Hello people, I just want to share my story with you regarding my daughter. She is 20 years old and currently studying at University, recently (approx 6 weeks ago) me and my wife noticed that she was spending lots of time in the bathroom. Also we noticed that she was frequently applying hand cream to her hands/wrists. There has never been issues before and it is beginning to have an impact on her life. She claims she has a water infection (which was negative from her results obtained by her doctor) and now she thinks she may have IBS. Me and my wife really don't know what to do to help and I am convinced its a psychological issue. She is an active person on a reasonably good diet. I am deeply concerned about her mental well-being as it seems to me she is in denial that she has some kind of mental problem. If anyone can give me any advice it would be much appreciated.
Thank you so much for reading this.
Written by
Caringdad
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Hello Caringdad , I remember my brother going through this type of behavior when he was a child. He never left the house without his hand crème , eventually he out grew it. Our father had died when my brother was 2 and our mother went to work . It was a very traumatic time for both of us. So yes, I think you're on the right track but 20 yr. olds rarely share personal information with their parents. I wonder if something happened to her and she's ashamed of, or feels responsible for. I think the best you can do is to tell her you're concerned about her, she hasn't seemed herself and she can tell you anything. There is nothing she could do that would change the way you feel about her. Reassurance and love I think are your best bet. It may take awhile. Pam
Welcome to our supportive community. I understand your concerns and I wonder if she is experiencing stress related to being at university, or as Sweetiepie has suggested something may have happened to her. It may be difficult to get her to sit down and talk you about how she is feeling, it will depend on how your relationships as a family have been in being open with each other. It does sound like something is bothering her, which may be triggering anxiety-related behaviours to minimise her anxious thoughts. However, this forum is no substitute for professional medical advice, we cannot diagnose or suggest treatment options, as this is a peer support forum. If you can encourage your daughter to speak to her GP, another trusted adult or even the university student support services who can offer help. Ultimately, at 20 your daughter is an adult and has to be willing to ask for help and make the first move. But there is nothing to stop you discussing your concerns with your GP too.
She is due to see her GP today and my wife and myself have told her that she must disclose everything to the doctor so that hopefully she can get help that she needs. We have always been a close knit family and like you said, the underlying issue maybe due to the intensity of being at University and also quite a distance from home. I will take a look at the links you have provided and thanks again for taking the time to read and reply to my situation.
Caringdad.
Both Pam and MAS Nurse have suggested different things and I agree with their thoughts and suggestions. College and Uni can have strong negative effects, especially if She is finding the course onerous and feeling left behind, also the examinations can prove to be a great worry. Like they were in my time. If stressed it may be an idea to contact the below telephone numbers and gain some form of assistance from the Uni. Problems in class may also be causing some form of Anxiety.
It may also be She is becoming evasive, regard actions. Your fears, concerns.
I was wondering if She has a compulsion to wash, hence the long stay in the Bathroom. Also IBS may be a problem. All above could be in some ways may be instigated by Her Studies and the stress of lectures etc
Also has your daughter a Partner at this time, if so do you know the dynamics of the relationship. All this can stand out as a problem
Getting your Daughter to talk may be a problem, If you can slowly turn Her around when all relaxed that may help, slow, slow you may find out what is going on. However Her GP may be able to square this circle with the help of the Social Team at UNI.
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