Cutting contact with a toxic relative

[Sunshine1968]

Has anyone, being an adult residing in your own household, had to cut contact long term with a close relative (parent, brother sister) because the communication with them was so toxic to you for such a long time that you decided to just cease any contact ?

[Hidden]

Yes Sunshine, I have nothing to do with my aunt. Talk about toxic!!!In her mind, she feels that if she has never heard of it, or it hasn't happened to her, it just does exist. She laughs at fat people or whatever she thinks is not to her liking. She has said so many nasty things to me, about myself or what consists of my life. Instead of calling me her niece, she introduced me as her sisters daughter. She knows nothing about life or people, since she never worked a day in her life, but she married a wealthy man. Her children and grandchildren are just as nasty as her.

I divorced myself from from that whole part of my family, so I do understand what you are talking about.

[Sunshine1968 in reply to Hidden]

I had an aunt, she was the kindest person you could ever meet, she was like a mother to me, I loved her so much and I still miss her, she died in 2004. My mother is the total opposite, she is mean, has no empathy, is emotionally abusive.........

[Hidden in reply to Sunshine1968]

Hi Sunshine, I am so glad you had a good aunt, but not happy that you had a bad mom. I didn't have a good anybody. I have been very mentally abusive by many. That's why I have no self esteem, and have nothing or nobody to live for. Good luck to you.

[Sunshine1968 in reply to Hidden]

Some of us went through severe abuse early in life, it's hard but try to transform the anger in energy, we can't erase the past but we can do better in the future. Do something for someone who needs help, helping others gives me purpose.

[Hidden in reply to Sunshine1968]

Thank you for the good ideas, but my abuse is very current, as well as throughout my life.

[socratesanne in reply to Hidden]

Live for your life to move on to assure a better future, despite those who did not know how to nurture. I know it seems impossible but one day a time, nurturing and reparenting yourself. Have a infographic that I will try to post on here that reminds me I no longer have to succumb to this poor abusive parenting that affected by entire early life.

CPTSD purely caused by the complexity of early childhood abuse resulting from inability of parents to nurture and frankly, in my case, physical abuse I had to endure by many. Parents have their own complicated history on how to handle little ones. Developmental stages need to be taught at the crib.

Little people need good folks to bring them into the world. I feel sorry for such people. Sad that many of us had to live without what we desperately needed for a good part of our upbringing. It has to be taught some where.

[Hidden in reply to socratesanne]

socrates, I am so sorry to hear that you endured so much physical abuse. You have a great attitude. Thank you for the kind words and help. What I have found is that people that have had a good experience growing up, don't appreciate what they have. We are the strong and at the same time empathetic to others, since we have had very hard lives. Although, I am so tired of being strong and a survivor in this life. My brain has been so damaged, that I have nothing left to give. I'm old and my life is over.

[Sunshine1968 in reply to Hidden]

You have something left to give, you post on this blog and the people who read your comments know they are not alone, and there are so many like us feeling like you do.

[Hidden in reply to Sunshine1968]

Sunshine, thank you for making me feel better

[Torri_____]

My husband and I am now doing my life for the first time trying to get better as he trained my complex ptsd anxiety into shutdown. So these types can really harm your own mental health! Stay safe and hugs it’s hard

[Sunshine1968 in reply to Torri_____]

Thanks for your reply Torri, I hope things get better for you fast xx

[socratesanne]

It is hard to believe these toxic folk put on a great facade, making one feel numb. I was in disbelief most of my life since as far back as age 3. I knew this was not right, but had not one to confide in as to the ramification of the extent of the toxicity. My body knew but I did not listen to it, just went on numb to abuse. Glad you are making a commitment to manage your respect for yourself. Take good care and know you are not alone.

[Sunshine1968 in reply to socratesanne]

So sorry Socratesanne, while the memory never fades, I hope you can find solace in life. You are not alone. Take care xx

[daveh121]

Same here in many ways.You are better off.

[RaqHazeleyes]

Yes definitely