Why does having a scheduled freak me ... - Mental Health Sup...

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Why does having a scheduled freak me out?

I seem to have a particular problem with upcoming events. I’m not really sure where this has come from but I think I have been battling this for the past couple of years but have only just been able to pinpoint it as a trigger.

The problem starts when I know something is approaching, If I know that tomorrow I will need to go and meet my friend for whatever reason it will be all I can think about today. I don't necessarily dread it but I will count down the hours until it happens and then it will feel as if the thought of this event is crushing me. I then start to think of ways to cancel it or get it over quicker then it should be.

I understand that this sounds coo coo bananas and I have tried to rationalise this all in my head but I just can’t seem to break this thought pattern.

Going to work is the worst. I am looking for a new job so I know a part of it is me being unhappy with where I am currently but if I am at work the next day it presses on me the day before and it makes me feel as if everything I am doing today is a waste of time and that I have not made the most of the hours I have before I go to work (no matter what I do! I could cure the world of all illness and signal handedly save the whales but it would still be a waste is my mind.)

Closing shifts are harder than normal shifts because I go in mid-day so have all morning to count down what feels like every single minute.

Am I alone here? Does anyone else experience this or anything similar?

My main questions are Is there anything I can do about this? Any methods or techniques I can try to make tomorrow not sit on my chest? How do you control your own mind?

Any advice or stories are welcome.

18 Replies
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Hi LizyR and thank you for your post. Have you discussed the way you are feeling with your GP? He/she will be able to support you with this. Some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may help you to cope with and manage these feelings of anxiety you are currently experiencing. There may be a mental health nurse attached to your GP practice who could also help you and give you some coping strategies. Things should improve when you are happier at work and best wishes with looking for a new job. Do let us know how you are getting on with this. Try to find time for some relaxation also, as this will help to address your anxiety. You may find the following websites helpful--

MOODJUICE-selfhelpResource site

https;//www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk

Moodzone-NHS.UK.NHSChoices

www.nhsuk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression

Are any other members able to help LizyR, please?

Thank you and best wishes.

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I have previously been to my GP but the underlining message was “if you have bad thoughts or want to hurt yourself call a helpline”

I don’t feel like they had much to offer me and even with my other medical condition (endometriosis) they seem more worried about the time I’m taking up and try to get me out of the door as soon as possible.

I will however try the links that you have sent and see if they can offer me anymore help.

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Hi LizyR and thank you for your reply. Please let us know how you are getting on. Thank you and best wishes.

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My favorite days are the ones when I have nothing to do. Days that have appointments or schedules mean I have a responsibility or am accountable to someone. I think it has to do with self esteem and self confidence . It's much easier now that I am older. When I was younger it worried me more, and I would do a lot of unnecessary thinking about it. To get over it, it is important to keep to a schedule and reward yourself every so many days. Small rewards or free days. Try to live in the moment, and yes you can learn to control your thinking. Pam

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That’s an interesting thought actually, maybe I should add a few more things in to my schedule. I’m so used to this way of thinking that I will often try not to plan anything at all.

I’ll give this a try but I am really glad to hear yours has gotten better with age.

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Some things get better with age and some things not so much. lol

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How do you spend your downtime? I wondered if when you’re not working you’re having to justify to yourself why you’re relaxing?

When you go on holiday do you find it difficult to relax and sit still, do you feel the need to be ‘doing something’?

Do you feel guilty when you do sit and relax? As though you shouldn’t be?

My partner says I get guilty for being still!

If I’m off work and I get my household tasks done then I’m bored rigid... like you say, it feels like I’m wasting precious time regardless.

I think being busy helps me BUT it has to be my choice of what gets done! It’s a control thing perhaps then...I need to be in control of my day, my self or I feel like I’m spiralling.

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I’m the same with the ‘it needs to be my idea to get done’ and honestly I’m a bit of a mix. Sometimes I’m up cleaning the whole house and I taught myself to knit and crochet to keep my hands and mind busy yet other times I don’t want to do anything at all.

Though I must admit those days are a lot rarer now but I do feel lazy most of the time.

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I too worry about upcoming events.

To the point I’m thinking about the whole episode over and over.

It causes stress and anxiety

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It is very stressful!, have you been able to find anything that helps you through these times?

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I’m not sure sure why I even worry!

I deal with it by putting things off or simply pushing myself through it.

It’s almost gut wrenching at times!

I know if I plan too much it becomes unbearable.

I prefer to take each day as it comes but I know life doesn’t work like that!

Tony

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I’m exactly the same, I really am trying to take one day at a time. I can just be so hard

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Bless you. It doesn’t make it better but your not alone. I know it sounds weird almost selfish but I do find it a little comforting that I’m not the only person with problems.

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I was actually thinking the same 😂 I find it helps me out so much more just to know that I’m not alone. Especially when the people close to you don’t know what you are talking about

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I’m 35 and my family and mates don’t understand at all.

They listen but it doesn’t go in!

Frustrating to say the least

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SOUND LIKE U HAVE ANXIETY TLK WITH UR DOC BOUT THIS

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Hi LizyR!

Reading the title of your post made me smile.

I’m not exactly the same but there’s certainly elements that ring true.

I actually became self employed because I find it an easier life having new jobs each day than having the same job and answering to someone else everyday.

If I were to pin it down then I’d say that my anxiety causes me to feel irritable/intolerable/frustrated/anxious/etc when I’m ‘expected’ to be somewhere and the more pressure there is on that the more I can feel like running the other way.

The work that I do (have my own cleaning business) is flexible and I don’t have regular weekly clients so that I avoid the above! 😂

The people I do work for (estate agents/landlords) have a ver6 good opinion of me and when I work for them I feel great after as appreciated...this lifts my mood and on the whole my job is better than any meds I’ve had!

Totally get the anxious thing though, I used to work in hospitals, dental surgeries etc and being expected to turn up and do as I was told/ follow others orders just puts a cloud over me...I hated going and felt I was constantly under someone’s gaze. I feel free now...it’s bliss.

I think I am crazy 😂

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I too think I’m crazy 😂 I have never thought that it may be expectation related or a feeling of under-appreciation (which I definitely feel working in retail) 🤔 maybe I should be looking into more independent job roles.

I’m so happy that you have found something that makes you happy, all of the replies I have gotten on this post has made me feel so hopeful.

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