Opening Up

[Richcon]

I haven't posted here since my first post in December, but I have something I want to talk about. With my OCD when I was a kid I kept it a secret from everyone, I hid myself from everyone because back then all I saw it was that it was my weakness. When you're young you can't be known for what you think your weakness is. I don't want to hide anymore and my OCD doesn't affect me like it once did so I can live the life I've always wanted to now. I know OCD is not a weakness. It's a strength. When you hide something your whole life, which I'm 25 now, eventually whatever conversation you get into with anyone you only can go so far with any relationship. When someone asks you any personal questions you immediately put up that wall. Eventually, you have this weight on your shoulders from hiding the whole time and you can't carry it anymore. All I've ever wanted is to succeed and to be a leader. I just created a blog the site is live but I haven't made my first post yet. I've taken drastic steps to not hide anymore and my personal blog is kinda the last step saying IM HERE AND NOT GOING ANYWHERE. I've been procrastinating making my first post on my personal blog and since I know this place was made as a safe place for people with OCD I wanted to ask how many people have hidden their OCD like me?

[ISTY]

You are brave to share this and yes this is a safe space! Reading your post makes me feel optimistic for my 10 year old son who recently opened up to me about his ocd and we are now engaged in therapy and I have learned how to support and empower him better.. it is a strength and what I have learned it only happens to smart people.. I wish you luck and can’t wait to read your blog!!! Go for it!!!! Don’t look back!!

[Richcon in reply to ISTY]

Hey, thank you so much. That is so great that you are getting your son into therapy that early. I got diagnosed at 8 and my parents immediately put me in and I immediately started to learn about myself right away, that’s part of the reason why I am well now. It’s one hell of a fight but if you have the right support you can overcome anything.

[ISTY in reply to Richcon]

Have you had to fight it your whole life? I’m worried about triggers in his future. Any advice?

[Richcon in reply to ISTY]

I have fought it my whole life. There isn’t a pill that you can take to make it go away, but I do truly feel that the person who has OCD is the cure. What I mean is it’s the mindset that you cultivate. All I’ve ever wanted is success so early on when I saw that my life was going to be very difficult I pictured who I wanted to be when I got the chance to not be affected by any of it anymore. To be free to be and do what I wanted and so when I would get really stuck I’d let myself remember that I would never get that chance to be free if I didn’t get through it. You have to figure out how to dangle that carrot in front of you to always push you to get through. First the tricky part is figuring out what your carrot is if you know what I mean. So for you as a father I would ask him when he’s really struggling, what takes his mind off of his OCD? Focus on those things right now and then along the way ask him, if he could be free right now, what type of things would he do? Then that right there is the carrot. It will put it into his brain that that’s what he wants to fight for.

[Blue274]

Me. I finally opened up about it last May to my bosses/ friends.

[Richcon in reply to Blue274]

May I ask, how did your friends react?

[On_Or_Off]

I have, and I still do. I made a post like yours a while ago as an attempt to open up, too, and didn't get any responses or likes (indulging in the pity party here). I was so paranoid it was a dumb post I deleted it. I never talk about it.

So I want to say I hear you! I support your decision to be more open, and I hope you feel better personally and receive extra support! I'm here if you want to message about it!

[Richcon in reply to On_Or_Off]

Hey! I’m so sorry that you felt you had to delete it. I’m responding! I’m just really opening up about all of it and I can’t tell you how good it feels. It’s incredible to start taking this weight off my shoulders and I can finally start showing people who I am. By me doing this I hope I can help other people to not be afraid to do it too. Just know that you are liked, loved and worthy even when you feel you aren’t. YOU ARE!

[On_Or_Off in reply to Richcon]

aw, thank you!

let us know what you decide about your blog post. i say go for it, cause i wish i was that brave!

right now i'm at a private journaling phase. been doing it about a year, and it's been really helpful for realizing the roots of my fears and anxieties.

[Richcon in reply to On_Or_Off]

I got a journal about two years ago to do the same thing. Writing it down really does help because it makes you really organize your thoughts. It makes you think about it all in a good way. I have my first post thought out I think pretty well and in a few days I’ll put it out!

[Blue274]

Some were phobic, one made fun of me, but for the majority of them they are very supportive!

[Richcon in reply to Blue274]

That is so amazing. My family, my mom dad and sister have always known but I recently started to tell some coworkers and I’ve been getting some good feedback. Most people have no idea what the hell I’m talking about but they are asking thoughtful questions which makes me think they are interested in hearing about it. Which is a great first step in my book! Anyone who is phobic or makes fun of you, then you just don’t need that type of person in your life!

[Blue274]

Thanks

[Fearnomore]

I’ve hidden my OCD because I always felt like it’s a difficult disorder for others to fully understand. People seem to understand anxiety disorder and have heard of OCD, but they seem to call or think that someone with OCD is a perfectionist of some sort. They are not knowledgeable about the debilitating and crippling aspects of this illness. Our society has definitely come a long way since I began my struggle with OCD 31 years ago. When I began my struggle with OCD, people had never heard of it including myself. I’m very happy to see the gains over the years. Though, we still need to make more progress by informing the public more about this disorder. I hope and pray for a future where every human being is loved and accepted no matter the illness or disability. Best of luck to you and to all who have suffered with this disorder for a future filled lots of happiness and freedom from fear.

[Richcon in reply to Fearnomore]

Thanks for this response. I couldn’t have said it any better! The part of understanding, that’s it right there. Knowing that most people won’t understand. The truth is they won’t fully understand because if you don’t have OCD you won’t fully understand the emotions of it all. That doesn’t matter though because we just have to be ourselves and show people what were all about!

[Fearnomore in reply to Richcon]

Yes definitely, we’re truly good and smart people who have a lot to give back to society.

[Greensummer18]

I've hid my ocd. I shared it with my mom and a friend this past May. It isn't easy when you are suffering alone.