so it's 2:20 here and i am shaking, crying and my chest hurt
i was studying for the exam and i planned to finish early so i can call my boyfriend and talk with him.
what happened? i was already stressed from the study, but i putted all aside to spend good time with him, at the beginning we agreed to play video games, everything was going good until he started raging, he started blaming me and getting so angry with me.
I felt so angry and started shaking so i told him that i'm going to sleep but he kept telling me that he wants to talk to me, he started explaining why he was talking to me like that..
What!! there is no excuse to treat me like that, and when he ended up explaining i just said ok and goodnight but he said sorry and he asked me to stay with him, so i did, and when i did what did he said? he said "why are you getting angry so easily these days?"
I'm angry and i couldn't say anything to him, i felt that i can't talk so it looks like he thought that i'm cool and he was right about me getting overeating...
We kept talking, He talked about kids and asked me "what would we do when we get a kid?" and then he talked about how i would take care of the baby and this is how the society works because he can't stand the yelling and the smell of their poop and women can stand all that by nature....
When we committed to eachother for real we talked about how everything would be 50-50 and we will get through everything together.
And now what we learn:
- He doesn't consider that i have exams coming and when i needed to have some fun he just ruined it and get angry with me because of a stupid game
-He can get angry, that's ok, but when i do, i'm overeating.. dude i have feelings too
-telling me that you are not ready to take responsibly way in the future.. that's not encouraging
-kind of breaking your words
And believe me, this is not the first situation that happened, we have been through a lot of bad thing... or should i say "i did", i lost a lot, i give up a lot for him and most of the time when i do he demands more, it's never enough
Then i look to the big picture, i see that he have thing that describe him as the love of my life and the person who love me and can do a lot for me, in the same time i find those things that make him the wrong person for me, how? how can i find two opposite thing in the same person? can someone just tell me how is this possible?