Just feeling down & discouraged...

Hello all, I am just feeling really down. I have been doing a job that I really Hate!! I have been doing this job since October 22, 2001 and people say that I do the job so well ot seems like I enjoy it because I always smile and be polite and courteous. The job that I have is a Custodian I hate the way people look at me its like when i walk past people literally will turn their heads or look down at the floor as they pass me by and yet I still give a smile and say Hello! and then they would turn to look at me and say "OH, Hello" like I was invisable until I spoke...I Hate that!!! I know I should have gotten out of this field a long time ago but I stayed know I am 45 and still doing it! But today for some reason I loterally hit my breaking point...I get used alot here at work because ai an a hard worker and I take great pride in my work, even though I detest what I do... Their are 6 other Custodians that work on my shift and one of my co workers was off on a 2 week Vacation My supervisor made me do his entire area and still maintain my area sent me 0 help for the entire 2 weeks!!! But if I take a day off he sends everyone on shift to help cover my areas one of my areas consist of The Childcare building My boss will send all 6 employees over together to get it done, ( I was told this by my co-workers)I dont understand that, and now I am completely Burnt Out!!! because we alrwady work 10 hour days and it consist of alot of walking and lifting and vacuuming,dumping lots of trash, cleaning restrooms,stocking restrooms, dusting, mopping and set-ups for meetings etc and he has me to do this all alone and I am a female the only female on the crew!!! I feel like I am about to just crack -up and start crying...I have no other skills or training so Im stuck as for now...I am just so stressed suffer from insomnia and I have uncontrolled diabetes type 2..Im just a mess!!

[Satsuma]

I hear you .. Gosh you are enduring a lot just now .. Hat goes off to you for sticking it out .. Sounds to me you employer is sexist which is a great shame .. I am not sure what to say about this except that is is mighty unfair .. Do you have a union you could speak to about it ?

[Hidden in reply to Satsuma]

Hi, thank you for the reply..Yes, he is a very sexist supervisor and Yes, I am apart of a Union, I really didn't want to go that route for fear of him getting angry and making my work life an even greater nightmare...But I suppose that is a great option to consider...Thank you for taking the time out to reply, it truly means alot!..

[Hidden]

Sorry you are travelling a lonely path and your interest in you are not getting any help when you feel ploughed over. Your Boss seems to be relying on your experience regarding the place you work in and this is making you feel worked out.

There is very little we can advise, it would seem you need rest from the treadwheel you are been forced to tread. It may be an idea to talk to your GP and ask if a course of CBT may help. Relaxation Techniques, Mindfulness could be tried as with associated breathing Techniques, however this is only a side line and I feel you may need to make some decisions for your future. Personally, yes you are low and depressed however medications may actually make you feel worse, your GP is the only one who can make that choice with your direction.

Consider other pathways, other types of employment you seem to be efficient and a good worker if that is the case many other companies will be able to take you on with something similar. Nineteen years is a long time we can become stale,

Are you having other problems at home that needs addressing. Generally people with Depression have other concerns and that can tear down your mood ?

BOB

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind words...Yes, I do need a break I will be putting in a few vacation days soon..Thanks again for taking the time to leave a response..I will be trying the breathing techniques that you suggested...

[CatSandy7]

Hi Myself38

I have been experiencing a lot of what you talk about. I too have stuck to a job for a long time 25yrs, I’m 59yrs and I have experienced bullying. The obvious words would be to do what makes you happy, but life isn’t easy to just change. My advice is rather than change your job, because there is nothing to say you won’t experience the same thing in another job. You know your job and you enjoy your job so stay and work on where you are at with yourself. Change will always happen, staff will leave etc which changes dynamics in the work place and your job although important cannot be allowed to fill your mind 24/7 – remember to pamper yourself, it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. A perfumed bath and a nice smelling body lotion for after and listening to your favourite music; read a book, its’ like watching a good film only better (when you find the right one hmm). I know you are struggling with your diabetes which will be affecting how you feel and how you are dealing with things, so your GP should be your first priority. Speaking to your GP about your stress at work and also your diabetes will be a positive step. Do you have a Human Resource department? If you feel so strongly you are being treat unfairly you could start keeping a diary at work to document the extra work you are given to do alone. Note in the diary also when other staff are given extra work and also when they are given help in their areas. Document clearly, because you will be able to use the diary to speak to Human Resource. I have spent a long time suffering at work and my solution has been a long time coming. Focusing my mind on my life outside of work has helped me. I too am friendly and sociable, but very guarded about one-to-one friendships and I’ve even had a long distance relationship for 15 years. My partner has been married twice and has children, but I still can’t bring myself to meet them! Allowing myself to get close to people is very, very hard. Keep your mind positive – remember to look outside your bubble, this is something I keep reminding myself to do. Take care and wishing you well x

[Hidden in reply to CatSandy7]

Wow, thank you for your reply and sharing your circumstances with relationship aswell as work related situations.. I like the diary Idea and will definitely keep note as to what goes on at work! Also I am that type of person that seldom thinks outside of work as I am so committed... I am going to be taking a few days of vacation to pamper myself which I haven't done in a long time...Thank you again for your time and well wishes...Greatly appreciated!!! And I hope all goes well with you!

[6ixtyon1]

I have had many friends who were custodians in schools, and in the place where I used to work...my mom and I used to clean houses, to help supplement my school costs and those of my sister, in private school. I so feel for you!

Sadly, this is one of those professions that never garners the respect that it deserves...if it's any consolation, I was looked down upon, too...even after I continued to clean, privately, and do ironing after my degree, because work was hard to find...

For you, maybe it's time for a change...there are private folks who would pay dearly for superb cleaning services, and good organizers...if you can spare any health insurance from your job--and, I know that's a hard one to give up--it might be worth your emotional and physical health to get some advice from someone who runs such a service, privately...

My sis still works on clerical from this site: wahm.com. I was too slow--LOL--so they dropped me...you may not find your exact work type, here, but there may be some "launch ideas"...

Is there anything in the local paper where you could get higher pay, at least...or, ideas of starting something on your own?

Blessings to you--cleanliness is next to godliness...and those who make the messes should think twice!

[Hidden in reply to 6ixtyon1]

Hi, thank you for taking time to send your kind words, also thank you for the job site! Awesome to hear that you were able to obtain a Degree...Thanks again.

[6ixtyon1 in reply to Hidden]

You are very welcome--tell us how things go in your search, when you get there! I think you have a lot of potential to set things up your own way! Blessings! :>)