Help me improve some more

[teen_anxiety]

Hi guys, so today I am trying to improve on 2 things lets do it together:

1. being less dramatic

2. being less needy

share how you do this or any tips and advice you have for all of us still trying to work on these areas.

PS to my friends who might see this you have done nothing wrong it is me who did (well at least that is how I feel so do not feel bad).

[Hidden]

You need to understand other people around you have issues as well as yourself. Consider there baggage and take the spelk out of their eye only after you remove the plank from yours. Try counting to ten before opening your mouth.

BOB

[teen_anxiety in reply to Hidden]

huh?

[FriendlyDude]

These 2 things you’re talking about are mostly perspective-based in my opinion. What “dramatic” is to one person could be entirely not dramatic to another. It all just depends on how people view things. Same goes with needy. Remember that there’s no way of truly knowing someone’s perspective unless they make it known. If someone does make it known to you, then try to accommodate that, but if you don’t know just focus on your part

In your position, if you feel like you’re going to be too needy or dramatic, take a moment to reflect and evaluate your needs. Being needy isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if you truly need help with something. Reaching out for help in a sincere manner for a genuine concern is a good thing. It means you’re brave enough to be humble and ask for needed help; you’re choosing to do something about whatever’s going on in a real effort to make things better. When you’re sincere about it and genuinely trying to improve. Isn’t that what matters? People do see that, and if you’re doing those things, the number of times you ask for help isn’t what’s important here, it’s that you persevere until you succeed and as long as you truly need help from others, the people who love you will do their best to be there every step of the way

You can even warn people if you really think it might be ‘dramatic.’ It could literally be something like: “Hey, I need to get something out of my system. It might get pretty dramatic, are you okay with that?” If you put it like that, they have an opportunity to tell you if they’re okay with proceeding, and this example also expressed a need for release, so there was already an intention of moving forward with whatever’s going on. Also, don’t be afraid to specifically ask if you’re being too needy or dramatic, people can literally answer that for you and then you know

Issues with being needy or dramatic only really come up when people force their problems on people, are excessive about it and have no intention of doing anything about it to make things better (usually in combination with a call for attention). I personally don’t mind if people light fireworks to tell me they need help. As long as the need is real and they’re willing to make a genuine effort to improve, I’ll be there to help

When you ask for help you can try to phrase it in a way that expresses the fact you’re not trying to be dramatic. “I’m trying to do something, but I can’t seem to figure it out on my own. Can I talk to you about it? It’s important to me” In that example, I emphasized that effort is being made, there is a need, and then the part that allows the other person to make a decision. Do you see how this comes off as not dramatic? It sounds sincere and you’re not forcing it on them. It doesn’t sound like an exclusive call for attention either (some attention is okay, you have to catch their attention to talk to them after all, right? 😂), it sounds like someone already trying to do something, but they just need additional help. We don’t need to do everything on our own, there are people who love and care for us who can and are willing to help don’t make things any harder than it already is.

So, in sum: when/if you’re concerned about being dramatic or needy, try to reflect on any efforts you’re already making to handle things, think about what you can do differently moving forward, and evaluate your needs and whether or not that would involve asking other people for help. If you do ask others for help, ask with sincere urgency (I like that, sincere urgency. Expressing the reality of the need, but in a polite and earnest way), and then ask if they’re willing and comfortable with helping out. Maybe even be a bit vague with the issue at first to allow them to make a choice first, and then get into the root of the issue if they’re okay with it.

That’s a lot, and you may like some parts but not others, so use what’s relevant to your needs I hope this helps, and as always, I wish you the best

[teen_anxiety in reply to FriendlyDude]

in this case, the only reason I feel overdramatic is that people have told me that's what I am not because I think I am I feel like I have reason (ok well most of the time every once in a while I can agree that I am a bit dramatic)and the reason I feel needy is that I often ask the few people for help in the areas I am struggling in but then shy away when they ask me for help sometimes it is because I do not know how to help them and other times I think it is because I am scared to help people through their drama because I have been hurt by a few people that I have chosen to try and help and I know not everyone is going to hurt me but I guess the fear is still there.

[Chase888 in reply to teen_anxiety]

I get what you mean because I helped a woman out for 2 years and then one day I told her my mum had cancer and she said that I knew better than anyone about her problems and then I am telling her about my mum's cancer and don't I think she has enough on her plate.

That was it for me.