Anyone out there I can talk to? :( feeling terrified...severe panic disorder is ruining my life and my ... TRIGGER WARNING

[Delmaria111]

I habe been struggling with horrific anxiety for years and formed a dependence on the opiod medicine tramadol. I am now weaning off that med and I am terrified. I am on seroquel XR and that helps the depression/thoughts of suicide but dealing with such severe anxiety while waiting for a new med is almost impossible. It feels like there are butterflies made of metal cutting up my heart. I just started busiprone (spelling?) and am praying that it will work. I have valium to help me wean off the tramadol but even that only helps for a moment. I just started trying to exercise every day and I play video games to keep myself occupied. The chest pain and mental anguish is so much though and I think I need others to talk to who are going through something similar. I know there is hope but it doesn't feel like it. My life is a mess, too, which doesn't help. It feels like I'm having a panic attack 24/7 and I'm barely hanging in there. If anyone wants to be friends and talk about this kind of disorder, please, PLEASE reach out to me. I'm desperate and terrified! I'm wondering if there are skills or coping mechanisms that I have not tried yet. Anything... Thank you all...i look forward to hearing from someone

[KHaynes]

Hi Delmaria

My heart goes out to you

My meds are no longer being made

I tried to get off them but my U.K. GP practice won’t let me see the psychiatrist

I got worse and worse and worse calling the dr or 111 or 999 until finally I gave up and went back on the low stock of the wrong dose but that will only last so long

My sister should have gone to Oxford or Cambridge but over the years she was in and out of hospital and finally got a diagnosis of schizophrenia

My niece has similar symptoms (not her daughter) so mental health problems run in the family 😢

I have had anxiety and depression my last therapist said I have PTSD whatever it is CBT does not work

My sister said to me years ago

It’s your body you take control of your meds

If they don’t work or side effects are impossible to deal with speak up

For me tinnetus constipation vivid dreams night sweats all of these are preferable to the chaos that controls me with OCD

Not that the tablets eliminate it

I still have a couple of weeks a month when I can’t go out and regularly sleep 12 hours a day

Sometimes I can’t answer the phone or cook or anything normal

I need Valium for most family gatherings and big events

I am using it now to ease back on my original tablets

I am on 6mg total daily

X2 2 mg upto six times a day

I am trying to keep the dose down to 4mg

One mental health nurse said ‘you can be on those for months without getting addicted’

My experience is that I have used 2 mg occasionally for years they were brilliant

Then I moved and lost my husband so I went visiting friends near my old home regularly by train on a four hour journey and began using Valium regularly

Not just for the journey but one friend was going through very tough times and had a huge dog

I ended up not going anywhere for four years by train

Stopped Valium for about a year and when I went back on it had to double the dose

One psychiatrist tried various other meds as she didn’t want me on it but nothing else worked

So now I am very careful

I rely on it but don’t push myself

I personally would never change meds unless serious contra indications set in

I was on detox at for years and suddenly (after our move) I began having uncontrollable fits of anger over nothing it was really scary

Other than that keep going back to your Dr if the meds don’t work

Try therapies different ones suit different people

I had two useless therapists and one CPNwho I think looking back were not trained to help me

The last two from a service called ‘talking therapies’ have offered a higher level of therapy ( over a longer time period and including an in depth explanation of what they are doing and why)

I even stopped the vivid dreams and night sweats after years and years

So I have two questions

Do you have to stop the old meds?

If so is it a valid reason?

I mean if they don’t work or give serious contra indications discuss that with your Dr

Maybe you need a higher dose in the first place or a complete change in the second

Of course mental health is a work in progress

Things change in your personal life

In your environment

As well as with age

I recommend no caffeine if you suffer anxiety a friend told me this for years

Finally I gave up even decaf tea and coffee

I am still unwell but cutting those out genuinely helped

So Valium is a bridge that’s all from one phase to another

Most meds for mental health take upto 12 weeks to fully kick in and get into the system whereas Valium runs out and needs topping up

Perhaps you could consider the journey you are currently on

Maybe you need to reassess the decision you made to change

All meds have side effects

Personally I prefer to sleep more and enjoy the time I am awake

Than be awake (like a good friend) and suffer constantly

So you have to work out what suits you best

If your Dr is an idiot (some are) get a second opinion

You need someone who will respect your intelligence and listen to your fears who treats you as an individual not a statistic

I am so privileged to have the NHS but a Dr is an artist not a scientist they cannot wave a magic wand

Having a faith is now universally acknowledged by the psychiatrist fraternity to be beneficial

Also if you can make a loose routine

If you achieve that great if you don’t carry on till you can try again

Eg my routine is fairly loose and flexible

Bible study at a meeting Sunday a.m

Meet with friends to witness on Monday afternoon

Study on the phone with a friend ruse afternoon and in the evening have an informal chat with two friends at my place

Weds is free and Thursday I have a pa who helps with paperwork then go to a bible study meeting Thursday evening

Friday morning take a bus ride to help out a friend at her home

Sat go in the afternoon to meet a friend for coffee

Sometimes (rarely) I can do all those things and more

Sometimes I don’t manage any

I am able to listen to the group bible study by a phone link but sometimes I can’t manage even that (or fall asleep)

This is all my own choice and has developed over the last few years since my husband passed away

I should exercise I have been better about my diet since my son left to get married

He was my career most of his childhood

I really admire your for that

Music lifts the mood even depressing music apparently 😳

My grandson plays video games it’s a huge disabled community online I know it here him

He also found a no profanity voluntary radio station to broadcast on!

Do you have any pets or plants?

I have cacti and tortoises

Both need little attention but give me great joy

I have tried volunteering but it became a burden when I was relied on

If you can find something voluntary it is known to help release endorphins like sports do and can distract from you own issues

Perhaps something outdoors?

You are seriously not alone

Great start to look for an online community

Thankfully I have a lot to be thankful for good physical health a warm home and good in the cupboard

I hope you have the same

Maybe this helped even if you just feel more connected

I hope so

Keep going everyone has good days and bad

Ps try to find a good comedian some old feel good movies and have a drink with a friend

I sincerely hope things come around to help you out

K Haynes

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Tramadol is not really related to any form of AD medication if it was I would be zonked out for most of the time, however some AD medications are used to suppress nerve pain around the tendons and nerves. Tramadol is a level two Opiate and needs to be signed for on a different part of your prescription in front of a Chemist, so I am interested why you have been taking them.

I started taking this pain medication twenty or thirty years ago under the direction of a Pain Clinic, I was also shown how to vary the dose and use a minimal dose of medication. So I do not take the maximum dose for pain, I use tools to help suppress pain other than medication. This medication Tramadol taken in the correct fashion is a marvelous medication when managed, yes sometimes after a bad attack of Chronic pain, the dose is managed, although is a very lean dose.

I can help if needed, although I would need to understand what has been advised to help you move on from this medication. You are taking medications that may cause mixed contraindications and that alone may be affecting your Anxiety and this will make you feel rotten

BOB