Baby talk @work :(

Tell me how u lot have dealt with baby talk at work?

A colleague is going on maternity in March next year and I’ve already got anxiety about the week leading up to her leaving with all the presents and good byes etc - do I tell my boss or what should I do have day off sick?

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  • Hi lightl

    Totally empathise

    I’ve been quite lucky up till now, only having to deal with occasional baby/child chat, managing to avoid any pregnancies, however there is now a lady at work who has recently announced her ‘surprise’ pregnancy - her 1st. Think she due late April. Not looking forward to her blooming in the coming months.

    A couple of weeks ago she had her 1st scan and delighted in shoving the scan photo under mine and everyone’s else’s nose! I was so shocked I didn’t really know how to react! In fairness she doesn’t know my situation.

    I did consider taking her to one side and telling her, but then didn’t want to come across as the party pooper! Mad or what!

    The saving grace is that she doesn’t sit in my room, so I am spared most of the chat. If I do have to go into her room and there is pregnancy / baby chat, I usually find some excuse to leave the room quickly!

    My boss knows my situation (that I’ve suffered 4 miscarriages) and I’ve said to him, I’ll just have to see how it goes and take each day at a time.

    Thankfully he is very kind and understanding, even though he’s half my age!

    X

  • Hi lightly,

    thanks for your post. I think we have all had to 'deal' with this one 😪

    I work in an industry dominated by young women who seem to be constantly getting pregnant. And I still haven't found a good way of dealing with it. I once left a company because all my team were getting married and falling pregnant. And I then went to a new job where within three months my colleague then announced her pregnancy. 😥

    I tend to remove myself from conversations and situations as much as I can to keep myself somewhat sane. I found the less enthusiasm you have the more they will leave you alone. But seeing this everyday is very hard. Taking time out from these situations is the most helpful...So taking a day off or working from home is a great idea.

    I have had to take two positions covering women's maternity when I was out of work and this was especially hard. Seeing them come into the office with their babies is tough. Hearing all the women in your team arrange baby dates is also a reminder of your exclusion from this world.

    Someone posted on here a link on fertility network which you can send colleagues about your situation and advising them on how to handle this. I never knew about this, but might have sent it out if I had known. X

  • Have either of you got signed off work at any point? I am really struggling with just being happy and engaging I don’t know what to say to the doc I cry a lot x

  • Hi lightl

    I hope you have taken time off work, it sounds to me you need it, take some me time. At least in your situation, when pg lady has gone the baby talk will be less.

    Tc x

  • Hi lightl I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I know it can be much easier said than done but it would be good to talk to your boss - you have to decide though as you now them and how you think they may deal with it. One of our MTL members recently had an article published about how children being in the workplace affected her as a childless woman. In her case she did speak to her employer and the result was very positive. In time we want to work with all employers as Fertility and Infertility policies should be part of the usual HR policies. Have a read and see if it helps you make a decision.

    hrmagazine.co.uk/article-de...

    Please know that you are not alone in this, others have and will experience the same feelings, it is totally normal. Hopefully you find a solution to deal with it, but I, and the amazing community of people we have here, are here to support you through it whatever happens.

    Best wishes,

    Cat

    cat@fertilitynetworkuk.org

  • if its going to upset you then make up an excuse not to be there when the baby presents are given out. When they start giving out the presents and doing the announcements make up an excuse to leave the room.

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