I had never heard of Amitriptyline until my doctor suggested I take 1 every night to help with lower back pain....the only thing she really said was make sure to take it at night as it will make you sleepy..."Fair enough." I said and I left with my new medication to add to the collection. I am already on Codeine Phosphate for the back pain 30mg and Sertraline for depression. So I get home and 9pm rolls around I get a drink and take 1 10mg Amitriptyline see if this helps me get a half decent sleep without suffering with back pain. Keep in mind all I knew was that these cause drowsiness as well as Codeine does so I didn't doubt I would probably get a bit of a good nights sleep. After about 2 hours I started to feel a good feeling and I just put it down to the Amitriptyline and the Codeine mix and I'm not going to lie I liked it so I thought if this is how I feel after taking these I'm in for a good old ride. Just as I suspected I did get a good nights sleep BUT as we all know....what goes up...must come down.....And down it did! I woke up and I sat up and felt so foggy and I could barely keep my eyes open I wanted nothing more than to sleep for the rest of the day but my 2 year old had other ideas and my 12 year old needed breakfast etc before school so I dragged my self out of bed. I just thought this was because I wasn't used to them and I will carry on taking them.
About 2 weeks flew by in a big cloudy haze and I literally felt like a Zombie and people had started to notice. Apart from this and maybe feeling a bit anxious there was nothing else that stood out and I just put it down to my body getting used to taking them.
2 weeks turned to 2 months and things had got worse. I was still waking up after a decent amount of sleep and feeling like I had been run over by a bus and I would feel like that for the best part of the day which then made me feel useless and depressed because I didn't want or even have the energy to do most things. My fiance noticed all these changes he also noticed a bit of weight gain...well to be honest it was hard not to notice my body gaining a bit of timber, being 9stone 2lbs for over 4 years and suddenly the seems on my jeans are clinging on for dear life. Usually I wouldn't question what the doctor says which is quite naive of me trusting someone with my body, my mental state, my mind, my organs. I suppose I just assume "they know what they are doing." So I decided to do abit of research of my own. This was the first time I learned Amitriptiline was also an anti-depressant which I found to be quite odd because to say I was now taking 2 different anti-depressants I felt like a sack of s@#t to put it bluntly. I also learned it was used to treat migraine and the side effects of taking it are headaches...I will let that sink in....a medication used to treat a symptom can cause the same symptom...🥴 NOT TODAY SATAN! I hurriedly walked to my tablets scooped them evil little b@#tards up and put them down the toilet and watched them swish and whirl into the sewers where they belong, not in my body causing more problems than I originally had. I batted my hands together turned away and walked out thinking "Ahh that's the end of that demonic presence in my house." So there I was free of Amitripiline I sat on my bed feeling a sense of relief to get back to my normal less tired, less snappy, less chubby self.
Me; "I am glad I was only on them for 2 months it won't take long before they are out of my system."
Amitriptyline; "Am I a joke to you?"
The first night I actually craved one so much and I didn't sleep a wink all night I just lay awake tossing and turning, sweating and feeling as though I was having hot flushes. It was a very long night and day but I thought I am probably over the worst now and boy was I wrong. Day 2 came and the symptoms had got worse I had this over whelming sense of fear especially if I was alone or if it was quiet and this lasted all day and as the sun began to set and the darkness crept in I felt every second of darkness taking over me I felt as I lay in bed staring into the abyss, the abyss stared right back and I honestly felt scared for my life. What made this feeling intensify was on the 3rd night I was lay there and I kept seeing flashes and shadows etc whizzing past me or in my peripheral vision and as I looked from left to right scanning my bedroom I could hear this buzzing sound....it only happened when I moved my eyes. This was disturbing! If it was quite I could hear it loud almost as if a bee kept flying past my ear but if there was noise, talking, TV or I had headphones in, I couldn't hear it as loud. Another thing was in the moments I finally drifted off to sleep I would get what can only be described as an electric volt shooting through my head and I would jolt and wake up. ( I later learned this was brain zaps) I called my doctor a few times over this period and she said it will subside in a few days and to call back if I feel worse. It was 9 weeks later and I was still experiencing brain zaps and noisy eyes. 1 thing I can say was the ONLY good thing was I went back to waking up and feeling normal and could spring out of bed and get on with my day as the days started to feel a bit better but at night I still felt the overwhelming sense of fear, dread, the impending feeling of doom. Imagine you are walking through a forest and suddenly a tiger appears infront of you, imagine the feeling you would feel? This is when fight or flight would kick in because you where terrified, well this is how I was feeling minus the tiger being visible. It was horrendous. Sometimes I almost felt I was under spiritual attack and I would be certain I could hear things and when I closed my eyes I could see images of things, people, places and animals. Some looked like women and children from the Victorian days waiting for a train checking their watches and I would open my eyes and still see them. Sometimes they would look at me and I would freeze but I told myself it wasn't real. I ended up calling my doctor and asking her why in the world would she put me on a drug I can only imagine the devil made to mess with people and not give me a little heads up about the side effects or a little nudge and say "You might experience a parade of people who aren't really there and your blood pressure may go sky high and also mess with your mind but you will be fine. Oh and if you can handle suicidal thoughts being sleep deprived with no help off us trusted doctors then just go ahead and take them." You know something like that would of been a start. Just subtle hints.
Anyway this is my experience and I wanted to share it because if you are like me and you just go with what the doctor says you could end up a hot mess even after 4 months of still having "noisy eyes" I do know this will be different for every individual and some people swear by it but for me it was an absolute nightmare I never want to live again.
If you made it this far thanks for reading and I hope you are well if you wish to share experience or want to compare experiences please do so.
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