Could there be a more cruel time of the month? - More To Life

More To Life

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Could there be a more cruel time of the month?


Without wanting to overshare, I got my period on Monday. As is often the case, the pain woke me up in the middle of the night so I took some painkillers and then lay there unable to sleep until they kicked in. As I was lying there, it struck me that having a period now feels so cruel. I've always had painful and difficult ones but they were always a means to an end so I tolerated them. Now they're just a reminder a) that I'm not pregnant and b) I never will be.

It's not often that I feel angry about my situation, usually it just gets me down. This made me angry though because it feels so cruel to have a period for no apparent reason. Why not just have it all cut out and put an end to them? I spend the week before vacillating between having the rage and wanting to cry, while feeling bloated like a whale and then suffer pain, sleepless nights and exhaustion the week itself. So I get to feel like myself (whatever that is at the moment) for just half the month. Great.

I sit opposite a lady at work who is going through the change. That doesn't sound like it's much more fun.

Can you tell that I'm feeling particularly sorry for myself at the moment....

12 Replies

Sorry to hear you're having a tough one. I also hate my periods...It seems like a poisoned gift that it's the only constant thing in my life. I can rely on it always to come. A painful reminder of loss.

Berry_Girl in reply to Hidden

Wow, I hadn't thought of it like that but you're right. Annoyingly, it's the one thing you can rely on to happen like clockwork isn't it!

Hi hun sorry about this . . .I had these bad pains too. I went to the doctor and they sent me for a scan. They found out I had fibroids which was causing the pain. I would go to the doctor and get transferred to the hospital for a transvaginal scan. I had surgery to remove the fibroid and now my periods are regular and not as painful as before. It could be a number of things, so I would definitely push to get referred . .big hugs x

Berry_Girl in reply to ditsy999

I've had a lot of scans over the past year while they were trying to figure out why I haven't conceived and they did say that they found a fibroid but I think it was only a small one so not worth removing. I was due to have another scan but that was months ago and an appointment has never come through. Thanks for mentioning it though, I'll ring the hospital and chase it up. It might not help figure out why I'm not getting pregnant but if it could help ease my periods it would be worth the hassle. Thank you for the kick up the bum I needed on that. :) x

ditsy999 in reply to Berry_Girl

Hi, When they discovered my fibroid they removed it pretty quickly as it can affect you trying to conceive. The hospital said it can stop you conceiving, not sure if the size of the fibroid makes a difference. Definitely chase it up as it could mean less painful periods for yourself. Sometimes you have to pressure the doctors/hospital for what you need as they are fairly relaxed unless you push them for what you need. Good luck and I hope they find the solution or at least make things a little better for you xx

Berry_Girl in reply to ditsy999

Thank you, it would be nice for some good to come out of all the tests.x

I often think what's the point of periods too. Mine aren't painful thankfully, just annoying & a monthly reminder that there won't be a baby for us. But long term it's supposed to help prevent osteoporosis. My mum didn't go through the menopause until 59 so probably many years of pointless periods to get through!

Berry_Girl in reply to pm27

I didn't know that about osteoporosis. That's something I suppose right!

I can relate. You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself lovely. You are going though a real tough time and periods are just another painful reminder...

I ended up going on the mini pill, which sort of puts a different stance on the monthly cycle.

Berry_Girl in reply to Ellen6

Thank you for your kind words, you've made this difficult week a bit more bearable. I hope you have a lovely weekend.x

Ellen6 in reply to Berry_Girl

You are welcome. We are in this together. This site really does help you feel less alone.

Have a good weekend yourself. Try and do something that is for YOU and that you enjoy. Or maybe something nice with your partner. Marks and Spencer's have some very nice Dine in for Two Valentines meal deals. 😋 🍸🍴 ❤️ X

This may not be of help as you may not be ready for it. I also had to put up with painful periods, mine were due to having polyps. A consultant told me the only way to stop them was to have a coil fitted but since I was about to have my last ivf cycle this was no good at the time. Anyway once we stopped a asked my GP about it but I had to wait till they thought I was ready. Now its there periods are so much easier. Talk to the more to life counsellor about the coil, she was very good with me, but that was some time ago.

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