Hello, I am new here... not sure if OCD or something worse....please help.

[ttonev]

Hello to everyone, I am new to this forum,

So It all started 2 months ago, I was on my computer and was scrolling my Facebook timeline...suddently The news about Chester from Linking Park popped up, and I had an anxiety atack, since then i have intrusive thoughts about self-harm.... so i was terrified and started googling the results were "major depression". I became even more terrified. I am so scared. Also i started having thoughts that life is pointless and so on....I really don't want to think that way. Also there is a dark feeling that makes it seems real. I went to my psychologist and I shared with him the whole story. He said that i won't finish like Chester and there was a temporary relief, also we spoke about nihilism and he said "nihilism people say that they don't want kids on this terrible world" so of course that stucked into my head and feels real accompanied by a dark feeling again. Thoughts like it will be easier to.....i don't even want to say that word. I don't have history of depression, but I do have history of OCD episodes(drug related). Also I can't stop googling since then(I think this is an ocd symptom, but again I am not completely sure.) Also there isn't history of depression in my family. I am afraid that I am depressed and will never be my old self again.

I don't have the typical symptoms of depression like low self-esteem, I don't feel worthless and so on, but i do have tiredness and lack of apetite and seems like my emotions are less also i have less interest in my hobbies(I don't know if it is due to the anxiety). I also have a feeling that when I go to university I will lose control over the stress and...I don't want even to say it. I aslo have trichotillomania but I am glad that i don't touch my hair.

I also cut the alcohol because I am scared that i will lose control and eventually...you know.

So do you think it is Pure-O OCD?

P.S. Just to let you know...I made a blood test and it show severe b12 deficiency and Iron deficiency.

Sorry for the long post.

[Hidden]

Hi no one can say this is OCD as we are not doctors on here. You need to ask yours about that. As for your vitamin B12 and iron deficiency I hope you are getting treatment for these as the lack of them can cause or be a factor in depression and anxiety. Lil x

[ttonev in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, yes I am starting treatment soon. I was just curious if someone experienced this due to OCD.

[Hidden in reply to ttonev]

I am glad you are starting treatment and I hope you are feeling better very soon. You might well find your symptoms disappear entirely - I hope so.

For what's it's worth I think this sounds more like anxiety. There are some on here who do suffer from ocd and hopefully one or two will come in soon. x

[ttonev in reply to Hidden]

Anxiety is ok. I thought it was clinical depression at first. Also...since then Sometimea I worry that i don't worry. What the ****?

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi ttonev, welcome to the forum. As Lilaclil said, we are unable to say on the forum whether or not you have OCD. A doctor will diagnose this. There are some very good and effective treatments available. Also, your vitamin B12 and iron deficiency can be successfully treated and this will improve the way you are feeling. Please make another appointment to discuss these issues and let us know on here how you are getting on. Best wishes.

[Florida1959]

I have been reading a lot about B12, during my recent bout of anxiety, and llloking at iron deficiency etc, I am not sure how you get a diagnosis of OCD, what does GP say?

[ttonev]

Florida1959 I think it is OCD, I was not diagnosed. I don't know if it is depression or anxiety or OCD.