I can't remember the last time I genuinely liked anything about myself. I have been on my anti-depressant for about 17 months now and I do not feel any better, the doctor increased my dosage after the first 2 months and hasn't done anything since anytime I tell them i don't feel any different.
I feel like I am beginning to gain a bad relationship with food as I binge eat alot and hide in my room when i'm eating because I don't want anyone to know how much I am eating.
I have also noticed that I am beginning to rely on alcohol alot more now too, to make me feel numb. I'm only 23 and have uni and my whole life ahead of me but I can't seem to pull myself out of this rut and it's really starting to cause even more problems for me.
I have had 2 suicide attempts and both I instantly regretted, I feel it was more than a cry for help rather than a way out but recently there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about trying to overdose... I'm beginning to become scared of myself and what I might do
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McKenzie94
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Thank you for sharing with us on the forum and welcome!
There's no one proven way that people recover from depression, and it's different for everyone because the depression is experienced differently.
There are a range of effective treatments and health professionals who can help you on the road to recovery. I noticed that you did not mention any form of counseling with a psychologist in addition to the medication prescribed for you.
Talking therapies, in my opinion are a key part of any mental health wellness plan.
If you are a student, try contacting the student assistance program for some free, confidential support.
There are also plenty of things you can do for yourself to recover and stay well such as looking at your diet and sleep, some walking or meditation, staying social - meeting friends for coffee etc. We can come up with an awfully long list - it's about choosing something that you can relate to and keep doing it.
The important thing is finding the right treatment and the right health professional for your needs to support you on the journey towards being the best person you can be.
There is an excellent e-book available Feeling Good New Mood Therapy which is useful reading. By Dr Burns, it has sold 4 million copies. Its available in print too.
You have far greater hope simply standing on the fact that you instantly regret your impulsive suicide attempts.
There are dozens of very different medications that can be used that are infinitely superior to alcohol . You aren't stuck to one. If there's no improvement of any kind after a month of use, it's time ask for more options.
It's also important to realize that, sadly, psychiatrists' forte is throwing medications at patients believing that should make them feel better. They barely spend more than 10 minutes with you at a time usually. But that's like having a broken leg and being given pain medication from your doctor, when you need surgery and healing therapy; medication is only ever meant to just make that healing and therapy process more bearable.
It's extremely important to get therapy help from a counselor, therapist, or if you can afford it, a psychologist, somebody who isn't qualified or licensed to pump you full of meds. They try and help you figure out the core essence and reason you have pain, isolate it, root it out, and come up with mental mind-over-matter skills; knowing is half the battle.
Hi there McKenzie94 - I don't know a lot about these medications and Psychologists etc but I do know that one of the best thing is the friendship and reassurance that this Forum can offer. You are never alone no matter what you may be feeling - we are all here to listen and chat. You did one of the hardest thing you will ever have to do - admit you have a problem with your eating habits, your depression, drink dependency etc. Don't look at the big picture on this, treat them individually and this way it might just seem easier to tackle. No matter what we are all just here at the end of a message. Take care of yourself, please. x
Hi McKenzie ☺ I've only just joined this forum but wanted to let you know we are here. I've suffered from depression for years & know how extremely difficult it can be.For me ,I start by doing small things that make me smile ie- listening to music , going for a walk in the Autumn sunshine etc. Little things to lift your mood & make you feel better.Tc x Sounds a bit lame I know but the more you do the more you want to do x
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Need advice plz self harm
Self care is key to me and my health
** Trigger Warning** Is this considered as self harm and what are some tips to stopping?
Bipolar and depression 
