Mental Health Support
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Want a way out

Hi everyone,, I'm not sure where to start really, and I know what I'm about to say is all my own fault. I have suffered from Depression, anxiety and ocd for several years now and I'm getting all the right help, but I just can't seem to shake this horrible feeling off. I dread going out and walking the streets as I can't seem to stop myself from just walking out into the road to get to my destination as quick as possible it's terrifying. I just feel safe indoors. I'm on medication but my sleep is really terrible at the moment so that doesn't help my mood. Even when family visit I'm all in a panick, I just wish I could close myself of to everyone and not have to deal with any of this, it's to stressful for me. Life is passing me by and I can't wait for it all to end so I don't feel like this anymore. I probably deserve a good shake and told to get a grip and I don't blame anyone if they think that

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It's not as easy as getting a grip,depression is a terrible thing but please stay strong

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You said in the beginning of your post that its all your own fault.. What is all your own fault? What you have described is how I feel on a lot of occasions myself but I am not on medication and I maybe just "hide" it better. I think what I am trying to say is that a lot of people these days feel like this for some reason and a lot of people are very good at hiding it. If you met me today, you would probably look at me and think I was one of the most confident people you had met, but you would be very wrong because what you see on the outside is not what is happening on the inside.

You said you even feel like this when family visit. Do you think you could maybe confide in your family (or even a family member) and say how you are feeling.??... You will probably find if you do the first reaction would be "I had no idea you were feeling like this" or words to that effect (so maybe you too are hiding it well!!). If you make people aware that you feel like this you will feel so much better. (Make sure though its people or just a person whom you trust. I have told my 2 best friends how I am and they totally get me and know when I am having a "no confidence episode"....I stopped drinking alcohol 2 months ago now and the number of things that I have had to cope with where normally I would reach for a bottle of wine and have done it and got through it without the aid of alcohol...Some issues in life are like water off a duck's back to other people but a BIG thing to people like us!)

Nothing is your fault and you have done nothing wrong. Maybe if you go back to your GP he might change your meds. Not all medication works the same for everyone and maybe yours isn't the right one for you? Just a suggestion, I'm not saying this is the case.

What ever you do, you are not on your own.

Please keep your chin up and remember when you are out and about walking or whatever, don't be afraid of people. You may think they are looking and thinking things about you when they are not even giving you a second thought...That's just what your brain is tricking you into believing.......

You live your life.....let everyone else get on with theirs!!

Big hugs!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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Hi Mazda, firstly I am not going to tell you to get a grip. And secondly it is not your fault, although I wonder why you think this is the case.

You have mentioned what you are diagnosed with and they are not conditions you can just switch off too because others or you think you can.

You are getting help which is good to know but if you have been under the cosh with this for some time then the steps to get better will or may be small ones, but doable none the less.

I think you can ease off giving yourself a hard time, and go with the input you have. Go out when it feels ok, you can reward yourself for the good things - I am sure they exist for you. I am talking about things like making tea, coffee things you can build in and identify the good things

Also have you heard of No Panic which is support for anxiety. They can be helpful, as well as finding distraction in hobbies/doing things.

I hope you can find a way forward and can keep working at this with the help you have.

If others try to poor cold water on your parade tell them to butt out if they are not showing support but want to judge you. You can feel better and more in control. Good luck to you 👍💪

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