab5 in reply to MyOCD123]

Of course! Have you arrived at home yet?

I’m glad that you are looking forward to getting back into your routine. I’m glad you were able to treat your vacation as an exposure!

I’m glad to hear about your progress and success on the trip!

Adjusting routines while on vacation is an awesome strategy! Glad to hear that you’re using it!

I understand that it is extremely hard to get through days with the impossibly difficult obsessions.

Do not feel like a freak! It is your OCD brain, not you!

I feel sometimes that I have gone crazy as well. I know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s horrible.

I need to take a step back more frequently. You seem to have awesome coping strategies that I am sure many people in this community can use as assistance!

I’m glad you had a lovely vacation!

Thank YOU !! You’re awesome!

Keep up the great work.

[MyOCD123 in reply to bab5]

Hi!

I just got home tonight and the flight was terrible as we had to go through a rain storm but I made it through. I’m laying in bed and it almost feels too good to be true that I’m back home, which is giving me some more hallucination fears but I’m doing ok with them. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who feels like they’re actually going crazy at times. It’s a terrifying feeling but at least I’m not alone in it. I guess it’s one of the many reasons why they call OCD the Doubting Disease. Thank you for building me up and helping me to feel less alone, it truly means the world!

[bab5 in reply to MyOCD123]

Hello!

I am angered to hear that you endured a terrible flight! That would be excessively triggering for me. Hopefully you were not flying on a Boeing 737 Max 8.

How have the last few days been for you since you returned from your vacation?

I hope that your hallucination fears have been manageable.

You are definitely not the only one that thinks you have gone crazy. BELIEVE ME on that one. Good Lordy

Sure is the Doubting Disease. It is absolutely brutal. Very hard to manage.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and enlightening me with some of your coping methods. That means the world, just like this community.

Happy Hump Day!

[MyOCD123 in reply to bab5]

Thanks for checking in on me!

Luckily the plane was not that model but it sure was triggering to read that news story after the flight. The last few days have been pretty hard for me. I’ve been giving into compulsions and doing a lot of checking, as well as avoiding any of my ERP. However I just went to my therapist today and I’m determined to get back on track to where I was and do at least 30 minutes of ERP a day. I’m having a lot of worries about hallucinations and having schizophrenia but deep down I believe that OCD is going for that because it knows it’s one of my top fears. I’m hanging in there and hoping to finish out the week on a good note. Thank you for all your kind words! 😊