THE MOUNTAIN IS JUST TOO HIGH AND THE LOAD TOO HEAVY

[sweetiepye]

I haven't been around much because I'm so weighed down by my own problems that I don't have a lot to give right now. I am not thinking of ending it all I need a plan and the energy to work on it. I am so tired I sit thinking and hours go by.The confrontation I had with my son last Sept. is still going on. He doesn't speak to me and no one in my family sticks up for me although they say I did nothing wrong. My health care team seems to have given up on me. They tell me there is nothing they can do for me. The therapy I recently started is bringing up some ugly stuff. I hope that means it's working. So how does this look from the outside ? From the inside it's a tar pit.Pam

[Hidden]

Pam

Sorry you are still living through in a way, the problems you had in September,

In a way I am like you with my family and this now will just play out and all will eventually move into history where I will become that none existent family member with no-one talks about me. I would now feel any photographs of me when young will now be burn or thrown away

Now having problems, I am now falling quite regular, I have been away for a month and nearly ended up in hospital after falling on a step, I pulled my ankle and cut myself falling against a sandstone wall I also damaged my hand and thumb and also twisted my bad ankle, Another time my new trick I trip up over my toes or so it seems.

I find now if I turn to talk to someone I seem to loose balance, I did this in the park and fell it was lucky I was standing on grass.

Like you I do not feel in any danger with my own hands, although I do feel if this gets worse I will fall in the garden and that will be that We have many hard surfaces and ingenious tools that if I fall can cause real damage.

Talk to your GP if you are feeling upset regards family it cannot be good for you and as we get older things can be blown up more by our own weaknesses. That can really have so many negative affects and you can do without them.

Therapists sometimes can bring out some nasty things, then fail to instruct how to fully put them to bed. My last therapist last year blurted out when Hazel was around something that was sorted and was best forgotten, I could have hit her with a feather !!!, you understand

You take care and keep a hold.

BOBxx

[sweetiepye in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Borderriever and En1234. Two of my always count on friends. It helps to know you're here with help and caring.Pam

[En1234]

Awe Sweetiepye,

I am so sorry to hear that you have not been that great. I always looked forward to your comments and had actually noticed that you have not been around much. I just assumed that things were going OK with you and maybe you were just getting on that well in life now that you did not come on that often any more. I know that any time I posted I always got very positive and wise comments from you and the fact that you don't sugar-coat things is what I love about you!!

I seem to remember a wedding you attended and comments you had made about a certain haircut which really made me chuckle.

Its not nice when you feel that people who you would most expect support from are not there for you or when you feel that people have given up on you.

I know that you will get lots of replies in relation to your post because there are lots of us on here who absolutely love you and will hate (like myself) to hear that you are not great just now. I sincerely hope things start looking up for you soon and you start to feel better.

I think therapy sessions are designed for us to talk and get all the "bad" stuff out. Once the bad stuff is out then we can maybe start feeling "cleaner".. (?) on the inside. When you keep things bottled up, it just builds and builds. If you can talk and get rid of the tar, then so be it. I keep my fingers crossed that things get better for you. You have been through so much, what with your decision to move and then moving and in my eyes you have always been such a brave and strong person and someone I look up to and have a lot of respect for.

Please keep talking Pam (even if it is just on here), as you know you have lots of friends on here. At least we will listen and try to help.

Sending you lots of hugs and kisses!!

Theresa... XXXXXXXXXX

[Celtic27]

Hi pam I'm so glad to see your still around it's a shame the troubles with your son are still on going I wish I could just grab him by throat and shake him and tell him you only get one mother I wish I still had my mother but I lost her about 3/4 years ago! So no matter what problems he has with you does he really want to be wishing he had made up with you if something happened to you I get really angry at selfish little boy and that's how he's behaving! I remember you as a lovely person to chat on this group long may it continue! Regards your family maybe they rightly or wrongly don't want to get involved incase they make matters worse! Have a chat with your mental health team and tell them your unhappy with how things are going you might find clearing the air may help! Again it was nice to see your still with the group please take care All the best!

[sweetiepye]

It is so good to hear from you another of my trusted friends. I agree with you, my son is making this incident into something much larger than it is which tells me it's really about something else. I have no idea what that might be, but I do know it's better to tell people in a calm way when they do something that bothers you instead of keeping it in and letting it fester. As he isn't speaking to me I may never know. I have never not spoken to someone in my entire life. I always want to talk and tell them just how wrong they are. LOL Pam