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Grateful for feeling part of a community

Scarlett28 profile image
5 Replies

Hi, I’m fairly new here and already feel a little less alone. I’m still coping with childhood emotional neglect that has made me insecure & untrusting. I married because he made me feel safe & secure & he thought he could fix me….now divorced. Crazily I moved back near my parents & I’m trying to work through my feelings as I spend more time with them.

Just wanted to introduce myself a bit and thank you all for making me feel accepted.

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Scarlett28 profile image
Scarlett28
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5 Replies
Truename12 profile image
Truename12

Sounds a bit like my path Scarlet. Good luck with reaching out to your parents. I’ve been doing the same thing but it has only been possible without the help of a good therapist. I can’t come right out and tell my parents how much they have hurt me and have them be open to me. I’m even older than you and my goal is to just create some peace in the family with this intergenerational trauma while there is still time. My parents are in their 80s.

Scarlett28 profile image
Scarlett28 in reply to Truename12

Thank you. I see my parents weekly but limit my time and stay high level which seems to work the best for us all. They don’t like talking about emotions. My counselor told me to stop talking to them since they trigger my terrible feelings, I don’t agree. Family is a strong value of mine and you sometimes have to to take the bad with the good. I wish you and your family peace🙏

Truename12 profile image
Truename12 in reply to Scarlett28

Good on you!

Hi Scarlett, I grew up with similar emotional neglect exacerbated by a traumatic divorce where I was used as the pawn. Still dealing with feelings of low self esteem, self worth, insecurity & self loathing. I chose I different path and never married or had children. Big commitment & abandonment issues. Now I'm isolated and alone with all kinds of social anxiety. I want friends/companionship but I'm too scared to risk being hurt. Glad to hear your working on your relationship with your parents. We only have a limited amount of time to work things out. My mom has long since passed on. My dad & I struggle to communicate. So many triggers from the past pop up when I least expect it. Keep trying as long as you feel good about yourself and your progress. I'm proud of you. Good luck.

Scarlett28 profile image
Scarlett28

My parents probably should have divorced instead they are still fighting. I chose not to have children either. Having to be responsible for my sibling at such a young age left me resentful. I now have 2 nieces and watching the cycle continue😔. I am completely fried after each visit just trying to keep the smile on. They make me feel worse about the way I feel so I don’t share much about me anymore. I can empathize with everything you have said.

Do you someone you talk to?

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