Please don’t judge me but tonight I’m feeling stressed and upset. I really love my boyfriend and I don’t want to ruin my relationship. My boyfriend loves me a lot but has gotten so annoyed with me. I have anxiety and insecurities. I’m clingy and disrespectful. I’m sensitive and emotional. There are a lot of issues I need to work on but they have pushed my boyfriend away. I’m causing him to resent me.
My boyfriend is very loving and forgiving. He tries to be understanding and supportive and he’s patient. I have apologized so many times and I tell him I will change but I always go back to doing the same things. Please understand I want to change and I feel terrible for acting crazy.
My issues cause a lot of fights and recently, like a few days ago we had a fight. The fight could have easily been avoided if I was respectful towards him. We have talked since and the fight is resolved except I’m still feeling terrible and for a good reason.
Last night I was looking at old messages, the good, sweet and loving messages and it made me feel worse than the fight. I could really see how much he loves me and cares for me. It meant more to me than the first time I read them. They made me feel like a terrible girlfriend.
I just mostly needed to talk about this with someone but if anyone has words of encouragement or any advice, I would love to hear it. I really want to know if anyone was in this same situation and what methods helped you change.