New to this.

[ginger35]

I’m a 35 yr old woman living in what feels like a constant state of depression. It started with anxiety and panic attacks - mainly around the fact that I am unlovable, which has grown to depression. I manage to maintain a good job, but i hate it. I often feel like my life isn’t worth living.. I lack purpose, I’m replaceable and I’m special to nobody. I’ve tried medications and therapy which did not work. I found CBT to be of absolutely no use. I despise the term “fake it till you make it”. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, I just felt like I needed to get things out.

[Marshall64]

Welcome to the forum. Venting is fine.

It sounds like you have tried medications and therapy. I'm not sure what else to suggest except maybe group therapy if you can find it in your area.

[mrmonk]

Hello ginger35, welcome to this HealthUnlocked community; it's a great place to unload all of your sadness, worries, and fears, knowing that somebody hears you. It always saddens me to hear that someone feels unlovable. It's not true, of course -- everyone can be loved, just as no one is replaceable -- but I understand how tightly that belief can take hold when you are depressed. I really think the key is loving yourself; then, living becomes its own purpose. Of course, this is an unasked-for opinion from someone currently coming apart at the seams, so take it with a grain of salt. I'm sure you'll find good support on the forums; there are lots of great folks here. Take care and be well.