First post

[Sashapearson43]

Hi this is my first post, I am not sure why I made it but I needed to tell someone. I am 17, but I am not coping my dad doesn’t care about me anymore and wouldn’t let me see my younger siblings. He finally let me see them and i got upset because I haven’t seen them in four months and got a little upset he then tells me off for crying and explain that this is my fault (he had to pay more money to CSA). I couldn’t cope with that and left, but my family are saying he didn’t do anything and I am getting worked up for nothing it’s like they can’t see what he is like as he has been so horrible to me. When all of this started three months ago after my dad first told me I couldn’t see my siblings they went out for a family meal with my grandma who told me she was on my side that night was the first night I self harmed. I told my self that when I see my siblings and make sure they are okay I don’t want live. They are okay without me. I am not writing this for sympathy I just wanted to finally let how I am feeling out as I can’t do this anymore, I am not afraid of death anymore.

[hypercat54]

Hi have you thought that your father knew you might be upset at seeing them and was trying to save you from that? How is he horrible? Can you leave and move in with your mother and your siblings? Or can you afford to leave home? x

[Sashapearson43 in reply to hypercat54]

My father isn’t horrible because he swears at me and tells me he wants nothing more to do with me I think it’s due to the fact that he has recently had another daugter with his new wife. I live with my mum as well. X

[hypercat54 in reply to Sashapearson43]

Well can't you choose to live with your mum full time? x

[Sashapearson43 in reply to hypercat54]

I do it’s just I am the oldest and all I want to do is be there for my siblings, but I can’t do that. X

[hypercat54 in reply to Sashapearson43]

I don't see why not and you aren't giving enough information for me to comment further or try and help. Unless you can then there is nothing more I can say. Take care. x

[secondhandrose2]

Your story sounds sad and although there isn't a lot of information to go on it sounds as though you are with your mum but your siblings are with your dad? I am wondering why he won't let you near them and is horrible to you... are your siblings your mum's children too? It must be hard for you not to be able to see them as much as you like How does your mum react to how you feel about that? x

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Sashapearson43,

Welcome to our community. Hopefully you find folks here are very empathic and will come alongside to support you. Family relationships are very complex at the best of times, and in our modern society with blended families, it's more challenging. If you believe your siblings are safe and well cared for, may be for now, you need to love them from a distance. Can you SMS, Skype or email them? Have you chatted through with your mum how you feel? Can or does she want custody of your siblings, again a complex issue? This is a safe place to express how you are feeling, we are listening. We may not have any specific answers, but we care and are here for you.

In regards to your self harming you may find these two UK websites useful:

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-...

Be kind to yourself. Stay safe.

Best wishes

[Qwerty50]

I don't mean to get technical, but you have a legal right to see your siblings as long as you aren't a danger to them, if you want, once you turn 18 you can bring this to court and fight for your right to see them. I doubt your dad will have a strong defense, based on the information provided. I don't know how much of a help I am if at all, but "you are stronger than you think." A quote from Winnie the Pooh!

[OMGPotatoe]

I'm going to be the black sheep here

I can only show you life but can give you no solution to its problems.

If I had children and got a divorce and my wife didn't want my support I should just accept that my children are gone forever, I can get a lawyer. but in the end I'm gong against my ex wife's wishes. I have to respect that even though she is my 'ex wife'

It is worth considering that you dad however much of tool, may actually be closer to you than your siblings. it may be worth considering what he wants even if its not in your interests.

after all, after you all reach 18 you can do as you wish. sometimes doing the right thing feels like being torn apart but its better to learn with living with the right thing than being torn apart by fighting it.