Everything’s falling apart

[betterlife6]

Hi everyone. So I just moved in with my boyfriend of a year and he gets angry incredibly easy. His dad died about 10 years ago and he has a 4 year old daughter from a past relationship. He’s depressed and always says he hates his life. He said that I’m the only thing that makes him happy but I feel like I’m the root of all of his problems. The few days we’ve been in this apartment he seems so unhappy and stressed out. We’ve fought twice in 3 days. I don’t know what to do because I’ve suggested talking to someone about his anger. I’m so sad and feel honestly helpless. I can’t stop crying right now and it feels like my life is falling apart. All he keeps saying is he hates his life. Someone please help because I don’t know what to do 😞

[hypercat54]

Hi sorry to hear this. Is he getting any treatment and has he seen a doctor? If not then he needs to. Unfortunately men often see depression as a weakness in them and feel it's not 'manly' to seek help. It is no coincidence that the biggest cause of death among men aged 25-40 in the western world is suicide.

Unfortunately depressed folk mainly take it out on those they love which can be very hard to live with. I think you need to make it a condition of the relationship that he seeks medical help unless you can see yourself living like this indefinitely. x

[betterlife6 in reply to hypercat54]

He hasn’t sought out any help for his depression. He refuses to consider any medication. But we talked about counseling and said he was going to go then ignored it. I can’t continue to put myself through this. I just feel helpless.

[hypercat54 in reply to betterlife6]

Hi I would really ram it home to him that you can't continue like this and unless he seeks help you can't see your relationship being able to continue. Hard though this will be it will be a lot easier on you than allowing him to drag you down so low you might never be able to escape. Good luck! x

[Satsuma]

Sounds to me that he has fallen out of love with himself .. He needs to fall back in love with who he is .. You are not responsible for his happiness only he is just like you are responsible for your own .. Noone can make us happy .. Happiness only comes from within us

[betterlife6 in reply to Satsuma]

That’s exactly what it is. There’s nothing I can do but I love and care about him so much. It makes me sad to see this happening

[Satsuma in reply to betterlife6]

I agree what hyoercat54 says .. If he carries on he will end up pushing you away .. You will not be able to continue to live with that despite the fact you love him .. Your situation is toxic