My Addiction
“With the depth of my eyes and the future in your sight, there is nothing past or present that we cant overcome.”
I am an addict, the disease that makes you too selfish to see the havoc you created and to care about the people you shattered.
I am an addict every day, at any time I am subject to delusion, denial, rationalization, just fiction or insanity. All the hallmarks of the typical addict’s way of thinking. But today I have a choice to be a recovering addict. I will make that choice each day, by staying clean and working recovery.
Recovery is exhausting, why was I cursed with an addiction? Will I ever live fully recovered or will it always be a struggle?
I want to be better but I don’t even know what that would mean because I have no memories of a life without addiction.
I don’t know what that is, I don’t know what I’m striving for. I don’t know why I’m doing this. But I know if I don’t stop I’m accepting death. That’s just enough reason to keep trying. I’m just moving forward and I hope things will get better. I believe there is a possibility in a better life. So I keep trying. I still remember the long nights of desperation. The endless days of shame. All the time I felt lost in all the pain.
Recovery from addiction requires hard work, a proper attitude and learning skills to stay sober. Not drinking alcohol or using other drugs. Successful drug recovery involves changing attitudes, acquiring knowledge, and developing skills to meet the many challenges of sobriety.
Do everything day by day, you have the advantage to acknowledge this, if you continue being hopeful and believing that you are stronger than your addiction every day. Be proud. Last time was not yesterday. You are not a whiner.
Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be.
Recovering addicts are the strongest people you will ever meet. They are strong because they know the only way out of addiction is death. They know this and continue to fight for their sobriety. They fight to regain all the things they lost in active addiction. They fight every single day to be better than they were the day before. And they will fight every day for the rest of their life.
Every addiction, no matter what it is, is the result of trying to escape from something by going in the direction of a need that is currently not being met. In order to move past our addiction, we have to figure out what we are trying to use our addiction to get away from and what needs we are trying to use our addiction to meet.
Addiction cannot be cured if the fear of consuming is greater than the will power to quit using.
You don’t get over an addiction by stopping use, you recover by creating a new life where it is easier to not use. If you don’t create a new life, then all the factors that brought you to your addiction will catch up with you again.
One of the most important facts to remember about addiction is its progression. Addiction begins in an early stage that looks nothing at all like a life threatening disease; proceeds in to a middle stage where problems begin to appear and intensify and gradually advances into the late, degenerative stages of oblivious psychological deterioration and loss of control.
I felt empty and sad for years and for a long, long time, alcohol and drug's worked. I’d drink, use and the sadness would go away. Not only did the sadness go away but I was fantastic. I was handsome, funny, I had a great figure, and I could do math. But at some point, the booze and drugs stopped working. That’s when it started to suck. Every time I used, I could feel pieces of me leaving. I continued to drink and medicate until there was nothing left, just emptiness.
Addiction stunts the spiritual, emotional and mental growth of a person. For the addict, they literally stop wanting to learn or advance themselves on any level other than the one they are already on. This is why many addicts are emotionally stunted and are unable to contain their emotions. Many addicts believe that once they are sober, for a few months they are cured. Nothing could be further from the truth. An addict is not cured just because they stopped drinking or using, remember, “the drinking or using of alcohol for the addict is only a symptom of an underlying problem within him or her.” Total sobriety takes more than abstinence, it takes a spiritual and mental awareness through healing and growth. I have never yet read about, or heard of a case where an addict stopped using, but then years later they were able to just have one or two and stop.
“ My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life does not have to come last “
Im struggling with my life, someone please help me
My Value Is Zero
Existing not living :( 
Umm...I overheard my dad talking on the phone and I wish I didn't
My mental state
