I've had lifelong depression. Counselling helps a bit but medication has no effect and GPs don't help. Has anyone got any ideas?

[Frank860]

I've suffered from lifelong depression but it's got much worse recently. I have social phobia and often have frightening feelings of dread. I am told I am highly intelligent which can be a curse because perhaps I think too much. I've been in a really dark place for a long time now and can't face the world and find it difficult to function properly. Is anyone else like this?

[Mijmijkey74]

* TRIGGER WARNING * Yes. Me too, though not highly intelligent I personally feel. GP's useless, counseling helped a little but found it predictable & laughable. Medication useless on me far to many side effects that make me worse. I do have anxiety & depression, have had it for most of if not all of my life. Unsettled childhood from birth & disturbing plus traumatic events happening throughout my life up to present day have sealed my fate, but I don't mope or wallow. I live as I am comfortable to because somedays everything is far to heavy so I take care of me by switching off & out & resting. Doing that rebuilds me. I have a lot of fiesty determination within me, but do suffer from social phobia. My home is my home, but also kind of my sarcophagus/crypt/tomb/prison/behind bars cell. My place I'll die in sealed away my disappearance unnoticed. Only the flies on my windows or funny permeating smell will finally attract someone's attention. It's okay I accept that, we all die eventually one way or another. I know I'll die alone. I'm recovering still from serious illness & intubated induced coma almost 2 years now, only feels like 8 or 9 months ago, I completely get & understand all you have typed in your post. Depression stalks me everywhere, I try to shake it off, but it has weighted talons perched & digging into each shoulder & the ground is very unstable. Depression & anxiety even fall & follow me into my restless troubled but very needed sleep. I won't give you that - It gets better/easier with time nonsense. Think we both know it doesn't, it's just there always, infecting & decaying everything, following us like a hound from hell or a stray cat, I believe it makes me who I am, that without it now I'd be empty. It is a part of my internal fire. Don't ever listen to any negative thoughts suggesting things to you, they are tormentors & win if you pay those heed. Don't give those satisfaction EVER! Keep fighting, chop those talons in your mind, throw ice on the hound/hounds from hell & sing loud through suggestive thoughts. The ground feels unstable, but it isn't, it's firm so stamp on it hard!!!! And believe me, you are now in my thoughts. Smile even if it takes all your facial muscles & energy to do that, still do it, and keep it, it belongs to you. And if tears fall, well let them, those are okay & allowed. x

[nk1820 in reply to Mijmijkey74]

Wow, what excellent advice that I needed to hear . Those negative thoughts are defeating. I need to read your reply daily . Thank you.

[nk1820 in reply to Mijmijkey74]

Do you want to die alone ?

[Mijmijkey74 in reply to nk1820]

Thank you, was worried they would be read & taken negatively. I don't mind dying alone if happens naturally, but to die alone when injured and need help but alone so end up dying is not something I want. The thought of dying slowly alone injured or incapacitated in some way but still compusmentus scares me, but actual death doesn't scare me or maybe it does now because of the coma I was in. I don't know, not sure, but I don't spend any time worrying about it, it flips in and out of my thoughts often, but quickly in & out. Not retained and mulled over then analyzed & seriously worried about. No point, what will be, will most definitely be! 🤗

[RedBird09]

I totally feel the same way as you. I've fought mine for about 20+year's now. I have tried every medication out there. I'm severe Bipolar, Manic depressive, Schizophrenia-Parinoid and severe Anxiety. But seems like nothing helps. I still feel the same way. I still can't stop the rapid thoughts, the ups and downs, Crazy things that I do. I order things online and don't remember. I book myself vacations. Every day I get up to see what I have done the night before. I was always told I was highly intelligent. I was Vice President of Marketing and Sales. My degree was in HR. I tried that for many years and I went into sales. I wonder if I will ever be the same again. Mental illness is Real and I personally think people don't take it seriously enough.

[Hidden]

Please google: mindful meditation and relax and become calmer

[Viola9]

Me too! Severe anxiety, panic attacks and PTSD. Cannot leave the house! I agree with side effects of antidepressants and counseling had an negative impact on my health. Talking about reasons/situations that brought me to these conditions generated highly distressing emotions and ended in Cardiology ward.

Self-help is important, getting out of bed as soon as you can (I know is a struggle!) listening to relaxing music (birds, waterfalls, ocean sounds, aquarium...nature seems to have healing effects). Commedy films/ programs, knitting... drawing....being creative. Easy to say than to do ...but we need to try for ourselves! Don't neglect nutritional needs. I am taking Fortisip drinks/food supplements to help with indigestion.

My mother passed away last year and my world has shut down! I thought and hoped that I will cope and deal with this tragic event having a background of psychology, counseling and psychotherapy myself! No I didn't!

Still thinking which psychological approach would apply best to my complex of traumatic stress?

Every day I make a plan that would help me to get through to the next day.... Yes it's hard and gets harder when you live on your own and family or friends pretend you to be "mentally healthy" soon because you are an expert of subject!

Try to do something every day! Small steps ....we need to give ourselves a chance to live functionally.

Thank you for sharing and

Wishing you better x

[Mijmijkey74 in reply to Viola9]

Good sound advice. Hope you are battling and winning or even better have won and defeated it. x

[Mijmijkey74]

Hello Frank how are doing?