Emotional unstable personality disorder

[Kaytee1981]

So my CPN (mental health nurse) has mentioned wanting a review of my diagnosis (treatment resistant depression) along with my medication review next Friday. Shes mentioned emotional unstable personality disorder - had a Google and now I'm scared. What's peoples experience of EUPD or BPD? Treatment wise, living with it, relapse etc... I'm not sure I fit 100% but better forewarned

[Kaytee1981]

I dont understand how it can 'appear' in my late 30s tbh I just feel low and suicidal most the time.

Not sure what diagnosis I'd 'prefer' just feel a bit lost really

[Hidden]

Sometimes it is a good idea not to read up on a possible diagnosis of a Mental Health Concern. Allow the CPN and Doctor to explain your diagnosis. Looking up some problems will just make matters worse as you could overreact

Dependent on the health concern you have do you feel your condition was there when you were younger, or do you feel it has just developed ?

With my diagnosis in a way I was lucky because, I have a confirmed diagnosis, so it becomes easier sometimes to treat. Give yourself a break, discuss your Fears with your CPN.

BOB

[Kaytee1981 in reply to Hidden]

Giving myself a break is something I'm really really struggling with atm

[Hidden in reply to Kaytee1981]

We all feel the same way I suppose. I have always found when I sit and relax before bed if I do something for myself that I enjoy that can open yourself up and help to address those concerns that take up most of your time. You can check up on your concerns, say on MIND, that may help. However a heart to heart explanation with your Health Professionals will help you and lead you down that treatment pathway.

Kaytee, I have been disabled etc now for over thirty years, it took my Health Professionals two years to explain my mixed needs. Reading up conditions on Google can lead people down a pathway that is not correct for you. Allow your CPN to explain your needs and work it down from there. We are all different what is good for one is not good for another especially when your condition may have mixed causes and affects

BOB

[Kaytee1981 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Bob I'm just ridiculous low to the point of just wanting to walk out the door right now or take what pills I have. I feel no one 'gets it' or understands my desperation

[Hidden in reply to Kaytee1981]

I can understand how you must feel many people can feel they just want to walk out the door. I had something the same with My Family, I needed to walk away from the negativity or stress I was feeling, however strange for me I would have done something drastic if I was unable to retreat. Eventually in my case I had to walk away from family, that I did and never saw my family for eight years. My problem was because of my memory, I thought the walking out was just twelve months ago, I was living with my memory concern

If you needed to walk away for some time is there anywhere you could go, like relatives or friends in your area ?.

BOB

[Kaytee1981 in reply to Hidden]

No I dont have friends.

There isn't anywhere safe I can go - if I go out I more than likely wont come back

[Hidden in reply to Kaytee1981]

Kaytee

Could you find somewhere for yourself, sometimes moving out can be a life saver and help us to move on

BOB

[Kaytee1981 in reply to Hidden]

I moved out in the summer and ended up as an inpatient again!

I've said to my husband this afternoon that our relationship is causing a lot of problems but he just didnt say anything. We tried relate but they wouldn't see us cos of my mental health. I'm not prepared to give up on the marriage but I think that's maybe for more selfish reasons than anything and being scared too???

[Hidden in reply to Kaytee1981]

It sounds like Kaytee it may be a good idea to talk you your GP and try and arrange a course of CBT where you can talk out your fears and concerns.

BOB

[Kaytee1981 in reply to Hidden]

Feel I'm being really negative and dismissing everything you've suggested but...the gp wont touch me as I'm under mental health services - they do all medication, therapy etc as they are the 'experts' in MH not the GPs.

I'm on what I suspect is a very long waiting list for psychology but my CPN doesnt think I'm prepared for it as I apparently medicalise everything. I'm really, really,really hoping the appointment with the psychiatrist next Friday helps with something but arguable that's me medicalising it again 😏 I cant win.

Just need to try and make it to next week.

[Hidden in reply to Kaytee1981]

Good luck for next Friday, let us know how you get on

BOB

[Missy_D]

It's not the end of the world I wasn't diagnosed until December 2015 at the wrong side of 40. I take anti depressant and anti psychotic medication (of which you may or may not need) and completed STEPPS (strongly recommend) which is a psychological programme especially for BPD / EUPD and teaches you how to live with / cope with EUPD in a very positive way. I have lived with it all my life, despite the late diagnosis and knowing about it explained a lot to me and I have been able to deal with life better knowing that I feel & think they way I do because of the EUPD.

If you want to read more about EUPD then I would read the following which is on MIND's website mind.org.uk/information-sup.... I regularly read articles on this site as it is definitely less scary than Dr. Google

[Hidden]

Leave it alone until next Friday, See what is said and then you can sit down and discuss with the CPN. Generally depending on your condition treatment will depend on on that alone,they will work with you and will give as much support as possible.

Let us know how you get on

BOB

[Hidden]

The EUPD sounds like short-hand for bipolar personality disorder and if she did not specifically state that then she is hiding it from you using short-hand. But you also mentioned BPD which is commonly used for Borderline Personality Disorder. You can look those up to know the difference. Bipolar is the word they now use for manic/depressive disorder and schizophrenia, split personality. This is not a "good" mental state (as if any are, right?) as you well know. I am borderline cluster B anti-social personality disorder and a sociopath. But I also suffer from fetal depression (curled up in bed for as long as I can stand it), agoraphobia, seasonal affective disorder, social anxiety disorder, and probably a few I missed. It's possible I may have a streak of mania as well. It shows in my writing, both style and length. And my tendency to break out the credit cards at night and go online shopping. I'm sure that is some sort of gambling type addiction though I'm not a gambler. Perhaps it's the spending money or waiting to see what the other me did that night that the waking me has forgotten all about.