Broken

Hi, I guess I’m writing more to get off my chest. I’m 33 and have been diagnosed as infertile. My husband and I have separated due to this and other stresses. I feel broken.. family and friends don’t get it I keep being told I’m young and it’s fine. I have been trying to deal with this for the last 5 years.. and if I have no partner then I have no chance on the NHS. I feel lost and don’t want to hope anymore. Today after being discharged from the hospital discharged from fertility treatment (as I’m on my own) I am trying to get my head around not having children of my own. I’m over people who already have children telling me it’s going to be okay. I know I’m not in a great place and i guess I just needed to get some stuff off my chest. So a bit of a moan and a downer (apologies) just feels like I wanted to share with people who get it.

[ochy1]

I think it may be possible to have fertility treatment as a single woman, using donor sperm.

[Hidden in reply to ochy1]

Thanks for your reply. It is possible just not under the NHS- so I’ll have to pay privately for it... which at the moment is not possible.

[Margt34]

Life can be so cruel the yearning you feel is natural.Hopefully one day you will meet someone who can look beyond your infertility and you can look forward again. Sending hugs xxx

[Bambi__]

Hi. I have just begun reading a book called living the life unexpected by Jody Day. I haven’t got far so can’t comment if it’s helpful or not but it’s about accepting that children might not be a part of your future. I’m not ready to give up on being a mum but I’ve decided to do some work in accepting my situation then if by some miracle I do have a baby, great and if not then hopefully I’ll be in a better head space to accept that too.

I’m so sorry to hear your story. I can’t begin to imagine how you feel but it sounds as if you and your husband were not right for each other anyway and having a baby on wobbly foundations is never a good idea. You do still have time and I know the older you get the harder it becomes. I’m 36 so I know that time running out feeling but anything could happen. You could meet someone wonderful and live a wonderful life and there is still hope children could be your future. In the meantime work on yourself and begin to heal from you divorce. Sending you so much love 💕

[Hidden in reply to Bambi__]

Hi Bambi, thank you so much for your message- it is nice (not the right term) to know other people get the feeling cause the loneliness of the situation is another battle. I will have a look for the book by Jody Day- anything I can do. I’m really tired of hoping at the moment but I do want that to change!

Wishing you all the best on your journey and thank you again you’ve no idea how much your message warmed my heart ❤️

[lc01sw]

Sorry to hear what you have been going through, have you thought of having counseling? Hope you find happiness in the future. Take care

[Hidden in reply to lc01sw]

Yeah I am going counselling to help me through. Thanks so much for you words x

[lc01sw]

Your welcome! Hope you benefit from it , I am under going counseling myself and have a few times over the years