I don’t know what’s wrong with me..

[99oz6]

So, I’ve been battling mental issues for YEARS now. I have terrible anxiety and waves of depression. I constantly forget things and a lot of times I feel dead on the inside. I used to be the bubbly fun type but now I’m completely to myself. I regret EVERY decision I’ve made. I dropped out of school (a year before graduating m) then shortly after was evicted from my apartment. I often feel like no one wants me around & I know it’s because of my awkwardness. I get drunk on the regular and it’s the only way I can be comfortable , especially around other people. I am very one track minded and sometimes lack common sense because of how much stuff is on my mind... I’ve been fired from two jobs because of the fact that I’m forgetful. I feel that I’ve actually ruined my life with my decisions. It’s hard for me to do simple things sometimes. Also, I have issues with my appearance. I sometimes feel like no one cares about me so why should I care about myself. I’ve ruined relationships and friends due to my moodiness. I feel so alone... I feel like I want to die a lot of days thinking about how I’ve become.. and I know I need professional help because I can’t live like this anymore.

[kenster1]

hi welcome to you sorry to read of your troubles seeking help could b the best thing you do this year it really will help.

[99oz6 in reply to kenster1]

Yes because I need it very badly. My life is a mess

[Hidden]

First try doctors, GP they will guide you to counselling or recovery college courses or something. Reading self help books or youtube -might be another option

[99oz6 in reply to Hidden]

What’s GP?? And yes I’m working on getting a counselor for sure because I need serious help

[sweetiepye]

Hello, I think the first two responses you've gotten are very wise advice. Professional help is a good idea and will get you on the right track. You seem very self aware which gives you a head start. I'm sure you know you are using alcohol to numb your pain, but the problem is it causes or contributes to all your other issues. Some things you could try on your own is take care of your body to counter act the toll drinking takes. Eat healthy, take vitamins , try walking, get plenty of sleep. I know this is easier to say than to do. If you try one thing and get used to that it won't seem as over whelming as trying to make a lot of changes at once.You've got to put the brakes on and slow this train down, Pam

[99oz6 in reply to sweetiepye]

Yes you’re right but I feel so horrible about my mistakes.. I feel that I’m a burden to everyone and it hurts really bad...

[sweetiepye in reply to 99oz6]

I'm sure you do regret your mistakes I know I regret mine. Everyone makes them and we just have to apologize and move on . Don't be so hard on yourself, its non productive. You can take this opportunity to make up for past mistakes by going forward and not looking back. Pam

[99oz6 in reply to sweetiepye]

You’re right but it’s easier said than done..... it’s so embarrassing looking back at things of done and how I’ve done them. A lot of relationships have been ruined due to things I’ve done. I feel so stupid

[sweetiepye in reply to 99oz6]

Sorry for the delay, Im watching my granddaughter today. Try to let yesterday go, mistakes are learning opportunities and you are probably the only one bothered by them. Life is a process. Maybe keeping a journal of "things I'll never do again" will help you get these things off your mind.

[Rick1on1]

There are many things that you can do to start tackling these problems and issues without the help of a professional. If you can afford it then be please do so asap.

If you cant, we can help in this forum. Do you want to talk about those regrets first?

[99oz6 in reply to Rick1on1]

The regrets go on and on.... lol I have way too many but a lot of them come from the way I’ve treated others in the past..... Also, I’ve lost touch of reality, a lot or days I feel like life is a complete blur... I hate this feeling.

[kenster1]

don't be to hard on yourself we all go through life making mistakes for one reason or another its how we learn from them that really matters.

[Hidden]

You mention your need for a Therapist although I think, you have not been seen by a Family/ Doctor or been prescribed by any type of medication. It is important you make an appointment with your Doctor. Make a list of your problems and concerns this will help you remember all your problems and concerns caused by your mental health problem.

We do not know where you are from, although I feel you do not live in Europe if that is the case your priorities and ways of getting help may be different to ours. For example a GP in the UK is a Family Doctor

BOB

[Abestar]

You’ve had some great feedback here. It’s ultimately where you choose to place your focus, the past, the present or the future.

As you’ve said it’s easier said than done. True. Making peace with yourself

is a good starting place, with the right kind of professional support.

[Dessertmouse58]

Aside from feeling out sorts, your husband is going through a tough time. If there’s a way for you two, to see family members who can alivevate your financial burdens., that will help both of you. Then focus on seeing your doctor about what your going through emotionally. Will help you tremendously!

[Dessertmouse58]

Are you a writer? Can you list things as situations come along that can be controlled? Form a routine .. 1. Get up in the morning, take a shower, make breakfast, dress up the nicest way you can. Look around your place and clean up your home, do laundry, Take care of the simple stuff, The bigger issues like self love and self esteem, see a therapist, you can’t fix yourself when your feeling overwhelmed., find a doctor that can give you sold guidance.

[Jukieh]

It must be terrible feeling like this x

[Elfje]

I feel for you

I know how hard it is 😟