I want to support my wife!: Hello, I’m... - Mental Health Sup...

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I want to support my wife!

BrianShaw26
BrianShaw26

Hello, I’m trying to see if anyone knows any good chat rooms or apps (or even helpful tips) for spouses who live with someone who is bipolar? My wife is having a hard time and doesn’t feel I’m there for her and I really would like to be. I just don’t know what to do and I think I’m making things worse.. TIA

6 Replies
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Hello pleased to meet you.

Please can I say sorry to hear you wife having some struggles.

Please if I can suggest some valid points may be relevant .

With any mental health condition it is worth seeking out professional guidance, advice and information.

Some times it is a good idea for two reasons one is the professionals can offer much needed relief and some one to understand.

Second focus on your wellbeing and be supportive to wards you.

Understand no one wants to take over or be in control it is all done with sensitive and kind open approach.

Used my own issues if you live in the UK.

Mental health charities.

All offer the following support and advice, wellbeing looking at every thing.

Including your personal circumstances and everything to cope. Including benefits and much more useful .

Might be worth also if you do not live in the UK looking on line in your community.

The websites.

These ones I have used.

richmondfellowship.org.uk

mind.org.uk

rethink.org

Please can I add might not be in all areas in the UK.

Please if I can help with anything . I have had mental health a long time have experience, knowledge expertise on a lot of aspects of mental health.

Happy to answer be supportive any thing you wished to know.

Please take care

Hi ,

I’m living with a husband who is bipolar and has had many ups and down over the years, we’ve been together 41 years. A couple bits of wisdom from this journey are .

1/ be the nurse/ supporter when needed and aim to look at what practically needs to be done

2/ don’t hide the illness from friends and family

3/ enjoy the good bits and remind your wife When she is suffering that things will move on and she will have better times Again

4/ don’t try to fix it , it’s not what she wants , just listen and support and be patient

Keep talking

Good advice has already been listed, but I just wanted to say don't lose sight of who you are and what you are already doing. You are a good husband and she is lucky to have you.

Have you talked to your Doctor, Social Worker or CPN.

They would normally instruct you on various ways to approach the problem.

Be firm but kind

Do not excuse bad behaviour, just because She is Bi=Polar, Sufferers still need to take responsibilities of their actions.

Consider looking into your Wife to attend a Day Centre, where She will mix with others and their problems and get support and advice from the Staff. Many can give additional support and advice. Talk to your Doctor or Health Professionals dealing with here treatments.

Sometimes Clinics are set up in hospitals that have day centres try and find out if there is anything like that she can attend. Remember you will need help possibly where you can get away for a time, the above can help you get out of the house and help you with some support especially if the condition is hard work

BOB

Hi BrainShaw,

I want to echo what other people have suggested.

Assuming you live in the UK, there's also an organisation called Mood Swings which may be able to offer you both support. moodswings.org.uk :-)

I hope you'll be able to give your wife the support she is needing to help her to manage better. Just remember that you're not responsible for her treatment etc., and try to be there for her as a husband, rather than in a therapist role. Go with her to an appointment or a support group as emotional support, for example, but gently encourage her to take responsibility for her own mental health and access the help herself.

If you're wife is requiring a particularly high level of long term support, you might be able to get yourself registered as a Carer, which could help you access further support for yourself. It might be worth having a chat to your GP about this. In order to be able to best support your wife, it's really important that you maintain your own health.

If you're both having a hard time in your relationship, you could also consider contacting Relate for relationship counselling. relate.org.uk

Please take care of yourself and remember that your well being is important too.

Xx

I'd say try the redit app and type in bipolar and join those groups where people have it, they are always posting about so it could be educational, I think you should also join the bipolar partners one as they are in the the same boat bit I would ignore the partner's on there that say we're monster's and bring up "bad behaviour " as if everyone with the illness behaves bad😔 please make your own opinion, your already doing doing great by coming on here and wanting to learn more for your wife but as someone with bipolar who has had it for about 4years I say you really need to take care of yourself too

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